Kids Say the Darndest Things

Remember Bill Cosby's show and how clever those little kids seemed. Where did they come up with that stuff??? Did their parents coach them? Were they just really precocious? Now that I have children of my own I have realized that kids are just plain funny. You cannot predict the things that will come out of their mouths. All you can do is stare in amazement, look at the person sitting next to you and wonder, did I hear that correctly?

So, in honor of my children, here are some of my favorites from this week.

While riding in the car:
Anna (with anger): Mom, give me back that toy.
Me: Anna, I can't reach it. No.
Anna (more anger): Mom, if you don't give me back that toy NOW, I am going to move out of your house.
Me: Really? Where would you go?
Anna (still very angry): To a castle very far away.
Me: A castle? That sounds nice. Can I come with you??
Anna (now happy): YES! It will be so fun!!!

Jack, Anna, and Kara at various times this week (spoken with venom): "You're a coffee cat!" (they mean copy cat, not that that makes any more sense in the context they use it...)

While in car:
Jack (loudly): When this car stops, I'm going to hit you.
Kara (shrieking): I hit you now.
Jack: NO! You can't reach me when you are in the carseat, you have to wait until the car stops.
Kara: Oh. Okay.

Jack, on a toy phone: Hi Daddy.
Jack in Daddy voice: Hi Jack, how are you?
Anna: I want to talk to Daddy.
Jack, putting hand over phone to block out noise: No! I am talking to Daddy. You can call him later.
Anna (crying): I need to tell him something. Let me talk to Daddy.
Me: You realize it's a toy phone, right?
Jack (ignoring me): Anna, be quiet, I'm on the phone.
Anna: (still crying and also ignoring me): I want to talk to Daddy.
Me: exit room.

Scene: Kara crying in car, overly tired, probably hungry.
Anna (thoughtfully): Mom, I don't really like Kara anymore. Let's give her to someone else.
Jack: No, Anna! I would miss her.
Long conversation about how we are not giving anyone away.
Later that day:
Anna: Kara is my best friend.

At swim lessons:
Swim Coach: Your three-year old is trying to reason with me. She's explaining why she shouldn't have to put her head in the water.

Anna praying: God bless everyone and everything. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Jack: praying, getting a little too winded for Kara's sake.
Kara (whispering): say Amen.
Jack continues to pray.
Kara (louder whisper): say Amen.
Repeat. (I believe is a leftover habit from when our kids needed coaching. Now, Kara assumes that if someone talks too long, they have forgotten how to end the prayer and need her help.)

Without tone of voice or facial expressions, I imagine it is hard to truly picture these interactions. Certainly, they don't seem as funny when I read them. But, the kids make me laugh and for that I am thankful. I have said more than once that the best thing about having three so close together is watching their interactions with each other. We may not make the cut for Bill Cosby, but I sure find them entertaining!