New Furniture & Nesting

We are down to the final days (11!) before we can expect Luke to enter this world and I am feeling a bit overwhelmed.  I am not sure if one can be actually be a "bit" overwhelmed, but I am having difficultly finding the right adjective.  Sensitive might be another appropriate term.  Although, perhaps not in the traditional sense. Things that normally bother me slightly, like the dust on the baseboards in the kids' bathroom have taken on a new level of importance.  So, I spent the past few days cleaning and organizing the kids' bedrooms, bathroom and playroom. However, I am getting ahead of myself.  Let me start with the new furniture.

In order to not have to work when the baby is born, I spent a lot of time working in January and February.  I completed my two week AT and also stacked up on regular drill days. This was a bit of a burden on the family, particularly Thomas who ended up having to take a few sick days when childcare didn't go as planned, thanks to illnesses or snow days. However, we persevered.  After I do my two weeks (or whatever amount of time, depending on the year), Thomas and I typically make a big purchase, something we have been wanting, but couldn't really justify buying. Actually, if I am honest, it is usually me driving this ship.  My first year of "part time," I actually spent 3 months working and we bought Jack's bunk bed and new kitchen appliances; the second year it was a trip to Disney World; and this year it was a new couch. I have hated our couch since almost the day we bought it. It looks nice and is comfortable for a few minutes, but once you sit on it to watch a movie, you quickly realize that looks can be deceiving. As a result, I have spent the past 6 years hating that couch. Additionally, even with the accompanying chair and ottoman, it did not provide enough seating for our family of 5, at least not with the way the kids like to sprawl. So despite the fact that the old couch was fully functioning and not necessarily needing to be replaced, I really wanted a new one.  I used the pregnancy as an excuse, not that I needed one, and made Thomas join me at a furniture store.  We settled on a new sectional and patiently waited the 4 weeks the salesman told us it would take to get here. Then, we waited another 3.5.  Finally, the day arrived and our new couch was placed in our living room. The old couch was relegated to the office, where it can serve as a place for short sits and Thomas moved the chair and ottoman to a new reading corner in the master bedroom.  A pretty successful arrangement if I do say so myself!

Old couch in it's new home

New couch!

The very same day that the new couch arrived (and I can't believe the length of that paragraph I just devoted to a couch!), we had another furniture delivery.  Thomas' father wanted to buy us something nice for the baby.  However, after hand-me-downs from neighbors, the baby shower, and our own process of slowly stocking-up, there wasn't much we could thing of.  Then, he offered a bunk bed for the girls. Those who are unfortunate enough to be in the position of listening to my regular ramblings know that we have struggled with what to do with bedrooms when Luke comes home. The first few months aren't a problem, we'll keep him in with us (in a separate sleeping area), but the long-term presented a problem.  Jack is a little old to have to share a room with a baby.  Moving one of the girls in with Jack was a short-term solution, and Anna and Kara can be a bit of a volatile combination.  However, the girls indicated that they really wanted to share a room (of course, Jack also thinks it would be great to share a room with the baby), so when Thomas' dad offered the bunk bed, we decided it was definitely worth taking him up on.  He ordered it on a Tuesday, and it only took 4 days to get here.  So, now the girls are in one room.  It has only been 5 nights, but so far the arrangement is working out well. Thomas unassembled and reassembled Anna's old bed to create a guest room for two in Kara's old room (for when friends come up to help with the baby, after they leave, we will transition it to Luke's room) and we are one step closer to "ready."

Enough about furniture, onto the nesting. Lately, I can't stand how much of a mess the house is.  My kids just have way too many toys that seem to migrate from their designated areas. It drives me crazy! Additionally, all of a sudden I am noticing how dusty everything is. I am pretty good (although not great) at straightening up and keeping clutter at bay.  I vacuum and mop regularly.  Apparently, however, dusting is not my forte and all of a sudden when I walk into a room, it's all I can see (as a sidenote, the girls like to play "Love It or List It, based on the HGTV show, so we get regular opportunities to "tour" the house, pretending to be prospective buyers and oddly enough, I do tend to see things a bit more critically).  Anyway, I am slowly trying to get a handle on things.  This week, I tackled all the kid areas. I organized the playroom, moved all of Kara's toys out of her old room, and did a complete top to bottom cleaning in Jack's.  It's a start and it feels good to have accomplished something.  The office is my next big project.  The state of the bookshelves makes me cringe (my kids like to play "library" which means nothing on the shelves ever looks good) and again, the dust is a bit overpowering.  So, that will be my project next week.  Then, I need to do the master bathroom. Hopefully after that I will feel like my nesting urge has been satisfied.  In a perfect world, I would find a way to remove every single item, except maybe the toaster and knife block, from my kitchen counters. Even though others seem to successfully manage that, I fully recognize it is just not realistic for me. So, I will try and settle with organizing the office and getting the bathroom back in shape (this is another one I blame on the kids--all of the girls jewelry is mixed in with mine and their bath toys have taken over our tub and are now slowly taking over the shower).

Newly organized playroom, bins are labeled with words and pictures.

This may be the least interesting blog I have ever written.  But, I have come too far to turn back now.

Valentine's Day

Last Valentine's Day, the kids and I had a wonderful time making their cards.  We chose one online and then all sat down together at the table and assembled.  They loved it!  This year, I figured we would do the same thing.  I found a few simple ideas and let them choose which one they wanted.  Anna and Kara chose the same cat we did last year (You're a Purrrrfect Friend) and Jack chose a ninja design.  I dutifully bought the necessary materials and cut everything out for them, so all they would have to do is assemble.  They were excited about it...until we got started.  Then, there was lots of whining and complaining.  And, lest you think I waited until February 13 and expected them to do them all in one sitting, I didn't.  I started a full week before hand and told them we could just do a few each night.  But, they were never in the mood.  Sure, it started out fine, but a few glue sticks and heart shapes later, they were ready to call it quits.  In the end, Thomas and I did about 90% of the work.  Although, in their defense, I did make them write out all the names (which was done before we started putting them together).

This blog is mostly to serve as a reminder to myself for next year to just buy a box of premade Valentines and to save us all the time, money and aggravation (although, the finished products were really cute).

Because of (more) snow, they didn't get to hand them out until the Monday after Valentine's Day.  I was very anxious for them to come home and to hear about their day.  They bounded off the bus and all 3 were talking at once, they were just so excited!  We got home and they each described their class parties and everything that had happened.  Then, they each showed me all their Valentines (out of all three class, there was only one other kid who did a homemade card, guess the other parents are smarter than I am).  It is really fun having kids at this age where everything is just so exciting!

I thought I took pictures of the completed Valentines, but apparently not.

Thomas created a surprise Valentine sock puppet.  The kids loved it!  (I thought it was clever, but wished he had waited until we were done, since I wasn't sure we needed any more distractions).

The inspiration for Jack's (it's a wrapped Hershey's bar)

Kara's Fifth Birthday

Kara turned five this week.  I know I have said this before (and, I know I'll say it again), but it amazes me how agonizingly long some days are and yet the years just fly on by.  For her birthday, she wanted to have a party at the gymnastics center.  We booked it back in November (or maybe it was early December) for Saturday, February 15.

Her actually birthday was on Wednesday, the 12th.  We had joked with her for about a week about how things might be different when she was five (i.e., we didn't know if she would give such good hugs as a five-year old, and what if she woke up much taller, etc.), so I think she was relieved when I came into her room and she felt the same.  She had to prove she could still give great hugs and was very happy with her surprise birthday shirt.  It was a school day and she brought cupcakes in to share with her class.  Then, for her birthday dinner, she chose a cheese fondue and an orange cake with "lots of different colors inside."  She opened her presents, which consisted of a clock radio, a doll from the movie Frozen, a My Littlest Pet Shop character from Anna, and a snow globe from Jack (as silly as that present sounds, it was a thoughtful gift as it's something that Kara had been asking for.) 

On Friday, she got a birthday package in from her Grandma Kathy and Grandpa Dave.  She was very excited to open it and thrilled that the birthday celebration was continuing.  They sent her some toys and lots of books.  One of the books, "The Days the Crayons Quit" became an instant favorite and I think Thomas and I have read it about 10 times in the past two days.

Finally, it was Saturday, they day of her party.  We had the late afternoon session (4:30-6:30), which made it feel like a very long day for the kids.  The gym is pretty amazing.  The kids did a few sessions last year and really enjoyed it, but there are just so many activities for them to chose from and it fell by the wayside when they signed up for soccer.  Anyway, they were happy to be back. Kara had such a good time and was very happy that so many of her friends were able to come.  We invited the little girls from the neighborhood (and their brothers, of course) and a few of her friends from Mechanicsville that we haven't had the opportunity to see in a while (along with Lily and Curtis, who don't live in the neighborhood and who aren't from Mechanicsville, but without whom no Wilson party would be complete).  It was fantastic!

Photo dump time:

This foam pit is in 9 feet deep!  

After all the cold and snow, the kids were more then ready to just run and run and run

Baby Shower!

In early January, my good friend Alecia called me and said that she and our friend Sarah wanted to throw me a baby shower.  I was very flattered, but also somewhat reluctant.  This is our fourth child and I felt a bit awkward about it. Personally, I love going to baby showers and I don't care what number child someone is having, but I think we judge ourselves harder than we do other people.  Fortunately, my excitement over the idea won out over my reluctance and we set the date for February 1st.  

Alecia and Sarah settled on a baseball theme and everything looked very cute.  The food was fantastic, there were peanuts and cracker jacks, nachos, pigs in blanket, fruit and caramel, cute baseball cookies, and Shelly made some awesome funnel cakes.  We played some games: family feud and a game where people had to guess my answers to various questions (i.e. what is the best thing about having a boy; who is a man I admire; how will we celebrate the babies first birthday, etc.).  It was nice to sit around and be with my friends.  

It was also my first shower.  I had Jack and Anna shortly after we moved to a new city and we hadn't had the chance to make many friends, particularly since I went into the hospital at 31 weeks.  Then, Kara was born so quickly thereafter, that I don't think a shower crossed anyone's mind.  So, I had never had a baby shower (insert sad sigh).  It felt strange to be the center of attention, something I try to avoid, but I loved being there with my friends.

We got some wonderful gifts.  I felt very lucky.  Jack and Anna were only 16 months when Kara was born, so there were lots of things that we once had 2 or 3 of (cribs, highchairs, pack-n-plays, boosters, etc.). When we moved into this house last year (well, in late 2012), I got rid of the last of the big stuff.  We still had some clothes and some of the smaller stuff, like bottles and crib sheets, but even that had been picked through by friends having children over the years.  In other words, we were almost starting at the beginning with this one and it was a bit painful to buy things that we owned just a year or two ago (particularly the things we'd owned in triplicate).  I was very grateful to a neighbor who gave us a crib, bathtub, and some other things.  And then we got so many great things at the baby shower.  When I brought home all the stuff and showed Thomas and the kids, everyone's excitement over Luke increased with each cute item.  It was just a fun experience and I was so thankful to Alecia and Sarah and everyone who came.  

Making those delicious funnel cakes!

Here's Alecia hosting Family Feud.  I think my team won, but it was a close call.

So many nice gifts!  Anna, Jack and Kara quickly claimed the balloons when I got home.

The four pregnant girls, standing in order of due date.  Sarah is March 16, I am March 21, Shelly is April 22, and Jennifer is June 28 (I think I have all those right...)

Snow Days

The kids have missed a lot of school lately.  It started back on January 10, with what should have been a 4-day weekend in honor of Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. Those 4 days morphed into 10.  We didn't have that much snow, but it was so cold that the snow never melted and the back roads remained super icy. Unfortunately, super icy roads and buses don't mix, hence the cancellation of school.

I am sure there are some parents that would be overjoyed to spend 10 days in a row with their children.  I certainly enjoy our time together during summer break. But, we are prepared for it then.  We have things planned and even when we don't, I can always shove them outside for a few hours. Not the case in January. In January, the entire routine is disrupted and uncertain and that is most of the cause for frustration.

So, how did we spend our 10 days off?  During the planned weekend, we went to the Smithsonian and visited the Museums of Natural and American History.  We also took a trip to Ikea (as we pulled into the parking lot, Jack asked in a suspicious voice, "hey! what are we doing at the airport.") to buy some shelves for the playroom.  We organized the basement into a workout area and a play area (theater area to be created at some point in the future).  Then, we still had 6 days to go.

One day we went sledding with some neighbors.  That was super fun.  I even tried it (unfortunately, getting out of a sled when you are 8 months pregnant is not the easiest thing to do).  And, the kids weren't really dressed appropriately.  We have never really needed snow pants or boots, so I didn't bother buying any this year.  Subsequently, we didn't last long.  But, it was great while it did last.  It was nothing like what Thomas experienced in Lake Tahoe (where his backyard provided several great "runs") or even my trips to Potato Hill as a child in Massachusetts, but it was still impressive; and I am sure there are places around here with even bigger hills that we can find as they get older.  It was definitely a good childhood experience for them.

So, what else did we do?  Thomas took time off and played lots of games with them.  We let them have extended electronics time. And, we read a lot of books. That really is pretty much it.  I had to go to work one day, which was actually on the worst of the weather days.  The high was only something like 9 degrees and the windchill was below 0.  When I got to the base none of the roads had been plowed and I found myself waddling across an icy parking lot to get to the necessary building.  Fortunately, the kids were safe and warm at home.

This week, they have already missed one day to snow and there are a few more bad-weather days predicted in the 10-day forecast.  This is definitely not the mild winter weather I expected when we moved here.  The kids were clamoring to get back to school after the long break, but as Jack said, "it wasn't really as fun as I remembered;" they are happy to wear their pajamas inside out and flush ice cubes down the toilet to entice the snow gods into granting even more days off.  Me, I am ready for Spring.

Hurt Feelings/Sibling Relations

I want to tackle a subject that continually weighs upon me: the state of my childrens' relationship.  The biggest benefit of having 3 so close together is that there is a constant playmate.  Right now, they seem to enjoy one another's company and they look forward to spending time together.  They enjoy having sleepovers in each others rooms and inventing silly games to play.  Obviously they fight, in fact they fight quite frequently, not only daily, but often hourly.  But one of my sincerest wishes for them is that as they grow older, they will see one another as their best and truest friends.  I want to do everything I can in my power to cultivate their relationships.  However, I recognize that this is ultimately something that exists beyond my control.

It is only recently that I have come to appreciate the role of nature in the sibling relationship.  Despite being raised in the same home at the same time, I understand that one day my kids will grow up, discuss their childhood and have vastly different recollections of the same events.  I finally see that their perception is colored by their personality and as much as I want to shape things, there is only so much I can do.  So, we do the obvious, like not comparing or trying to create competition.  We spend a lot of (probably too much) time talking about how important family is, how friends will come and go, and how the people they live with are the ones they can count on.  However, I can't help but feel there is more we can do to stack the odds in favor of a good outcome.

Recently, Jack and Anna were invited to a birthday party and Kara wasn't.  Kara was upset, the party was for someone she knows, likes, and thinks of as her friend.  I was hoping Anna would understand the situation from Kara's perspective, but instead Anna just said, "Mom, she doesn't like Kara.  I don't blame her for not inviting her, because I don't like Kara either."  I spend enough time watching Anna and Kara play and giggle together to know this isn't true.  But, I also know that at the moment she said it, she meant it. For the first time, but I am sure not the last she is choosing a friend over her sibling. And, I don't like it. Not at all.  But, what can I do?  Should I do anything?  She knows I am upset with what she said, but do I convince her she feels otherwise?  I did give a clipped response of, "in five years, do you think you will still be friends with Jenny?  Well, guess who is still going to be sleeping in the room next to yours.  You need to figure out where your loyalties lie."

Of course, all that is meaningless to her (as emphasized by her saying, "what does loyalties mean").  I am guessing she will be in her 20s before she understands the lesson I am trying to impart.  But, in the meantime, it is frustrating.  And, this situation is extremely minor.  A birthday party isn't going to make or break things, in two weeks, it will be a distant memory.  However, in ten years, a similar situation could devastate things. What happens if someone is picked on at school and their siblings stand up for the attacker?

I want to our home to always be the safe haven, the one place in the world where they can feel completely safe and loved. I want to them not only love each other, but to like one another and to want to spend time together.  I don't want them to feel competitive with each other, but to see the triumph of one as a triumph for all.

This parenting thing is not easy.

Thoughts on Being Pregnant

As most who read this blog know, I am pregnant with our fourth child.  We are expecting a baby boy in March.  As the pregnancy progresses, I find myself reflecting on how different it feels this time around.  I am not sure if it is the 5 years, the extra 30 pounds, or some other unknown factor(s).  Although, I imagine it is some type of combination.

My first pregnancy was full of ups and downs.  I was pretty sick the first trimester, losing about 10 pounds. However, I never missed a day of work or found myself unable to function.  As soon as the second trimester hit, the sickness went away and the pregnancy seemed to progress smoothly.  Since I didn't know what to expect, I was conscious of every ache and pain.  I tried to stay active, Thomas and I would take daily walks, I would do water aerobics twice a week, and alternate in a few workout dvds.  I felt like I was doing everything I was supposed to.  In fact, the only time I have ever felt thin in my life was when I was pregnant with Jack and Anna.  I can remember one nurse commenting that "you must have been a stick before you got pregnant!"  While that was certainly not the case, it was nice to hear.  I imagine it was just because people felt like someone carrying twins should have been larger, but still, I felt pretty good about myself.

At 31 weeks, I went in for a routine check-up.  As I was getting dressed to leave, I mentioned some pressure I had been feeling.  To be safe, the doctor decided to check me.  She found that I was dilated and sent me to labor and delivery, they hooked me up to a fetal monitoring system and I was surprised to learn I was having regular contractions.  The rest of the night is a bit of a blur, but they gave me medicine to stop the contractions, while preparing to send me to labor if the medicine failed.  The contractions got stronger and stronger.  It went on for hours and was frightening.  It seemed like every doctor in the hospital stopped by to check my progress (it was a teaching hospital, so there probably were a disproportionate number of doctors around).  But, they were able to halt the labor.  I didn't get to leave the hospital for another 4 weeks. My water broke at 35 weeks and the twins were delivered via c-section--small, but healthy (that birth story, which includes a drugged-up Thomas, should be told another day).

Taken right around 31 weeks, this may actually have been on the day of my appointment where were found out I was in labor.

I had a very easy recovery after my c-section.  I was up and walking within a few hours and never took any medication stronger than extra strength Tylenol. The worst part was honestly that I got the world's largest cold sore.  It hurt more than the c-section recovery.

The months after Jack and Anna were born were extremely trying.  My mother had recently passed away, I was struggling with trying to breast feed, and was plagued by a weakened immune system (from lack of sleep I imagine).  I had an ear infection that left me deaf in one ear for weeks and an awful case of strep throat.  Because my job required me to be in court multiple times a week, calling in sick was not really an option.  When the twins were about 7 months old, things finally started to calm down.  I was anxious to work on getting back in shape and had just resumed a jogging routine when I found myself unexpectedly pregnant.  I had known our family was not complete, and while I was excited about another baby, the timing did certainly feel a bit off.  Also, I was kind of embarrassed.  I had just spent months in the hospital and on maternity leave and now I had to go in and tell my boss I would be needing more time off.

This pregnancy was a lot easier than the twin pregnancy.  I was still sick, but much less so.  I don't think I was as active during this pregnancy as I was with my first.  We still went for walks, but I was a bit nervous to push myself.  I was afraid of another preterm labor.  However, Kara was born at 39 weeks, full-sized and healthy.  It was such a huge difference to have a normal-sized infant.  She slept better and was very easy (until her stubborn streak set in).  But, my recovery was more difficult.  I needed the Tylenol 3 a few times and I had a lot more pain.  I know I have written about her birth story, so I won't belabor the issues here.  I will just say that it was not as easy.

Taken the day Kara was born.

So, here I am 5 years later.  I am much more nervous this time around.  On top of the issues I had after Kara's birth, I am also more worried about this baby.  It never occurred to me that my other babies wouldn't be born healthy.  I remember the nurse coming to me after Jack and Anna were delivered and saying, "they look great, very healthy," and thinking, "of course they do.  Why wouldn't they?"  It honestly never once occurred to me that they wouldn't be born healthy.  That seems crazy now.  With years of parenthood has come years of seeing that not all children are born healthy.  Now, I am much more aware of everything that can go wrong and I am praying for a healthy baby.  I am also nervous for myself.  I am afraid of having a difficult recovery (or worse).  I am not plagued by these thoughts, I am just much more conscious of unpleasant possibilities.  Before having children, I don't think I paid attention to stories about women dying in childbirth, or personally knew of any kids born with life-threatening issues.  Most of my friends were childless, it just wasn't something that was on my radar.  Now it is.

At 30 weeks pregnant, I feel pretty good.  I was more sick with this pregnancy than the other two.  I am also having a terrible time sleeping.   But, while I am nervous about starting over, I am also excited.  I can't wait to see what kind of big siblings Jack, Anna, and Kara will be and to experience what it is like to have just one baby in the house.  It is an exciting time for our family!