January: Resolutions and Orlando

After the hustle and bustle of December, January brings a calm reprieve. We often try and go to DC in January, since it is a quiet month for tourism. Unfortunately, the government shutdown has closed most of our favorite places. No battle sites or Smithsonian museums for us this month! I just deleted a long rant about the government which I will summarize and say that I am frustrated by both our executive and legislative branches.

We have discussed our goals for the year. I am not good at tracking our progress and perhaps this year I can come up with some way to monitor. Maybe a monthly check-in? Personally, one of my favorite proverbs is, "it is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness." This year I have decided to take charge and hold myself responsible for my own happiness. Sometimes I feel beat down by circumstance and things beyond my control. This year, I want to react calmly, change what I can, and let the rest go.

We have taken some steps to try and make things run more smoothly on the homefront, like improved chore charts and a commitment to better enforcement. There are other things we really need to improve, especially in the way that we speak to each other. I am using the royal "we," but this is definitely more of an issue for some than others. However, learning to better react to frustrations is something we can all improve. I am worried that we (this time the royal we should really be an I) chose a parenting style that wasn't the most effective with some of our children and thus reinforced a pattern that is going to create difficulty as they get older. I am not trying to be cryptic--essentially, I was a proponent of  natural consequences, where battles are carefully chosen, and inconsequential behaviors are largely ignored. However, some of those behaviors that seemed inconsequential have become more of an issue as the kids have grown. We will see what our renewed focus on speaking kindly does to improve the situation. I know that it flows down from Thomas and me, so hopefully, we can set the example.

In other news, there was potentially an opportunity for both Thomas and I to take positions in Orlando. And, I spent a few days trying to hash out whether we should put in for the jobs. Thomas loves it in Maryland and he loves his job. In Florida, he would have to do something completely different, a job he did when he first started and hated. I also really like my job, I like the work I do and I have great coworkers. I also like our house and neighborhood. Orlando would mean a paycut and the loss of any opportunity for growth. However, it would put us at just over an hour from my family. And, the theme parks! Everyone knows how much I love Disney and Universal. Plus, it would be so nice to have so many amenities at our fingertips. I hate that we have to drive so far to get to anything fun. But, our everyday life is good. We have an easy commute and good schedules at work and everything we need for day to day living. The schools are good and since both of us moved a lot as kids, we love that our kids have been in the same place since school started. But, there could be even more opportunities in Orlando! Florida has a lot more state colleges to choose from and we would be minutes from UCF, if any of our kids wanted, they could live at home and still get a great education. But, to get a house comparable to our house in Maryland, we would have to spend considerably more. And, we would be taking a pay cut (even with the offset of no state taxes). And, there are no seasons and we'd be far from all the history everyone enjoys. But, I could see my family all the time! However, moving sucks and it would be a logistical nightmare! And if we stay here, we won't have any daycare expenses next year. Ugh, back and forth we went. Thomas told me he loves it here, but knows how much I love Florida, so he was willing to go. I felt like it was my decision, which ultimately was too much responsibility. I equated it to "Deal or No Deal". Right now, I am holding the $100,000 briefcase. The million dollar one is still on the table, but so is the $1000. Do I trade something really good for the possibility of something better, but with also the potential of disaster? As much as I want to, it just doesn't make sense. It was an emotional roller coaster and I still feel sad thinking about everything. But, ultimately, my motives to move were primarily selfish and it just wasn't worth the risk.