Parenting Woes

When I go back and read my blogs from years past, my favorite are the stories that took place in every day life. The funny things that happened on the way to the playground or the silly interactions at home. The stories we have today usually aren't very cute. Sometimes they are funny and entertaining. But, it is harder for me to write about what is really going on in our lives because while the kids like hearing about what they did when they were 4 or 5, they aren't so excited for me to write about what they consider embarrassing moments now. For example, this week one of my older children, we shall call this child Kiddo, basically went on a hunger strike to teach me a lesson. Kiddo came downstairs grouchy one morning and was being mean to Luke. We gave Kiddo a warning and the behavior continued. So, we told Kiddo to go up to their room for 10 minutes to calm down. It took awhile for Kiddo to listen and when Kiddo finally did, it was with a pronouncement that Kiddo was going to stay there all day! Then, Kiddo did. I made Kiddo lunch, Kiddo stated he/she was not hungry and stayed upstairs. We ran a quick errand, Kiddo did not want to join. I made Kiddo sit at the dinner table with us, but Kiddo refused to eat (again saying he/she was not hungry) and went back to their room immediately after. Kiddo had told one of their siblings that he/she was teaching us a lesson. I'm not sure what the lesson was, because the day was actually pretty peaceful. One of Kiddo's siblings even announced that Kiddo should teach us more lessons (a bit mean, but again, the day was pretty peaceful, likely not entirely attributable to Kiddo's strike). Personally, I admired Kiddo's determination. Kiddo said he/she was going to stay in his/her room all day and not eat and then did it. Most of us would have gotten hungry and given in, but not Kiddo! Kiddo ended up fasting for about 37 hours and was not feeling great the next morning, but he/she did it! Hopefully, a lesson was learned by someone!

Our parenting challenges are also different. One of the kids got caught lying to us this week (doing electronics when it wasn't time). Then, that child tried to cover the lie with more deception. I imagine it is only going to get harder, but the struggles we have now can be frustrating. The rude, snarky, sarcastic attitudes that I assume go with the preteen territory seem to be more frequent. Although, I also expect some of that is frustration and boredom with our present situation? I really just want them to be honest. I expect them to make mistakes and break rules, even though I wish they didn't, but I just want them to be nice and to be honest. That's not asking too much, is it? In fairness, I will say that overall I think they are really great kids and I don't think our struggles are anything unusual.

Reports cards came out this week. Jack had all As for the year, except Spanish. He really struggled in Spanish, but he did not like it or put forth the effort to do well. Anna's grades came up this quarter, but it took a lot of effort on our part, which was frustrating. Kara had all As and one B. Luke had Os and Ss. :) I would call it a successful school year, there are lessons to be learned, but we are definitely proud of all of them.

Luke is still fun and little. I often look at him and think of Jack at his age. Luke is so happy and chatty. I remember Jack being that way too. Anna was also very talkative and friendly, although I actually think Luke has outlasted that stage for them. I remember Anna and Jack getting more reserved when kindergarten started. Kara was never very friendly, although she was pretty chatty with her family, she has always been a bit more shy (although, oddly enough, she is the least timid, so maybe shy is the wrong word, maybe saying she was always more introverted makes more sense?). Anyway, it is easy for me to look at Luke and remember how quickly this stage of life passes. They are only little for the tiniest slip of time. And, I know they are all still "little," and I try to keep that in mind. I don't want to mourn the years that have past and not enjoy the years we are in. But, looking at Luke is like a mini time machine and sometimes it just hits me.

In other parenting news, Kara has been begging for a hamster. She watches videos about them, reads books and has been super vocal about her desire to own one. I am not really interested in another pet. In fact, I feel like our family should be banned from further pet ownership. But, we have decided to leverage her deep desire for a hamster with our deep desire that she learn better coping skills. So, once she has 30 successful days (they don't have to be consecutive) in our set criteria, we will buy her the hamster and a nice fancy habitat. It would be a win for us all! We have told the other kids that we can set up something similar for them to work through their personal challenges if they'd like. We all definitely have them!

And, as mentioned, I really do think this pandemic has exacerbated many of those challenges. We are home, but Thomas and I are working for most of the day so it is completely different for the kids. We take breaks to do things with them; lately Thomas, Luke and Jack have been playing "tennis" in the street as a lunch break and I generally will jump in the pool with Luke and the girls, but it is still not the same. I struggle with reconciling the summer I wanted with the summer we are going to get. I wish we could at least send them to camp, but with the numbers rising so rapidly, I think everyone is better off at home, at least for now.

So, that is all for the this edition of Parenting Woes. Hopefully, I have been cryptic enough so as not to embarrass anyone while providing enough details for an accurate portrayal.