Blah, Blah, Blah & Homesick

Blah is pretty much how I am feeling these days. Work is really difficult and I am tired of it. It is even worse for Thomas. He has been in litigation for months. That is always super stressful and it is frustrating that it keeps dragging on. Being busy isn't a bad thing, but we want a good work/life balance. But, I am sure it will get better. It is definitely ebb and flow and we just happen to be in a flow right now. On the plus side, our boss is nice and working from home is still great. It would be hard to have this workload in the office. I don't know how we did it before (working a fixed schedule to ensure we were around for the kids). I know that we did and I know at some point we will have to do it again, but working from home definitely makes it a lot easier. It is so nice not having to stop what you are in the middle of because it is time to leave.

Due to the rise in Covid numbers, we are staying put more. No more theme parks for us. It is sad, but I feel like an end is in sight and we should just hunker down. Of course, Luke and Anna are going to school and Luke has sports. Yes, plural. We signed him up for flag football and assumed it would end before baseball, which is what he really wants to play, began. We were wrong. So, they will overlap for the next month. But, on the plus side, the football is an easy walk from our house and the baseball is also super close. It is at a park we frequently ride our bikes to, but we can't do that with all the baseball gear. Plus, the practices don't end until 8 and it is pitch black out. Regardless, at least his activities are convenient.

They won their first game, Luke was great on defense and scored a touchdown on offense!

Kara is still doing her ballet and acrobatics class. But, she's made enough progress that she no longer needs the level I ballet. Kara is thinking about whether she wants to add another class in its place. She is pretty casual about the whole thing and doesn't have any set goals. She just wants to get better at acro because she enjoys it, which is fine with us. I will miss the level I class. That one was from 5-6 and we had a good routine. Anna and I would drop her off, go to Goodwill and Aldi and occasionally Chick-Fil-A takeout, grab Kara and head home. An hour was the perfect amount of time, because everything is essentially in the same parking lot. The other class is later and goes for two hours, so we generally drop her off, go home, and then pick her up. But, it is nice to have one thing off the schedule.

Jack finally got to try out his new kayak. He and Thomas went out on Lake Nona. They both really enjoyed it. The airport is super close and they liked seeing the planes fly above. Thomas said you could see in the windows. They hope to go out again soon. They didn't see any alligators, although I am sure there are hundreds living in that lake.

So, the homesick part. I still miss Maryland. I am starting to feel frustrated with myself. I feel like I have found the positives in every place we've lived. But, honestly, we never had any choice before and that made it easier. We went where the Navy sent us and then to the place that offered Thomas a job. So, there was never anything to regret. We just went where we had to go and made the best of it. But, this one was my choice. We came here because I wanted to. And, all this time later, I still miss Maryland. Mostly our house, neighborhood, and friends. But, I also miss our weekend trips and all the history and cool things we did. I am not sure it is a fair comparison, since we have been under quarantine for more than half of our time here. But, this house doesn't feel like ours, and the house on Miley feels like it should still belong to us. I worry I made the wrong choice. I do like being near family (who we aren't seeing right now because of Covid) and the theme parks are fun (which we aren't visiting because of Covid). The winter weather is nice and I really like this neighborhood. I just feel a bit homesick, for a home I know I will never return to and it makes me sad. I can only imagine how Thomas feels; he never wanted to leave and at least I like it here. That is the weird part, I do like Florida and living in Orlando. There are things that annoy me, but there were things that annoyed me in Maryland. I know that no place is perfect. Maybe it is the too-small-ugly-house compared with our beautiful Maryland home? Who knows, but I hate being a glass is half empty person. I wouldn't call it depression, it's not that extreme, but it is definitely blah. I think it is a combination of Covid fatigue, the homesick feeling, and work being stressful. Hopefully, it goes away when the restrictions lift and we can live life more fully again. 

To end on a nicer note. We went to Leu Gardens and I got a picture of all the boys stopping to smell the roses. I'm not sure what the girls were doing.