A Televisit, Scavenger Hunt and Dark Thoughts

Friday was a surprisingly eventful day--at least by our new standard. A few months ago, I made a visit for Jack to visit a pediatric allergist. It has been a few years since we last checked in and we thought it would be a good idea to see if there have been any new developments. I figured the appointment would be canceled, as it is a non-essential, but a week before, they called and offered us the option of a digital visit. That was better than waiting months to reschedule, so I was all in. The visit was at 920 and the doctor was right on time. We had a good visit and decided to do new bloodwork when the hospital reopens. We know he is absolutely allergic to peanuts--he has had a couple of severe reactions. But, we don't know about treenuts or shellfish (he tests as allergic, but he hasn't been exposed, so we just assume the tests are accurate). We also don't know if his levels have increased or decreased. Basically, it is just time to see where things stand. The children's hospital, where the appointment was scheduled, is only 15 minutes from our house. So, going there would not have been a big deal. But, when we lived in Maryland, we had to drive about 2 hours to get to his appointments in Baltimore. Digital medicine would have been awesome then!

Jack waiting for the doctor. Sweater on top, Christmas jammies on bottom :)

Also on Friday, Thomas created a neighborhood scavenger hunt for the kids. He had a list with about 15 items they had to find and take a picture of. Some were easy (a bench, bird, blue car) some were more challenging (a Drake lawncare sign, a mailbox with a specific number). We sent the big kids out separately and I went with Luke. We had fun and it was a good break from another really busy day at work. It was also a good way to get people outside. Once again my hopes for a calm Friday were thwarted and I ended up working for about 10 hours (instead of a peaceful 8). But, I am grateful to have a job and be working from home, so I am not complaining!

One of the photos from a successful "hunter"

Lately, I have just been incredulous about how quickly this bizarre way of life has become normal. I wear a mask when I shop. There are taped squares on the ground reminding me to stay six feet away at the grocery store, which is almost the only place I visit (the other being the occasional run to pick up takeout). School is done from home, as is work. We can't visit with family or friends, unless we are willing to stand a minimum of six feet apart. We have now missed the birthdays of my dad, brother and Elizabeth; events we likely would have celebrated together. Theme parks are closed and there is no opening in sight. We go outside, but only in our neighborhood. Playgrounds, green spaces, basketball and tennis courts are all chained shut. We are only supposed to leave our homes for essential reasons. And, we now treat all of this without much thought. In fact, when watching t.v., it seems bizarre when characters shake hands or hug. The "new normal" now is mostly just "normal."

There are other uncomfortable thoughts. I am very thankful for the people who are working in traditionally low paying jobs to keep our food supply plentiful. But, it reminds me of the social inequity in our society. I was checked out at Walmart by an older woman who didn't appear to be in the best of health. She commented that she was just happy to have a job. It seems unfair that so many have to put themselves at risk because they have no other option financially. Obviously, I am also extremely thankful for the healthcare workers, who seem to be receiving a lot of the praise (and, they certainly should be praised!), but I feel for the vulnerable, lower wage employees. It has to be done and someone has to do it, but, I feel guilty and sad about it.

I am also worried about how vulnerable we are. This could have been so much worse and I find myself having to shoo away thoughts about the next time. I hate how quickly everything changed and knowing that it could happen again and be even worse. It is enough to keep one awake at night! I also feel frustrated at society. I don't think of myself as a pessimist, but as thankful as I am for the people contributing to society, I am frustrated by the people who aren't cooperating. Remember the closed basketball courts? Every day people jump the fence to play. And, we see large groups practicing soccer and doing other things that violate the state order. The attitude of "I don't have to obey the rules, those are for everyone else," really makes me mad!

Finally, I wonder will we ever get back to old normal? I certainly hope so, and I think we will, but again, we have shown how vulnerable we really are. After I had Jack and Anna, the doctor told me that they were both healthy and I thought, "of course they are, why wouldn't they be?" It never occurred to me they wouldn't be born healthy. With Kara and Luke, the veil was removed and I knew so much could go wrong. I feel like this experience has removed the veil in a similar way. The blissful ignorance is gone. Will we ever be the same?