Friday, June 29, 2012

Nostalgia and Sadness

On Sunday, June 17th, I flew up to Providence to attend a course at the Naval Justice School in Newport, RI.  Since classes usually start early on Monday mornings, students generally fly in the day before.  My choices for direct flights allowed me to get in at 1123AM or 8PM.  I chose the morning flight and excitedly began to plan out what I would do when I got into town.

Going to Newport is always fun because until about age 10 (except for a brief stint in Utah), I grew up just across the border in Massachusetts.  So, I like to go there and drive by the old haunts; since I was 10 when we left, that basically means my old houses, the mall and my grandmother's house.  This time, I had a new sight to visit--my mother's grave.  My mother died of breast cancer in January 2008.  And, this was going to be my first visit to the cemetery.  She died in Florida, surrounded by her family and then my Aunt had her remains buried in Westport, MA.  My mother loved living in Westport, she would ride her bike on 20-mile rides, taking in some of the most scenic vistas in the country, at least in my (biased) opinion.  The cemetery is just a couple of miles from a house we lived in and I still remember getting ice cream at the creamery that is almost directly across the street.  In other words, I think she would hardily approve the burial choice.

So, the first thing I wanted to do when getting into town was visit my mother.  I rented a car and headed to Westport.  I stopped in at Handy Hill (the previously mentioned creamery) to get an ice cream cone before beginning the hunt for my mother's grave.  Going to Handy Hill is fun, I can remember going there often as a child.  I love that they call sprinkles, "jimmies".  I think I am going to have to bring that term back into my house.  It didn't appear that the place has changed much, it still looked like a local's favorite, particularly for people heading home from the beach.  After my peppermint patty cone, I went across the street to find my mother.  My dad has visited her, so I called him for assistance in finding the site.  It was Father's Day, so the place was pretty crowded.  Eventually, I did find her grave.  It was nice to sit down and talk.  I think about her every day, but I don't often just talk to her.



After I finished at the cemetery it was around 1pm so I decided to go to lunch.  My dad highly recommended a place called Evelyn's.  A quick internet search revealed that it had been featured on "Diners, Drive-In's, and Dives," and was relatively close to where I was.  Since I needed some cheering up, some nice New England seafood seemed like the way to go.  I got a clam roll and some clam cakes and sat by the water to enjoy my meal.  You can tell where my priorities were--I took a picture of the clam roll, but not the harbor.  After lunch I headed off to Newport.



The class was good; I learned a lot.  I also went out and ate a lot of seafood (more clams and some lobster).  Thomas and I spent five months training in Newport after law school.  My favorite thing about the base was the running trail that goes around the perimeter.  While we were there the first time, Thomas ruptured his calf.  There wasn't much he could do for the last 3 months and to get out of our hotel room, I spent a lot of time running.  I got to the point where I could easily do 5-miles in 45-minutes and I loved how that felt.  I can no longer run like that, but I still looked forward to doing a walk/jog combo.  The trail takes you down by the Saratoga (an old carrier) and I just love to imagine the history and the tens of thousands of people who lived and served on the ship.  Anyway, to help combat all the fried clams, I ran each morning and went for walks most nights.  Another big "nostalgia" point for me was eating in the galley.  I went there for dinner one night and loved seeing all the training companies.  There were several ODS groups (when I went there it was OIS--Officer Indoctrination Schools, but same thing) and just like we did, they had to stand reviewing their little books until the last member of the company had their food, then they all sat together and ate in silence while the Chief set the 15-minute timer.  One company was doing push-ups out in the grass before coming in (someone probably called the Chief "Sir").  I was glad it was them and not me (see August 2011 post entitled "The Longest 6 Weeks of my Life" for more info).  Anyway, it was fun thinking of myself being there 8 years ago and all that has changed since.

The class ended on Friday at noon and my flight didn't leave until 5.  So, I decided to do some more driving.  I first stopped and picked up some flowers to bring to my mom.  It was fun looking for flowers, almost like she was still alive.  I chose the ones I thought she would like best (lots of purple--her favorite color) and went back to the cemetery.  I said my goodbyes and stopped again at Handy Hill and had another ice cream and a lobster roll.  My mom would have appreciated all the ice cream and seafood I consumed that week  :)

After the cemetery, I still had plenty of time, so I drove past 2 more houses we used to live in and my grandmother's old house.  I was saddened to see that one of the houses has been abandoned and taken over by vegetation.  I thought about my brother and I eating raspberries off the bushes around that house and playing in the woods.  I remember "running away" and camping out in the back yard.  I remember playing on an old swingset and waiting for the school bus. The memories are stagnant, but time just marches on around them.  I still feel almost like I should still be a kid when I am there, instead I am mother to 3 kids of my own.  It was a very visual reminder that my mother is gone and I haven't been a child for a long time.



After that, I went down around the mall area.  Every time I visit (the last time was 5 years ago) there are more and more chain stores.  I hope that they don't eventually force the little guys, like Handy Hill and Evelyn's, out of business.  I love the history of the area and the old houses and the stone walls that were built centuries ago.  Those places still exist, and I hope that the commercial growth stays confined to its current corridor.

My final stop was Battle Ship Cove, which is in Fall River, MA.  They have several decommissioned ships that you can visit and neat museums nearby.  The last time I was there, also for a course in Newport, my sister's family and my mother had come up for a vacation.  I spent the weekend after my course with them and among other things, we went Letter Boxing at the park overlooking the Cove.  More bittersweet memories.

I've been here lots of time, both as a kid and an adult.  Always fun.

Finally, I went to the airport.  My plane ended up being delayed about 5 hours, but I did make it home that night.  Ultimately, it was a good trip.  Although this blog seemed to focus a little more on the sadness, I am grateful for so many happy memories.

Saturday, June 23, 2012

Our Tony Danza...err Tiny Dancer

Last week was the culmination of 9 months of dance lessons for Anna.  Two months before her recital, I went into her class and filmed her tap routine.  She used this video to practice in the weeks before the recital.  I asked her to do the routine at least twice every day (which was about 5 minutes of practice, 10 if she allowed me to help her).  A Tiger Mother, I am not.

After all that practicing, she was very excited to show off at her recital.  I was less excited, not because I didn't want to see her dance, but because the logistics were a little difficult.  The recital was at Calvert High School, a 35-minute drive.  And, there were dress rehearsals the 2-nights before the 2-night recital. There was one night for her ballet routine (Act II) and one night for her tap (Act IV).  That made for a lot of driving across county lines.  I sneaked in the first night of rehearsals and was dismayed that Anna didn't dance at all.  Instead, she just stood there, checking out the scenery.  In particular, she was fascinated by a giant mushroom (it was an Alice in Wonderland Theme).  The second night, they enforced the "no parents allowed" rule, so I was not sure how tap went.

On Friday night, we decided to get there early to get a good seat.  The 6 of us (Chaiya, our favorite babysitter came to support Anna) arrived at the theater around 5:30 (for a 6:00 start time) and the place was packed!  At $15/ticket, this appeared to be a big money maker.  Anna did fantastic!  We were very proud of her--there was no stage fright.  At one point, she did turn and pause for a minute to look at the backdrop, but then she got right back into it.  It was fun to see all the dances.  I was a little disheartened at the inappropriateness of many routines.  If you have to bleep out lyrics, you probably shouldn't be playing it at a children's dance recital.  At least in my (unsolicited) opinion.

We left after Anna's tap routine.  It was already almost 9 and well past the kids' bedtime.  Jack and Kara (and Thomas) held up surprisingly well, but we all had had enough by that point.

The next night, I was just going to take her.  But, everyone seemed very disappointed with that, so we decided everyone would go.  This was the important night--the professional videographer was there.  We weren't allowed to take any pictures or video in the auditorium, so I was hopeful that Anna would repeat her stellar performance from the night before.  We got there around 6, and the place was even more crowded than the night before.  One benefit of that was we sat in the back row with a large open space behind us.  The girls spent the night, at least when Anna wasn't on stage, dancing along.  In fact, they have been dancing ever since the recital.  They asked Thomas to set up the toy piano and they will turn on the music and just dance and dance.  They are both excited to be taking a summer class together in July.

Back to the recital: when ballet came, they lined them up and Anna was directly behind a girl who is at least a foot taller than Anna.  I know I am prone to exaggeration, but I am being literal here--Anna is a small 4-year old, she was behind an off-the-charts 5-year old (that is from her mom, she is off the growth charts).  At one point,  I went and stood behind cameraman to see what he was capturing and it was like she wasn't even there.  You could not see her at all.  I was mad!  I consoled myself with the thought that at least in the tap routine, they stand in a single line.  So, you can imagine my surprise (and irritation) when they came on stage in two rows.  Oh, and guess who was in the second row?  And, who do you think she was standing behind??  They lined the kids up as if they were doing the ballet routine and not tap.  This time, it wasn't quite as bad, so I am hoping that we at least got some of this routine.  However, after all that time and effort, I was still irritated that we weren't going to get a good video of Anna.  But, she did well, and I tried to hide my disappointment.  She could see I was upset and I told her it was because I couldn't see her very well.  Her adorable response, "that's okay Mommy, I will do the dance for you tomorrow at home."



Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Dentist, Soccer, Blue Crabs, and Cowboy Boots

Another busy weekend.  Friday, we took the kids to the dentist.  It wasn't their fist visit ever, but it was the first visit in over a year, meaning they didn't have much memory of what to expect.  The kids did really well.  They all cooperated and there were no cavities or other problems.  However, I was disheartened to hear the dentist's suggestion that parents brush their kids' teeth until kids are 8 or 9!   I was thinking another year or so and we could pass the brush on.  We are letting them brush themselves after lunch, because it's good practice for them and it is not the most important cleaning of the day.  I am not wishing away the years, but there are a few things I have been anxious for them to be able to do on their own: be potty trained (check!); use the bathroom alone in public places; sit in a booster and buckle themselves; and brush their own teeth.  A relatively short-list.  Some of the things I currently miss: the toothless grin and inarticulate speech (i.e. "call me Kawa".  Actually, Kawa still talks a bit this way, so it isn't completely gone... yet).  Of course, there are still lots and lots of things to enjoy: holding their hands, holding them on our laps, kissing boo boos, being their favorite playmates, watching them experience more "firsts" (like the first day of school and vacations to new places); etc.  The longest list is definitely the one of things left to enjoy.  It's good to be at this stage in life.



Because they didn't have any cavities, they got to take a picture with Flossy and have their picture put on the wall.
Okay, back to the facts.  Saturday, we had our air conditioner replaced.  We spent a warm week without air and were glad to have it fixed. Of course, we were not glad it went out in the first place.  We had just spent almost $500 having freon added (or whatever it is called for a heat pump) and I was hoping the unit was going to last a few more years. Instead, it lasted a day.  It was a week of back-and-forth (can they fix it?  will it remain broke forever?  tune in tomorrow when we will see if part A will provide the magical fix. spoiler-it doesn't).

We also had our second-to-last soccer game Saturday.  Thomas had to do his PHA at Andrews, so it was just me and the kids.  I was impressed with how much better they played.  It is always fun to see progress.  I brought the camera and got some nice pictures.  It would have been nicer if I thought to do it while Thomas was coaching, but I didn't want to wait until the last week--just in case someone is sick or something.  So, hopefully, I will get more pictures next Saturday with the kids and their coach.


Apologies to Coach Paul for cutting off his head.

Sunday, we went to a Blue Crabs game.  It was not at all crowded and the Playzone is free on Sundays.  Thomas and I had wanted to go to a Nationals game this weekend; we were planning on having a babysitter watch the kids Saturday night so we could actually enjoy the game and the concert afterward.  But, with the air conditioner expense we decided to forgo those plans.  Since kids are free (on the berm), the whole family can see a Blue Crabs game for $12.  We had a great time and made it through 7.5 innings.  We could have made it to the end, but it was getting close to dinner time and the kids were pretty restless.  Also, the Blue Crabs were losing 7-0.





That about wraps things up.  In other news, my sister has graciously agreed to try her hand at the Drizella costume.  So, Kara will not be disappointed.  And, having something made by an Aunt is just as good as one made by a Mommy, so we still get to have the "made with love" factor.  A few more pictures, because I can't resist.  A few weeks ago, their Great Grandma sent them the cutest cowboy books, which they now wear randomly.

I am not sure why Jack was on Anna's bike with her helmet...


The world's longest french fry?

I thought this would be a quick one, but it always takes so long to organize and find the pictures (usually a combination of my phone, the camera, and Thomas' phone).