My Mother.

I can remember being 4 or 5 and praying to God, asking Him for a real baby to take care of. The next day I was really scared because I was sure He was going to grant my request. I quickly prayed again, this time telling Him "never mind." That is my first memory of wanting to be a mom.

My own mother was simply wonderful. She was honest, patient and kind. She exemplified what a mother should be like. On this Mother's Day, I pay tribute with some of my favorite memories (in no particular order):

1. Before I left for college, my mother told me, "you are going to college to study and learn, but also to have fun. Don't sacrifice either one of those things for the other." It was really good advice. Sometimes a path may have seemingly contrasting purposes, but that doesn't mean you can't prioritize and enjoy.

2. Her advice that when baking, one should only use real vanilla. This advice was given to me as a young teenager. I listened to her advice and even as a poor college student only bought the real stuff. Years later, we were shopping together and vanilla was on her list. I handed her the expensive bottle and she said, "this is way too expensive, give me the imitation." I asked her about her great baking advice and told her how I had followed it for years and years. She said, "oh, I was wrong." I still laugh about that one whenever I buy vanilla (imitation of course).

3. "It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness." This and other well-placed quotes were often given in our home (I think having an English background aided her in this). This one was uttered with perfect timing while she was in the midst of an argument with my father over something small (I believe it was over the cluttered countertops). I can still picture the look on my dad's face.

4. Shortly after I learned to drive I ran over one of the sprinklers in our front yard. They didn't work and it probably wasn't that big of a deal. A few hours later, my mother noticed and asked if I did it. I said, no, I didn't.  I am not sure why I said no, but it was a lie that I was now caught in. She pointed out the evidence (i.e. the car I had driven still sitting there). I insisisted I hadn't done it. I could tell she knew I was lying. But, she let it go. For some reason, I have always appreciated her not calling me out on this. It was stupid. I knew it was stupid. It has stuck with me for years and I wish I could apologize for that lie.

5. When I had the twins I was on hospital bedrest for a month. My parents called me every night. Even though we talked everyday and my routine had little to no variation, my mom and I would usually find something good to talk about, sometimes at length. I know she had better things to do, but she always made me feel like I was a priority. I don't really like talking on the phone, but I always enjoyed talking to my mom and those phone calls are a great memory from that time.

6. As an adult, I once asked her what age for her children she enjoyed the most. She thought for a minutes and said, "I can't pick one. There was something great about each stage and I always enjoyed whichever one you kids were in." I could tell she meant it. How great is that? It made me feel really loved. I hope I can enjoy my children at every age. Maybe that is part of not cursing the darkness? I am sure she would have an apropos quote.

Although these memories probably seem insignificant to most and are certainly not a proper tribute to a woman who exemplified so many positive traits, they are what come to mind now. She encouraged me in everything I did and always believed I could do and be anything. So, I hope now that God has granted my request, I can become the kind of mother she was. I miss her everyday.