Saturday, September 21, 2013

Jack's Conscience & Anna's Memory

This is one of those random posts, where I just want to capture some interesting things that have recently happened or been said in our house.  I have a lot of blogging to catch up (my solo trip to Florida, our visit to the fair today, and, umm....  okay, I guess "a lot" is pretty relative).

Anyway, on Wednesday Jack had a rough day.  He just wasn't acting like his usual self.  He was kind of grumpy and not being very nice to his sisters.  He made a mess in the bathroom (nothing disgusting) and was in his room upset.  I went upstairs and sat down on the floor.  I reached out my arms and he just collapsed into them, crying.  He was afraid that I was going to be upset about the mess and he did not want me to know about it (he had actually cleaned it up, but Anna had reported it to me--there are no secrets in the Wilson house).  I asked if I was such an ogre of a mother that he had to be scared of me.  He laughed and said no. I asked if anything else was bothering him.  Then, it all just spilled out.  He'd had a terrible day at school!  He played with the walky talkies on the way to the office.  Then, he told his teacher his friend was bothering him, when really his friend wasn't.  He wasn't nice to his classmates at recess.  On and on it went. There was nothing very significant, (other than the shear magnitude of real and perceived transgressions) but he was obviously extremely upset with himself for the choices he had made.  We had the expected conversation about how he could make a fresh start the next day and tell his friends he was sorry.  Then, we talked about how much better he feels on the days he comes home excited because he earned tickets for good behavior. He seemed to feel better after our talk. He asked me not to tell Daddy about his day and I agreed. However, after Thomas got home from work, not 10 minutes passed before Jack was repeating everything he had told me. What amazed me about the whole situation was how truly bad Jack felt. He is an incredibly sensitive, extremely compassionate kid who feels things deeply.

One other story to illustrated the guilty conscience:  on the second day of school, we sent Jack with a water bottle.  He came home and told me he did not think he was allowed to bring it back because he had played with it when he wasn't supposed to.  Since there was no note from the teacher, I told him that it was probably okay to return with it.  However, he adamantly refused. So, I e-mailed his teacher.  She immediately responded that he was probably confused because she had told the class that if they played with their water bottles, they would lose the privilege of bringing them.  She assured me that if Jack had lost the right, she would have sent a note.  I suspect that he played with the water bottle, either before or after the warning and imposed the consequence upon himself.  It certainly would not be the first time.  I imagine it won't last forever, but I have to say, I kind of enjoy the guilty conscience.  Because of it, Jack doesn't lie to us and will occasionally even spontaneously tattle on himself.  (Unfortunately, it does not prevent him from committing the offenses in the first place, but we'll take what we can get.)

On to Anna.  Lately, I have been noticing that the kid has an amazing memory.  We were talking about the upcoming fair and she started reciting the rides from last year and who rode what and what rides she and/or Kara had been afraid to try. We have not talked about the fair in a year and there has been no review of pictures.  The kid just remembers everything.  I sometimes rely on her when trying to remember a name or event.  She likes to prey upon the fact that Thomas and I sometimes lack her great skills.  We recently punished her for something and told her the next time we did whatever it was she would not be allowed to join in (I can't remember the specifics--I should ask Anna, since I am sure she would).  She sassily responded, "that's fine with me, because I know by the next time we do it, you are going to forget you said that!" (Needless to say, the consequence immediately changed into one that was immediately enforceable.)

Also, some impressive news about Anna--she scored her first soccer goals in last week's game!  Of course, this took place while I was in Florida.  After sitting through many, many soccer games watching my kids twirl in the sand (not really, but it makes the story better), Anna got into the thick of things.  According to Thomas, she took control of the ball, dribbled it down the field and scored not one, but two goals!  (Jack also played extremely well and came very close to scoring, but did not quite make it to the net.  Kara, who was the most insistent on playing, decided she no longer enjoys soccer and chose to look for flowers).