Happy Anniversary!

Yesterday, Thomas and I celebrated eight years of marriage.  In honor of this momentous occassion, this post will consist of a stroll down memory lane dedicated to my husband.

August 2001, the first days of law school.  Two sets of eyes meet across a crowded room.  The world around them freezes, an instant connection forged.  They know they are looking at the person they are meant to spend the rest of their life with. 

Okay, maybe it wasn't quite like that, but it was actually relatively close.  We were in the same small section and became instant friends.  Almost immediately, we were inseparable--enjoying long walks along Woods Creek, studying together, hiking, and making frequent late night trips to WalMart (there weren't many options in Lexington).  Regarding the reality of our first meeting, Thomas came up to me and asked if I was from California.  He was looking for a friend who was from the West, since most of our classmates, myself included, were Easterns.  He had me confused with another girl in the class.  I told him I was from Florida, but that I had gone to school in Utah.  That was close enough for him.  Thomas has since told me that he knew I wasn't  from California and that he just wanted to talk to me (not much of a pick-up line).  But, I don't believe him.  I like to say that once he found out my real hometown, the relationship was cemented: Thomas is a huge baseball fan, and my family lives 30 minutes away from where his favorite team has their Spring Training.  So, it was probably for the best that I wasn't who he thought I was.

Our first date was to the Smithsonian in DC.  I had to take a friend to the airport and asked if anyone wanted to come along.  Thomas was anxious to see the city and agreed to keep me company. We visited the National Museums of Art and American History.  I vividly remember thinking how amazing it was that we got along so well, as if we had known each other forever.  We spent a very long day together and after that I knew there was something truly unique about our relationship.  As a sidenote, it has to be mentioned that both of us had recently been dumped; neither one of us thought we were ready to get involved with someone new.  But, as cliche as it sounds, it really was just meant to be. 

We started spending almost all our time together.  On the weekends, we would drive to Roanoke to walk around the mall or see a movie.  We tried out Cracker Barrel, which instantly became, and still is, "our restaurant".  During our second year school, our class had a party to celebrate being "over the hump," meaning we were halfway done with law school.  The class gave everyone a label (i.e. most likely to advertise on the side of a bus or most likely to be sanctioned by his state bar for cavorting with a client).  Thomas and I had to share a title, "most likely to always be within 5 feet of each other."  That pretty much sums up the three years of school.

Onto the wedding:  We got engaged in our second year.  Thomas proposed on a wooden bridge in Buchanan, Virginia, and we were married 6 months later, over Thanksgiving Break.  Initially, we planned on getting married after graduation.  However, at that point we knew were joining the Navy and I wanted to put all my paperwork in my married name.  Also, Thomas' grandparents had married in late November and their marriage was a great example to Thomas.  So, we cancelled all of the carefully planned arrangements and decided to get married outside in my parents' neighborhood.  It was a low-budget, low-key wedding.  We drove to Florida after classes the weekend before the wedding.  We got married on the Friday morning after Thanksgiving.  After a luncheon, with about 30 friends and family, we drove to Orlando and had dinner at  Colorado Fondue (which lead to a nice tradition of celebrating anniversaries and good date nights with fondue). The next day, we went to the Mall of Millenium and then headed back to school to wrap up the semester.  After finals, we went on our honeymoon to Couples Resort in Ocho Rios Jamaica. 

We have shared many, many wonderful times since.  A fantastic trip to Vermont for our first anniversary.  A fabulous vacation to Detroit, where we enjoyed the All Star Game hosted by the team that I like to say helped seal the deal on our relationship.   A really fun trip to Utah and Las Vegas to show each other around our college towns.  Mini vacations to Savannah, Atlanta, and Charlottesville.  We have lived together in six different states, and seen the birth of our three wonderful children.  Thomas has been beside me during the most difficult moments of my life and the ones that have brought the greatest joy.  He is an equal partner in every way.  He is a wonderful man and I thank God often that he mistook for the girl who really was from California.

11-28-2003



The bridge where Thomas proposed



Law school graduation: 2004



First anniversary, enjoying the leaves and covered bridges in Vermont



Detriot Trip, 2005

Hoover Dam, 2006

Jack's Food Challenge

As I have written before, Jack has food allergies.  Specifically, eggs, peanuts, and shellfish.  We discovered the egg and peanut allergies around the time he turned 1 and we introduced the foods.  With eggs, he got a very bright, red, hive-like rash around his mouth (up to his nose, down to his chin).  With peanuts, he got hives over his entire body.  We never introduced shellfish, they randomly tested him for it, along with the other common food allergens and we got a positive. We were told he would most likely outgrow the egg allergy, but probably not the peanut.  I started researching food allergies and learned that, contrary to the old school of thought, not every child outgrew egg and some children (around 15%) did outgrow peanut.  He was diagnosed 3 years ago, so we've been wondering what course his body would take ever since.

His pediatrician in Virginia made the diagnosis, based on our reports (and one ER trip after the peanut exposure--when I say covered in hives, I mean covered in hives).  We first saw a pediatric allergist when he turned 2, at the time we were living in Tennessee and used the University of Memphis medical system.  They performed the skin tests to determine if he was actually allergic.  He was.  His wheel for peanuts was huge, they cleaned it off well before the time was up.  For those who are curious, they draw a grid on the back, test for all the things that you might be allergic to (Jack had about 12, including some non-food like dogs (unfortunately, yes) and cats (nope)).  They inject a tiny amount of the allergen under the skin and wait to see if you get a reaction.  Jack had reactions for peanuts, shellfish, dust and dogs.   They didn't test for egg, since he had had multiple exposures to both baked egg (i.e. egg as an ingredient in a muffin) and straight egg and didn't feel like they needed a baseline for that one, plus they said it was better to limit his exposure (he had recently had a reaction after taking a sip of my water after I had eaten some egg).

Enough history.  When we moved to Maryland, I was excited to take him to Johns Hopkins allergy clinic.  They are leaders in the pediatric allergy arena.  They were surprised no RAST had been done.  A low enough RAST score would mean he qualified for a food challenge.  Unfortunately, I lost the paper where I wrote down his RAST scores.  I believe that less than 5 or 6 meant he could take the challenge.  His shellfish was highest at (I think) 4.7.  Egg and peanut were around 2.7 and 2.4 (can't remember which was which, I'll ask next time we go).  According to Wikipedia the 0.70 - 3.49 range translates to "moderate level of allergen specific IgE".  However, it can exceed 100 (in extreme cases, of course).  We were told he qualified for a food challenge for all 3 allergens.  I was super excited.  One of the scariest things about food allergies is you don't know what to expect, every reaction can be different and even though he never had an anaphylactic reaction in the past, didn't mean he wouldn't in the future. 

Jack recently had his baked egg challenge and passed with flying colors.  It took place in a regular exam room.  There were 3 other kids doing challenges at the same time (tree nuts, baked milk, and ?).  Everyone was in a different room.  Jack was all geared-up and anxious to eat his cupcake.  He was MAD when they brought in the first piece, about 1/5th of a cupcake (or about 1/32 of a baked egg).  He was expecting an entire cupcake and at first refused to eat what they gave him, insisting his mom had made him big cupcakes.  Every 15 minutes they brought in another, progressively larger, piece.  His final dose was 1/2 cupcake (1/16th of a baked egg).  Over the course of the challenge he ate 3 cupcakes with no reaction.  That means we can now introduce baked eggs into his diet. There are 4 phases.  Right now, he can have up to 1/4th of a baked egg a day in well-baked form (cookies, muffins, cake).  In 2-3 months, he can have egg in less baked form (pancakes, brownies, casseroles).  If that goes well, 2-3 months later he can have higher egg concentrated items like egg noodles and french toast.

Finally, 2-3 months after that we can try and introduce straight egg.  In 8-12 months Jack could be eating a scrambled egg! 

His peanut and shellfish challenges are scheduled for Feb and March (scheduled in March, so almost a year wait).  We are on the cancellation list for peanut (not allowed for shellfish), so I am hoping we will get in sooner (egg was originally also for February). 

Today is Thanksgiving and among the many things I am thankful for this year is that Jack will be able to enjoy a dessert that has egg as a (minor) ingredient (I am planning a Thanksgiving post at some point).

Sweet and Adorable? NOT!

Most of the things I tend to memorialize are good: cute sayings, fun outings and other happy memories.  But, and this may come as a shock, not everything that happens in our house is fun.  Some days things are just bad.  We had one of those days recently and I thought, just like Fox News, I owe it to my reader (hey Thomas!) to be Fair and Balanced.  Well, maybe not exactly like Fox News...

Here are some highlights from that day (in bullet form for quick reading):

*The girls were up at 6:15, about 90 minutes before their normal wake-up time (thanks time change)
*Jack found the breaker box and proceeded to trip all the switches in the house
* Anna went to timeout approximately 5 times (before nap) for offenses ranging from spitting at me, to hitting, to nonstop whining
*Jack and Anna discovered some eggs in the basement refrigerator.  They proceeded to break all those eggs in the cabinets and refrigerator
*I caught Anna playing with my jewelry box.  I thought I had headed off disaster, but later I noticed my favorite earrings were missing.  Thomas found one (in the basement), the other is still missing.  When I asked her where said earring was she replied, "someplace you'll never find it."  She is right, I still haven't found it (and, she has no idea where it is).
*Kara insisted on wearing underwear, but neglected to use the potty
*Anna raided the pantry and locked herself in the dining room with a bag of cheetos

Uncommonly bad attitudes and overall dissonance just radiated throughout the home for the entire day. There was double the amount of normal whining and crying (and our "normal" amount is far more than what most would probably consider reasonable). It was just difficult.  Some of these things, like the egg incident, could have been prevented with better supervision.  But, in my defense, sometimes you have to make to lunch, or clean soiled clothes, or you just want to sit and read a book with one kid and assume the other two aren't flipping breakers or smashing eggs.  I was seriously ready to call all of my professional contacts to beg for a job.  But, we made it through and the next day was better.  Significantly better in fact.

So, there you have it, the good, the bad, and the ugly.  I'll let you decide who's who.  Just kidding.  I do believe my kids are generally good, or at least I don't think they are bad.  They all have their moments, but who doesn't?  Usually, we get one kid who's having a rough time.  On this particular day, the rough day of one just happened to coincide with that of two and three.  Let's just hope it remains a rare occurrence.

Princesses, Dance, and Stranger Danger

I hope I am not going to be a parent who lives vicariously through my children.  Frankly, I don't see that happening.  My life is pretty good right now and I have no desire to relive my younger years.  (As a side note, I remember a boss telling me how high school gives you the best years of your life.  I am not sure what her high school career was like, but I think that college was better than high school (and I enjoyed high school), grad school was better than college, and then having a job with real money was better than grad school.  I can't wait to see what retirement is like!)  So, the point is, I am happy in my adult life and don't quite understand people who seem to live through their children.  I feel qualified to voice an opinion on the subject, having viewed more than one episode of Toddlers and Tiaras.

But, I do have one big childhood regret. <cue sad music>... I never took dance lessons.  I was given the option once at the age of 11.  But, I was already too self-conscious and politely declined.  I can't even begin to imagine how my life would have been different if only I had said yes to "Intro to Jazz."   Recently, I asked Anna if she wanted to take dance lessons.  She, of course, immediately said yes. Jack wanted to go too, but since he can't manage to pull himself off the floor at Jump Bunch, I told him were going to wait until he was a little older.  He actually seemed to understand and has moved on to wanting to play t-ball.  Back to Anna, I told her that if she could independently follow all the directions at Jump Bunch, I would enroll her in dance.  She did, so I did.  It's only been 2 weeks, but so far she loves it.  She looks so cute in her little pink tutu and I am counting down the months until the big June recital.  We have already previewed the costumes--adorable!

On Saturday, the family went to Princesses on Ice.  We let Kara and Anna dress as princesses.  I told Jack he could wear his Buzz Lightyear costume, but Thomas pulled out a recently purchased (straight from Hawaii!) superhero shirt and he opted for that.  As another side note, my husband owns about 6 superhero t-shirts.  Jack now has 4.  Is this normal?  The show was good and the kids thoroughly enjoyed it.  It kept their attention the entire time and Jack is now asking when we can go see Larry Boy (from Veggie Tales) on Ice.  Unfortunately, there is no such show, but if there was, we would certainly take them.  After Disney on Ice, we went to Red Robin and then out to a big outlet mall in the area.  It was a long, but superfun day.  Thomas' favorite part was when Anna and Kara started dancing at the end.  I like seeing Kara smile and clap, even for the bad guys when the audience was supposed to boo.

Yesterday was playgroup.  On the way to the park, Anna asked what a stranger was.  We had a long conversation about strangers, acquaintances, and friends.  I kept it child-appropriate (I don't want to freak them out) and gave some examples:

Me: If some man at the park comes up to you and says, "my name is Ned, would you like me to push you on the swing," what should you say?

Them: Yes

Me:  Well, is Ned a stranger?

Them: No!

Me:  Ned is a stranger, we don't know anything about Ned.  He may be a nice man, but we don't know him.  Remember, a stranger is someone we don't know.  Even if they tell us their name, and offer to push us on the swings, they are still a stranger. 

What they heard:  blah, blah, swings, blah, blah

Fast forward two hours.  We are at the park.  Jack has mosied himself up to two women trying to enjoy lunch with their children.  I gently try to get him to go somewhere else and play.  He refuses.  Fast forward 20 minutes.  Jack is still there.  By now, these women know his name, his two sisters' names, and he is calling one of them (Cindy) by her name.  He also invited them to his birthday party (in 49 weeks I guess).  When I told them it was time to go and to say goodbye to his friends, he yelled "bye Cindy," forgetting our actual playgroup friends, whom he knows very well and sees on a regular basis.  I think it's genetic and I blame his grandfathers; neither my dad nor Thomas' has ever met a stranger. 

Finally, Thomas and I had a date night Friday.  We went to dinner at Cheeseburger in Paradise and did the Ghost Walk at Summerseat.  It was a fantastic date night.  Anna begged us to go, saying she promised she wouldn't be scared.  Since she was scared when they dimmed the lights at Princesses on Ice, I know we made a wise call.

The Big 04

When Thomas went away in July, we kept telling the kids "Daddy will be home for your birthday."  This sentiment, which led to constant discussions on when exactly their birthday was, combined with a new understanding that birthdays can mean parties meant that we weren't going to get away with a trip to the zoo or cake and ice cream with just the 5 of us.  Actually, I am sure we could have gotten away with just cake and ice cream, but it seemed like a good time for a celebration.  We gave the kids the choice between going to Great Wolf Lodge for a night or having a party with friends.  I was actually extremely confident they would choose Great Wolf Lodge.  I was also extremely wrong.  All three of them (not sure why Kara got a vote, but since it was unamimous, we let it slide) agreed on a backyard party.  I had them convinced that ponies at their party would be the greatest treat ever.  Well, until Jack saw a bouncy house in a nearby backyard.  So, we gave them some choices: pony rides & petting zoo, or bouncy house. 

Anna chose the petting zoo. Jack insisted on a bouncy house. Kara wanted pony rides (again, not sure why she had a vote, but she was pretty vocal on this).  Once upon a time (i.e. a few months ago) I was able to sway them in whatever direction I chose, without them having any idea what I was doing.   Unfortunately, those days are gone.  At least where the party was concerned. I am not sure if the kids are wiser and have caught on to my ways, or they actually felt strongly enough on this one to take a stance.  Regardless, we started talking about this party in July;  in September, they were still holding firm.  Thus, we made an executive decision of having it all (in reality, the "petting zoo" was an add-on to the ponies, but that's neither here nor there).

Today was the day.  I wanted a low-stress, fun, backyard party.  We tried to keep it as simple as possible.  No organized games.  Instead of presents we did a book exchange.  Every kid came with a wrapped book.  Every kid left with an unwrapped one.  And, no gift bags.  As a sidenote, I am not sure who came up with the idea of gift bags for little kids parties, but personally, I think it was a terrible one.  I could write a whole other blog on my rationale for that one, but I'll try and stay focused.

I booked the bouncy house and ponies about a month ago.  Most of the other party preparations took place yesterday (Friday).  For Thomas, that meant spending the entire day in the yard (mowing, pressure washing the playset, weed whacking, etc.).  For me, it involved a lot of shopping and baking of cakes.  The cakes was actually the most stressful part.  Note to self: don't tell everyone you took a cake decorating class, because then you will feel unrealistic pressure to make really nice cakes, even if it means staying up until midnight, and you probably aren't going to be pleased with the results.  Another note to self: when the kids are "helping" bake the cakes, make sure you stay on top of keeping track of things, or you will forget a cup of flour and have to throw an entire (soggy) baked cake away.  Final cake note to self: your handheld beaters are not a Kitchenaid, if you place them on the bowl and walk away, even just 2 steps, they will knock the bowl, and all its gooey contents, to the floor.  As you may surmise, it was a long day of cake baking.

Fortunately, the other food was simple--salad, plain sandwiches, pink lemonade, hotdogs, and chips.  Easy, generally liked by kids (at least my kids, which is how I tend to judge things).  I assumed people weren't expecting a lot on a Saturday morning.  Our friend, Isabel Parker handled all the decorations, which was also wonderful.  Oh, one more "lesson learned" from this party.  We choose 10-12 because I didn't want to interfere with naptime for our toddler friends.  But, I wasn't really thinking about how it's still a tad chilly at 10 and the grass is still wet and it's really kind of early.  Fortunately, it was a beautiful, sunny day, but that could have turned out badly. 

Okay, now the party itself.  I was thrilled that so many of our friends could make it.  The kids seemed to like the bouncy house, the ponies, and our playset.  So, if I had to choose just one, I am not sure which way I'd go (but, probably the bouncy house.  Thomas said the ponies & "zoo").  The two hours flew by, at least for me.  After our friends left, Jack, Anna, Kara and the Reynold's kids (friends who visited from Virginia) played in the bouncy house for another 4.5 hours.   Those kids better sleep tonight!

I really liked the book exchange.  My kids got three great books, which we have already enjoyed reading.  Jack and Anna didn't miss a big pile of presents at all.  I hope they will be as agreeable to the book exchange idea (or something similar) for years to come.  We did, of course, give them gifts on their actual birthday (bikes).  They also got presents from extended family so I don't feel as if they were deprived of anything.

I just asked Anna what she liked best about her party and she said, "my favorite part of the party was when Jewel played hide and seek with me on the bounce house.  And when I jumped inside it."  I asked her if she liked the ponies and she said, "I loved riding Lightening."  Jack said his favorite part was also the bouncy house.  Kara said she enjoyed riding the train.  I am not sure if she is thinking of our trip to Bowles Farm last week, or some game she played today.  Considering no nap, and 7 hours running around outside today, I will cut her some slack. 

One other thing--I made their birthday outfits.  I really want to start sewing.  So, I decided to start with a simple skirt for Anna and a cupcake shirt, and an applique shirt for Jack (he chose the design of a "J" wearing a birthday hat).  It was a little disheartening, I spent hours on Anna's shirt.  Kara's cupcake shirt was $3.50 (on sale) at Target.  Of course, Anna's was made with love.  But, still maybe I should rethink the sewing thing...

In retrospect, there are some things I'd do differently, but overall I am very happy with the way things turned out.  And, I can't believe my little babies are 4!  Since a picture is worth a thousand words, here are some pictures from the party (and one from when Jack and Anna were teeny tiny).

Our little Anna, right around 3 weeks old.

Jack, also around 3 weeks old.

The petting zoo consisted of 3 super soft bunnies and 3 goats.

Jack, Anna and Lily bouncing around

Pony making it's way around the playset

The birthday boy and girl

Kara in her Target birthday shirt

Candles wouldn't light thanks to a gentle breeze, but we still sang Happy Birthday (twice in fact)

Jack with his book exchange book

Thomas is home! Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder and Cake Class Completion

Thomas is home!  We went to the airport on Saturday afternoon to pick him up.  We made a sign and gave him a heroes greeting (talk about garnering attention!).  The picture is of the kids with his actual airplane in the background.  Let me just say that his two-a-day workouts really paid off!  Unfortunately, I left the camera at home, and only had my cell phone to rely on.  And, I was too busy being part of the homecoming to take pictures of it.  Anyway,  it is wonderful to have my husband back.  And, the kids want him to do everything for them, especially Jack and Anna (also wonderful).  It was 4 days before Anna would even let me buckle her in her carseat.  Anna kept asking when he had to go back and is thrilled when he says he is staying home now.  Five days in, it is almost like he never left.  I missed him so much and hope we never go through a long separation again.  Hats off to the military families who do repeated and lengthy deployments!  Unfortunately for him, there were lots of projects around the house waiting;  in his week "off" (before returning to his regular job), he has painted a room, put together a massive bunkbed, and as I type this is out buying a chair rail that he will be putting up in the next day or two. 

Like most mothers, I think my kids are cute (what 2 and 3 year old isn't?).  Kara still garners a lot of attention when we are out in public.  People like to say hello to her, they ask her how old she is, make faces at her, tell me how adorable she is etc.  We rarely go anywhere without at least one person talking to her and multiple people smiling and/or waving.  (On a sidenote, Jack and Anna received the same attention when they were younger, but not as much now, I guess people are just drawn to babies/toddlers). 

Recently, Kara got a rash on her face.  We believe it was poison ivy.  And, I noticed something.  When we were out, people weren't talking to her and almost no one even smiled in her direction.  Most people actually avoided eye contact.  It was sad for me.  I realized that because she didn't appear as cute, most people didn't notice her adorable, happy personality.  I am glad the rash has faded and she is back to strangers playing peek-a-boo with her (last night at Lowe's), but I wish that as a society we didn't put so much emphasis on what someone looks like.  She didn't notice the rash, she didn't act any differently, but people around us did.  I am also confident people weren't conscious of what they were doing.  It was strange to observe. 

I had my last basic cake decorating class last night.  The pictures show from week 1 to week 4.  I am signed up to take the second class and I think that will be plenty for me.  Cake decorating is definitely not my life's calling, not that I ever thought it was.  I enjoyed the class, but it was a lot of work prepping for each week and I am not so sure the "reward" was worth the effort.  I let Jack and Anna each choose a cake from the beginners book, which I told them I will make for their birthday.  Jack chose a hamburger cake and Anna wanted the "flowering mums" cake.  So, those were my two practice cakes.  Those who attend the kid's birthday party next week will be able to see, and taste, the fruits of my labor. 

I am so glad that this long summer is over and life is returning to normal! 

My Foray into Single Parenting

On June 27th I started a job that was to last for 3-months.  On July 5th we found out that Thomas was going to be working in Hawaii for 80+ days.   Five days later he was gone and my adventure as a single, working mother began.  Unlike the majority of single mothers (I am assuming majority), I was able to hire someone to come to our home each day.  With a toddler and two preschoolers, financially it was probably pretty close to the same as sending them to daycare.  However, it certainly made my life much easier.  When Thomas and I worked the thing that I hated the most was waking up an obviously tired child to hurriedly feed, dress, and transport them to daycare.  Once there, they would frequently beg me not to leave them.  But, I did leave them.  Granted, most days they were excited to see their teachers and friends and it was an excellent program...  Hey!  I don't need to justify myself to you.  Let's just say it was nice having a babysitter they adored.  In fact, some days I found myself wishing they would beg me not to leave them.

Back on track: single parenting.  We dropped Thomas off at the airport on Sunday, July 11.  Jack and Anna understood what was happening.  We thought Kara did.  But, when I put her to bed that night, she asked, "Daddy tuck me in when he gets home?"  It was heartbreaking.  She asked for several days if she was going to see him.  And, got very sad when she would hear his voice.  She still cries for him occassionally, and sometimes, particularly when she's mad at me, she'll woefully say, "I miss my Daddy; he's never coming home <big sigh>."  Jack, I suspect, is angry at Thomas.  He'll spontaneously mention missing him, and if we do fill-in-the-blank stories, Jack always injects a Daddy plotline, but sometimes he refuses to talk to him on the phone.  Anna is always ready to have a conversation.  She has enjoyed checking the days off on a calendar and is secure in the knowledge that Daddy will be home before her birthday.

For me, it has been trying.  Someone said recently in a Sunday School class that having children taught them patience.  Having children taught me that I don't have a lot of patience.  Being a single, working parent taught me that I have no patience.  When I get home from work I really want to spend time with them, but I have trouble getting my mind to enjoy the moment and stop focusing on everything else I need to get done.  And, things that previously were only slight annoyances are now major irriations (like why they insist on playing with my deodarant? no matter where I put it they find it and move it).  But, lest this turn into a whining session, here are the things I like about going it alone: when I do watch t.v., no one questions my choices.  I can get away with not cooking (a real) dinner.  I don't feel (as) guilty about a messy house.  I can splay across the bed in whatever fashion I choose.   Hmm, that's all I can come up with.

Now, what I like the least.  Ummm, just kidding.  I don't even want to get into that.  Okay, actually I did get into that, but it was like six paragraphs long and I don't like how I sounded.  So, I've deleted all that and I'll sum it up with: a whole lot less free time.

For me this is temporary.  Thomas will be home, I'll stop working and life will return to "normal".  It hasn't been all bad.  It's been nice having two incomes. And, I did learn a lot.  I feel more grateful for the quality time I do have with my children.  This has also been a powerful reminder of what an obscenely outstanding husband and father Thomas is.  Finally, the support of my friends has been wonderful.  It is hard to be away from family.  I would never feel bad about calling up my sister and saying, "Kim, take these monsters; I just need an hour.  Please.  Help me."  But, it is harder to say that to friends.  So, it has been nice to have friends who invited us over and kept our weekends full and fun.  And for the friends currently staying with us that just take the kids outside or for an ice cream cone, without my even asking/begging.  Finally, thank goodness for reliable, good childcare.  Our amazing babysitter even went shopping with us in her off time.  How many people go it "alone" with that kind of support?