Thanks for Nothing, Facebook! A Good Reminder for Me.

Our neighborhood has a ladies only Facebook page. We use this page to give stuff away, alert each other to concerns (i.e. strange cars afoot, solicitors peddling vacuums, etc.), and lately--to complain. Kids are in yards they shouldn't be in, dogs are barking too much, unknown teenagers are playing basketball, etc. Some of it is valid, and should be addressed to the wide audience, but some of it could be addressed in person privately. I myself was guilty of an infraction last week when I asked if anyone else was being bothered by barking dogs.

Then, yesterday, I became a "victim". Our back yard shares a border with 4 different yards. One of these yards has two puppies that keep escaping. The first time this happened (that we are aware of) we were inside eating breakfast when the kids saw them in our yard. We stopped what we were doing and spent about 40 minutes chasing them down, getting in touch with the owners and making sure they were okay. The next time it happened, we were all outside. My kids were playing with some other kids on our playset. Another neighbor had stopped by to chat with her dog on a leash. None of the kids were interacting with the dogs, and we were not anywhere near the fence, but the excitement was just too much and her dogs worked their way out. Again, we gave chase and returned them. The third time, we weren't even home. The fourth time the kids were in the backyard (again, not interacting in anyway with the dogs). Another neighbor chased them down. 

Yesterday, my kids were in the backyard when the dogs came outside. Kara ran over to their fence and started talking to them. My kids are guilty of occasionally doing this, however, it only began after they spent all that time chasing them and it doesn't happen frequently. Thomas saw what she was doing and remarked that we would need to talk with the kids about leaving the dogs alone, since we don't want to entice them to escape.

Fifteen minutes later, my phone starts going off with text messages asking what was going on and telling me to check Facebook. The owner of the dogs posted a message on the page stating that the reason her dogs keep getting out is that the kids in our yard are calling them and pulling on the fence. She asked that parents talk to the children who play in that yard and stated she had "picture evidence." I was livid! I immediately responded that I would talk with my kids, but I pointed out that there are holes in the fence where the kids don't go (we all border a little pond and one area of her fence borders a very tall weed line adjacent to the pond where no kids play); that the dogs have escaped when no kids are present; and that I have personally seen the dogs get out when the kids were not interacting with them in any way. I didn't mention this, but Thomas also pointed out that all the houses we border have dogs and none of them escape. The previous owner of her house had dogs, they never got out. We both felt it was very unfair of her to blame their behavior on our children.

I spent the evening fuming. How dare she publicly shame my family? Why couldn't she just knock on my door and talk to me? Or, why not talk to the kids instead of taking pictures? She could have even sent a text, she had my number from the times I tracked her down to let her know her dogs were out. The kids were also mad, they promised that they have never "pulled on her fence." I believe them, because we are generally with them and Thomas had witnessed the same incident they saw that led to the post (an assumption based on the timing). However, they were guilty of talking to the dogs, which was a valid point to be addressed. 

After I was done fuming, I thought about it from her perspective. They are stressed because their dogs keep getting out. Another neighbor told her that people were threatening to call animal control. She sees my kid standing at the fence talking to the dog. It is a fair assumption. But, we have been friendly with this neighbor, their daughter (who is only 3 or 4) occasionally comes into our yard to play. There was no reason she couldn't have addressed it to me personally. Facebook and other electronic conveniences have made it easy to avoid human interaction, and this has lead to hurt feelings and anger (on both sides, I am guessing).

After an evening of reflection, I recognized the times I have been guilty of something similar, like my passive aggressive post about barking dogs. And, this was a reminder for me to personally do better. At one point in my younger years I was the victim of a vicious rumor. Like most gossip, there was a kernel of truth, but the story that got told eventually far exceeded the actual offense. At that point, I swore that I would never take part in gossip. I would actively avoid hearing it and I would never spread it. My further reflection showed that I am not as vigilant as I once was and that I need to do better. I understand where my neighbor was coming from and I am hoping the matter is resolved. I wish I had taken a higher road by simply knocking on her door and addressing it personally. With time, cooler heads will generally prevail and I should have waited. Hopefully, there will not be a next time, but if there is, perhaps I will be reminded of this and handle things better.

So, this is my public posting of frustration and realization. ;)

The Election of 2016

This post will probably be a little bit unusual for me. I tend to write about our every day lives as a way to memorialize moments for our family. However, I think one day my kids (and maybe an older me) will enjoy reading how I felt about other topics,so occasionally I branch out. Like today.

My mom was a pretty political person. In her college years, she was a staunch Democrat who campaigned for JFK. She grew a bit more conservative as she got older, but always enjoyed a good debate. I remember my first Presidential election in 1996, I was the only kid still at home and my parents and I were a house divided. The three of us cancelled each other out when one of us voted for Clinton, one for Dole and another for Perot. I enjoyed our spirited dinner conversations and the excitement of voting in my first election.

I haven't missed a Presidential election since. Some of my votes have been mailed in, thanks to military service. And, I didn't always vote in the the "lessor" elections, mainly because I felt out of touch being a resident of one state while living and working in another. This most recent election was the only one that (literally) kept me awake at night. I honestly could not fathom supporting either candidate. I wanted to like Donald Trump, I did like that he wasn't a career politician (although, some political experience would have been nice). But, I felt like he was also a misogynistic, despicable person. He lost me sometime in the summer after one too many awful comments. In my opinion, Hillary Clinton was only slightly better. I did not believe she was a good Secretary of State, I found the e-mail scandal horrendous (I knew people taken to NJP for less serious infractions involving classified material) and found many of the dealings of the Clinton Foundation morally questionable. So, what's a person to do? In the end, I voted for neither. However, I was hoping Clinton would win. To me, she was the lessor of two evils. I thought a Clinton Presidency would mean 4 more years of an administration similar to President Obama, which I could live with and then we could try again with two new, better candidates in 2020.

Thomas and I watched the news reports on election night together until about 10pm, when I went to bed. It looked as though Trump was going to win Florida and I just knew that was going to be the beginning of the end. Thomas was 100% certain that Clinton was going to win. He came up to bed at 2am and I awoke to ask the outcome. He told me, in a rather incredulous manner, that Donald Trump was to be our 45th President. I couldn't sleep for the rest of the night. I laid awake and thought about what this meant for our country. Although I am a registered Republican, there are some issues where I definitely lean Democratic--climate change probably being the biggest. I thought about what this meant for the Earth. I thought about what this meant for the United States internationally, and of course I thought about how it would effect the everyday lives of Americans here in our own country. None of my thoughts were pleasant.

In the following days, when I read who Trump was considering for the leaders in his Presidency, it read like a veritable Who's Who of the (Republican) Politicians I least admire--Rudy Guiliani, Chris Christie and Newt Gingrich. I told Thomas the only way it could be worse was if we threw in Sarah Palin, which they did the next day. Of course, nothing is set in stone, as the cabinet is still to be determined.

However, now that we are almost a week removed, I am choosing to be positive. It is beyond my control and I refuse to wallow in misery for the next four years. I obviously do not wish for President Elect Trump to fail. Rather, I hope that somehow he will miraculously unite our country and bring us 4 good years. Although many would say I am being foolish, I can't believe it is any more foolish than if you had told me, or anyone else for that matter, a year ago that he would actually be elected.

On a lighter note, the older kids were really invested in the election. We took them with us to vote and they wanted to hear about all the issues, they were very interested in people's different political stances and we had a hard time getting Jack to understand that it wasn't polite to ask people who they were voting for. We tried to lay out the positions of each side and play devil's advocate with a variety of positions. We also tried not to talk about it too much, although I think we failed in this regard. Luke could actually recognize Donald Trump on t.v and would say, "it's DonalShrump" when he saw an ad. He also said it when seeing the weatherman, newscasters, and others, so thankfully, his recognition isn't 100%.

In conclusion, this is not meant in a derogatory way to those who think differently than I do. I respect the opinions of my friends and families and accept that reasonable minds can differ.

Halloween

We had a lot of fun on Halloween. Luke had his party at school and enjoyed going trick-or-treating at Dean Lumber. He made an incredibly cute lion (I had forgotten he was also a lion for his first Halloween--whoops!).

When the kids got home from school, they put on their costumes and we went to a neighbor's house for another Halloween party. They had some fun games set up and lots and lots of good food. It was nice to do a potluck and not have to worry about dinner, particularly trying to make a creative Halloween dinner. I made deviled eggs with spooky olive spiders on them. They were good, but definitely not the highlight. My Australian neighbor made some delicious pavlova, which I had never had before. There was also pulled pork, corn dogs, chick-fil-a nuggets, chips and guacamole, and so much other food. One neighbor made amazing spooky chocolate covered pretzels. They actually had different colors worked in and I can't imagine the time involved. You can see where my head is at that I feel the need to list out the food and not specifically discuss anything else.

We left there just before 6 to prepare for trick-or-treating. As per tradition, Jennifer, Chris and Jacob joined us. We set out our candy bowl and walked the neighborhood. We brought Luke's umbrella stroller so he could easily climb in and out. However, he was not interested! He walked the entire neighborhood (just over a mile) without ever complaining or appearing the least bit tired. He loved going to each house and holding out his bag. He would proudly say, trick-or-treat, thank you and Happy Halloween to everyone who put something in his bag. He was adorable. After we finished at the last house, which was right next door to ours, he saw our house and said, "I'm ready to go home," which was good, because we had gone to every house! After eating a few pieces of candy, he enjoyed handing out candy to the people who rang our doorbell until we finally turned our light off at 8.  Let me say that trick-or-treaters get a bit more sketchy as the evening goes on. Right before I turned off our light, there were a few adults who didn't even bother with costumes. Not even teenagers. It was a little bizarre.

So Halloween was a massive success. It was the funnest Halloween I can remember. We did a lot of great activities and all our kids were totally into it. Kara was the only one who wanted to make her costume and she and I had a good time coming up with a plan and executing her "gumball machine" vision. We all had an afternoon of fun making haunted houses for our "Halloween Village" and we  carved some awesome pumpkins. Halloween may find itself rising close to the top of my favorite holidays list if we can roll this momentum into next year. Of course, Halloween has a short shelf-life, once the kids outgrow the activities, it will fall right back down the rung.

We actually had 6 carved pumpkins, one for each of us.