Kara and Sleep Deprivation

Once upon a time our children happily went to bed. They did not fight or fuss. They accepted that it was bedtime, enjoyed their story and song and quietly drifted off to sleep. Sure, we had our trials with them as babies, but nothing overly difficult. Then, something happened. Perhaps with increasing self-awareness came the knowledge that bedtime was not fun. That something good could be happening in the living room while they were relegated to the dark corners of their (night-lit) bedrooms. Procrastination techniques crept into the routine. Arguments ensued over whose turn it was to say the family prayer, pick the book, sleep with the book, and use the bathroom first (arguing that it should NOT be them on the last one). The older two would somewhat listen to reason (translate: threats). But Kara, my sweet, sweet, Kara turned into a little bedtime demon.

Almost from birth, Kara would only wake up once in the night (contrasted with Jack and Anna who wanted to eat every 3 hours regardless of the sun’s position). Unfortunately, at the age of 2, she was still waking up once in the night. Sometimes she wanted to be covered, mostly she just wanted to know someone was there (and thus available at her every beck and call). At 2.5, she still cries out occasionally, but that is pretty well under control. But, getting her to bed—well, that’s another story. In fact, that is the story of this blog.

Last night, I had Book Club. I love going to Book Club. I enjoy the books we read and the company of the other ladies who read them. The added bonus yesterday was that someone else got to put the kids to bed. I got home around 9:20, hoping they would all be asleep. The babysitter said she thought they were and the house was certainly quiet. So, I did what any parent would do, I went in to see my sleeping darlings. However, the darlings were not all sleeping. The girls were awake. They were lying quietly and seemingly contentedly…until they saw me. Then, it happened. “I’m thirsty. I need my white blanket. I can’t find my library book. You didn’t hug me, etc.” I got out of there as fast as I could, promising them I would bring in a cup of water if they laid quietly for 10 minutes. The “10-minutes for some water” works with the older two. But, not Kara. I have yet to find what will work with Kara.

However, now I had a strategy. After speaking with my SuperNanny-watching-friend, I put the following plan into play: the first time Kara got up, I spoke with her quietly and led her back to her room. After that, it was no talking, just back to the room. Kara caught on pretty easily to what was happening and she quickly upped her game. The “Mama, Mama” cries became shrill shrieks. Around 10, I decided I wanted to go to bed. Kara was in the hallway, so I silently put her back in her bed, went in my room and closed the door. A few minutes later, her cries are clearly outside my door and her little hand is poking underneath. She is begging for a hug. I put her back in bed. She comes out again, this time pleading with me to “please hold me like a little baby, please Mama.” Keep in mind, all of this is done in a (very) loud cry. I put her back in bed. I decide to ignore her for a little while. So, she ups the anty: “Mama, I poopy Mama. Come change me. Please Mama, change me.” There is no poop; I put her back to bed. Then, it’s, “I have to tell you something.” I put her back to bed.

The whole thing lasted until about 1015, so not quite an hour from the time we started. I will continue the SuperNanny strategy tonight and see what happens. I have to admit that I was impressed with Kara’s ingenuity, particularly the poopy scam. And, it is hard for me to not give in and just hold her for a few minutes. But, I’ve done that and it doesn’t put her to sleep, it leads to more requests for time-draining moments. I am told at least once a week to enjoy them while they are young. I genuinely try to keep this in mind. However, I would really like to do it on a full night’s sleep.