After the hustle and bustle of December, January brings a calm reprieve. We often try and go to DC in January, since it is a quiet month for tourism. Unfortunately, the government shutdown has closed most of our favorite places. No battle sites or Smithsonian museums for us this month! I just deleted a long rant about the government which I will summarize and say that I am frustrated by both our executive and legislative branches.
We have discussed our goals for the year. I am not good at tracking our progress and perhaps this year I can come up with some way to monitor. Maybe a monthly check-in? Personally, one of my favorite proverbs is, "it is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness." This year I have decided to take charge and hold myself responsible for my own happiness. Sometimes I feel beat down by circumstance and things beyond my control. This year, I want to react calmly, change what I can, and let the rest go.
We have taken some steps to try and make things run more smoothly on the homefront, like improved chore charts and a commitment to better enforcement. There are other things we really need to improve, especially in the way that we speak to each other. I am using the royal "we," but this is definitely more of an issue for some than others. However, learning to better react to frustrations is something we can all improve. I am worried that we (this time the royal we should really be an I) chose a parenting style that wasn't the most effective with some of our children and thus reinforced a pattern that is going to create difficulty as they get older. I am not trying to be cryptic--essentially, I was a proponent of natural consequences, where battles are carefully chosen, and inconsequential behaviors are largely ignored. However, some of those behaviors that seemed inconsequential have become more of an issue as the kids have grown. We will see what our renewed focus on speaking kindly does to improve the situation. I know that it flows down from Thomas and me, so hopefully, we can set the example.
In other news, there was potentially an opportunity for both Thomas and I to take positions in Orlando. And, I spent a few days trying to hash out whether we should put in for the jobs. Thomas loves it in Maryland and he loves his job. In Florida, he would have to do something completely different, a job he did when he first started and hated. I also really like my job, I like the work I do and I have great coworkers. I also like our house and neighborhood. Orlando would mean a paycut and the loss of any opportunity for growth. However, it would put us at just over an hour from my family. And, the theme parks! Everyone knows how much I love Disney and Universal. Plus, it would be so nice to have so many amenities at our fingertips. I hate that we have to drive so far to get to anything fun. But, our everyday life is good. We have an easy commute and good schedules at work and everything we need for day to day living. The schools are good and since both of us moved a lot as kids, we love that our kids have been in the same place since school started. But, there could be even more opportunities in Orlando! Florida has a lot more state colleges to choose from and we would be minutes from UCF, if any of our kids wanted, they could live at home and still get a great education. But, to get a house comparable to our house in Maryland, we would have to spend considerably more. And, we would be taking a pay cut (even with the offset of no state taxes). And, there are no seasons and we'd be far from all the history everyone enjoys. But, I could see my family all the time! However, moving sucks and it would be a logistical nightmare! And if we stay here, we won't have any daycare expenses next year. Ugh, back and forth we went. Thomas told me he loves it here, but knows how much I love Florida, so he was willing to go. I felt like it was my decision, which ultimately was too much responsibility. I equated it to "Deal or No Deal". Right now, I am holding the $100,000 briefcase. The million dollar one is still on the table, but so is the $1000. Do I trade something really good for the possibility of something better, but with also the potential of disaster? As much as I want to, it just doesn't make sense. It was an emotional roller coaster and I still feel sad thinking about everything. But, ultimately, my motives to move were primarily selfish and it just wasn't worth the risk.
Monday, January 14, 2019
Tuesday, January 1, 2019
2018 Year in Review
I can't believe I am writing the year-in-review post already! How has another year come and gone??? 2018 was full of the things I love most--my family (immediate and extended) and travel. We had visits from my sister's family and Marta and Elizabeth and got to spend time with Jim and his family. I finally introduced the kids to Aunt Pat, my mother's sister, and showed them my childhood stomping grounds. Unfortunately, we did not see my dad or Kevin, but we will make that happen in 2019.
We took multiple trips to Williamsburg and Philadelphia, spent time in New York City, and took a big trip to New England, which I had wanted to do for years. We went on a Thanksgiving cruise and visited 3 different Six Flags. For birthdays, Jack spent a day bike riding at Valley Forge, Anna enjoyed a night at Great Wolf Lodge, Kara had a Harry Potter themed party and Luke had his first party with friends at the gymnastics center. Everyone was well-celebrated! The only thing missing was a night or two away for just Thomas and me.
Favorite 2018 moments:
Luke: Playing ping pong on the cruise
Kara: The day in Massachusetts we went to the beach and visited grandma's grave
Jack: When Great Aunt Pat gave me the huge Civil War book
Anna: Snorkeling in Nassau and trying trapeze
Kori: seeing the Red Sox at Fenway
Thomas: Biking through Valley Forge
Unlike last year, we don't have any big trips planned yet for 2019. Although, I am itching to go to Disney World (it's been almost 6 years since we last visited!). Even though I like to focus more on the good than the bad, particularly in this blog, I also try to be honest. And, to be honest, one of the kids was very difficult on the cruise. I swore that I was not going to book another big vacation until we got a handle on those challenges, which most frequently come when our routine is thrown completely out of whack. New England was overwhelmingly positive, so I am not sure what happened between August and November or why there was such a stark contrast in behavior. But, we don't want to spend the money that Disney will cost just to be disappointed and frustrated again.
However, as I mentioned, we need to visit my dad. If he is unable to come to us, we will make sure to visit him. That may mean me flying down with one or two kids for a long weekend. Or, it may mean that we all go down and spend a relaxed week in Winter Haven. We will see how things progress over the next few months. I still harbor the slight hope that we can manage to figure out how to handle the issues that resulted in the cruise misery and go to Disney.
So, what are we most looking forward to in 2019:
Luke: playing t-ball
Kara: summer break
Jack: starting middle school
Anna: fifth grade graduation
Kori: using our new flex schedule to take random days off this summer
Thomas: Hitting my 15 year mark as a government employee and getting all the extra vacation time that comes with it!
And now, the annual individual summaries!
Luke: The difference between almost 4 and almost 5 is a big one! He is starting to struggle a bit with stronger feelings. He will do something wrong or get frustrated or angry and blame his stomach. It is actually pretty interesting to watch that internal struggle. Sometimes, he will even say, "my stomach is trying to make me do something bad, but I am not listening (something bad like speaking rudely or throwing a toy--fortunately, we aren't dealing with any big behavior issues). We are working hard with him on how to appropriately deal with the big feelings that seem to come around this age. Fortunately, he is very smart and I think his general disposition is sweet and easy-going, so it isn't too much of a challenge (praying it stays that way!). When he doesn't want to do something, he will say he is "nervous." We have explained to him several times what nervous means, but he continues to use it in a funny way, like "I am too nervous to eat my broccoli". He is very smart and social and is a favorite among both his peers and teachers at school. He is super sweet and cuddly. He gets along well with his siblings, although they don't let him get away with as much as he used to. He is always willing to share whatever he has and seems to have a special bond with Kara. Although, he will play happily with any of his siblings. For Christmas, he got Splatoon and immediately turned to Jack and exclaimed, "look Jack, WE got Splatoon!" It was one of my favorite moments of the day and I think is a good example of his general nature. He still loves sports. Instead of asking to look at toys at the store, he still asks to go and look at the balls. He played his first season of soccer this year and did amazing. His favorite thing is to go outside and play baseball with his dad and he has asked to play t-ball this spring. When he grows up he wants to be a policeman. My three words for Luke are: sweet, smart, and cuddly. Thomas said: athletic, sweet, and whiny.
Kara: Kara had an eventful year! She was selected for student council, morning news and as a media aid. She began her first year of band and is playing the trombone. She made straight As for all of third grade and got 5s on PARCC in both math and reading! Kara gave us the biggest scare of the year when we took her to the emergency room and learned that her awful stomachache was appendicitis. That experience is definitely not making any "best moment" list. She was doing much better with controlling her temper right up until her appendectomy. I am not sure if there is a correlation, or if it is just a coincidence in time, but there was a definite regression after that event. She is still very helpful and her overall personality is very sweet. For example, yesterday, she spent much of the day entertaining Luke while Thomas and I did projects around the house. She even made him lunch! When we leave the kids with a teenage babysitter, we always put Kara in charge of Luke *witch bothers Anna (that little parenthetical was added by Anna when I happened to leave this open on the computer :). She happily helps him with his pajamas and brushing his teeth. She and Anna have a strong love/hate relationship. They seem to either be the best of friends or bitterly fighting. She and Jack along well and rarely argue. Kara loves to read, play with Littlest Pet Shop and build Legos. She also loves board games and helping me in the kitchen. When she grows up she wants to be an author. My three words for Kara are: emotional, helpful, and strong-willed. Thomas said: smart, helpful, and caring.
Jack: Jack continues to be easy to parent. He is generally obedient and quick to offer a helping hand. He routinely does all his chores without complaint or reminders. When I drive up with groceries he is always there to help bring them in and put them away (we don't even have to ask!). He loves the Nintendo Switch and comic books and is still very interested in history. Jack is an avid reader and reads several large books each week. We can't get to the library fast enough to keep him occupied! He has an odd sleeping rhythm and has trouble falling asleep before 9:30/10pm. On the weekends, he usually makes up for it by sleeping until 9:30/10am. I am dreading the ultra-early middle school bus pick-up next year! Jack is an excellent student who picks up new material very quickly. Both he and Anna were selected for their school's 4th grade math team where they came in 4th out of 23. It was the school's best finish in years! He can be very silly and has a good sense of humor. He is very quiet until he starts talking about one of his video games or something interesting he learned. His presence is much appreciated in our house and I pray that the middle school years don't change him one bit! When he grows up he wants to be a lawyer. My words for Jack are loving, quiet, and helpful. Thomas said: Affectionate, smart, and steady
Anna: Anna has made lots of good progress this year. Like her siblings she does well in school (the first quarter all 3 had straight As!). She is very concerned about the environment and is a member of her school's environmental club. She is also a safety patrol officer and in the school's chorus. She seems to have found a strong friend group and that has made her very happy. She can lose her temper quickly, but she also recovers quickly and apologizes. She is anxious to grow-up, although she still loves to play with Littlest Pet Shop and American Girl. She has now completed a year of piano lessons. She frequently states she wants to quit, but takes it back pretty quickly. She enjoys making progress, but not practicing, which obviously creates some struggles. Anna is very nervous about middle-school. She can have trouble finding the positives in her life, but is working on it. My three words for Anna are chatty, precocious, and inquisitive. Thomas said: Precocious, smart, and ambitious. (Note--Thomas and I do not collaborate when coming up with the three words to describe the children.)
And that wraps up the 2018 Year in Review. As always, as long as we are all healthy and together next year, I will consider 2019 a success. We had our annual cheese fondue yesterday and discussed what we enjoyed in 2018 and what we hope to work on in 2019. Cheers to 2018!
We took multiple trips to Williamsburg and Philadelphia, spent time in New York City, and took a big trip to New England, which I had wanted to do for years. We went on a Thanksgiving cruise and visited 3 different Six Flags. For birthdays, Jack spent a day bike riding at Valley Forge, Anna enjoyed a night at Great Wolf Lodge, Kara had a Harry Potter themed party and Luke had his first party with friends at the gymnastics center. Everyone was well-celebrated! The only thing missing was a night or two away for just Thomas and me.
Favorite 2018 moments:
Luke: Playing ping pong on the cruise
Kara: The day in Massachusetts we went to the beach and visited grandma's grave
Jack: When Great Aunt Pat gave me the huge Civil War book
Anna: Snorkeling in Nassau and trying trapeze
Kori: seeing the Red Sox at Fenway
Thomas: Biking through Valley Forge
Unlike last year, we don't have any big trips planned yet for 2019. Although, I am itching to go to Disney World (it's been almost 6 years since we last visited!). Even though I like to focus more on the good than the bad, particularly in this blog, I also try to be honest. And, to be honest, one of the kids was very difficult on the cruise. I swore that I was not going to book another big vacation until we got a handle on those challenges, which most frequently come when our routine is thrown completely out of whack. New England was overwhelmingly positive, so I am not sure what happened between August and November or why there was such a stark contrast in behavior. But, we don't want to spend the money that Disney will cost just to be disappointed and frustrated again.
However, as I mentioned, we need to visit my dad. If he is unable to come to us, we will make sure to visit him. That may mean me flying down with one or two kids for a long weekend. Or, it may mean that we all go down and spend a relaxed week in Winter Haven. We will see how things progress over the next few months. I still harbor the slight hope that we can manage to figure out how to handle the issues that resulted in the cruise misery and go to Disney.
So, what are we most looking forward to in 2019:
Luke: playing t-ball
Kara: summer break
Jack: starting middle school
Anna: fifth grade graduation
Kori: using our new flex schedule to take random days off this summer
Thomas: Hitting my 15 year mark as a government employee and getting all the extra vacation time that comes with it!
And now, the annual individual summaries!
Luke: The difference between almost 4 and almost 5 is a big one! He is starting to struggle a bit with stronger feelings. He will do something wrong or get frustrated or angry and blame his stomach. It is actually pretty interesting to watch that internal struggle. Sometimes, he will even say, "my stomach is trying to make me do something bad, but I am not listening (something bad like speaking rudely or throwing a toy--fortunately, we aren't dealing with any big behavior issues). We are working hard with him on how to appropriately deal with the big feelings that seem to come around this age. Fortunately, he is very smart and I think his general disposition is sweet and easy-going, so it isn't too much of a challenge (praying it stays that way!). When he doesn't want to do something, he will say he is "nervous." We have explained to him several times what nervous means, but he continues to use it in a funny way, like "I am too nervous to eat my broccoli". He is very smart and social and is a favorite among both his peers and teachers at school. He is super sweet and cuddly. He gets along well with his siblings, although they don't let him get away with as much as he used to. He is always willing to share whatever he has and seems to have a special bond with Kara. Although, he will play happily with any of his siblings. For Christmas, he got Splatoon and immediately turned to Jack and exclaimed, "look Jack, WE got Splatoon!" It was one of my favorite moments of the day and I think is a good example of his general nature. He still loves sports. Instead of asking to look at toys at the store, he still asks to go and look at the balls. He played his first season of soccer this year and did amazing. His favorite thing is to go outside and play baseball with his dad and he has asked to play t-ball this spring. When he grows up he wants to be a policeman. My three words for Luke are: sweet, smart, and cuddly. Thomas said: athletic, sweet, and whiny.
Kara: Kara had an eventful year! She was selected for student council, morning news and as a media aid. She began her first year of band and is playing the trombone. She made straight As for all of third grade and got 5s on PARCC in both math and reading! Kara gave us the biggest scare of the year when we took her to the emergency room and learned that her awful stomachache was appendicitis. That experience is definitely not making any "best moment" list. She was doing much better with controlling her temper right up until her appendectomy. I am not sure if there is a correlation, or if it is just a coincidence in time, but there was a definite regression after that event. She is still very helpful and her overall personality is very sweet. For example, yesterday, she spent much of the day entertaining Luke while Thomas and I did projects around the house. She even made him lunch! When we leave the kids with a teenage babysitter, we always put Kara in charge of Luke *witch bothers Anna (that little parenthetical was added by Anna when I happened to leave this open on the computer :). She happily helps him with his pajamas and brushing his teeth. She and Anna have a strong love/hate relationship. They seem to either be the best of friends or bitterly fighting. She and Jack along well and rarely argue. Kara loves to read, play with Littlest Pet Shop and build Legos. She also loves board games and helping me in the kitchen. When she grows up she wants to be an author. My three words for Kara are: emotional, helpful, and strong-willed. Thomas said: smart, helpful, and caring.
Jack: Jack continues to be easy to parent. He is generally obedient and quick to offer a helping hand. He routinely does all his chores without complaint or reminders. When I drive up with groceries he is always there to help bring them in and put them away (we don't even have to ask!). He loves the Nintendo Switch and comic books and is still very interested in history. Jack is an avid reader and reads several large books each week. We can't get to the library fast enough to keep him occupied! He has an odd sleeping rhythm and has trouble falling asleep before 9:30/10pm. On the weekends, he usually makes up for it by sleeping until 9:30/10am. I am dreading the ultra-early middle school bus pick-up next year! Jack is an excellent student who picks up new material very quickly. Both he and Anna were selected for their school's 4th grade math team where they came in 4th out of 23. It was the school's best finish in years! He can be very silly and has a good sense of humor. He is very quiet until he starts talking about one of his video games or something interesting he learned. His presence is much appreciated in our house and I pray that the middle school years don't change him one bit! When he grows up he wants to be a lawyer. My words for Jack are loving, quiet, and helpful. Thomas said: Affectionate, smart, and steady
Anna: Anna has made lots of good progress this year. Like her siblings she does well in school (the first quarter all 3 had straight As!). She is very concerned about the environment and is a member of her school's environmental club. She is also a safety patrol officer and in the school's chorus. She seems to have found a strong friend group and that has made her very happy. She can lose her temper quickly, but she also recovers quickly and apologizes. She is anxious to grow-up, although she still loves to play with Littlest Pet Shop and American Girl. She has now completed a year of piano lessons. She frequently states she wants to quit, but takes it back pretty quickly. She enjoys making progress, but not practicing, which obviously creates some struggles. Anna is very nervous about middle-school. She can have trouble finding the positives in her life, but is working on it. My three words for Anna are chatty, precocious, and inquisitive. Thomas said: Precocious, smart, and ambitious. (Note--Thomas and I do not collaborate when coming up with the three words to describe the children.)
And that wraps up the 2018 Year in Review. As always, as long as we are all healthy and together next year, I will consider 2019 a success. We had our annual cheese fondue yesterday and discussed what we enjoyed in 2018 and what we hope to work on in 2019. Cheers to 2018!
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