End of January

The biggest news for January is that Luke is potty trained! I may be getting ahead of myself in that pronouncement, but he has come a long way. We had noticed the signs that he was ready for a month or so, but for whatever reason I procrastinated the process. Finally, I decided it was time. We made him a chart with 55 spaces and put him to the test. Each time he used the potty, he earned a sticker to put on his chart. One week later, the chart is full and he is wearing underwear at all times except at night. He stays dry during naps, and takes himself to the potty while awake. He was incredibly easy to "train". Thank goodness! See my potty training blog from February 2012 to see why this was so miraculous for me. It is actually a bit hard for me to believe it can be this easy, so I am waiting to see if there are any relapses. Anna was easy, but the other two were a bit more difficult. Hmmm, after rereading that 2012 post, I am thinking they would not be pleased by my oversharing.

After each sticker he counted: 1-12, 14, 17, 20, 45, 11. Every. time.

For the most party, January has been a quiet month. President (?!?!?) Trump has instituted an executive order freezing the hiring for federal employment. I am still waiting to hear what that means for me. I spoke with my future office on Friday and they are hoping that they will still be able to bring me onboard in a timely manner. 

We have had 3 more one-on-one days with the older kids. I took Anna to Waldorf to have lunch at Ghengis Khan and then to the mall. We had a delightful time. She is so cheerful and good-natured during our alone time together. We also browsed Party City and she picked out small treats for her siblings, which I found very thoughtful. For her outing, Kara finally got to see the inside of Texas Roadhouse. Thomas and I go there often on date nights, but because of the peanut presence, we've never brought the kids. So, Kara chose to go there for her day to see what she's been missing. She was not disappointed. After that, we went to Michael's to browse all the fun crafts.  Again, we had an excellent time. Finally, Jack wanted to see the Star Wars movie, Rogue One, again. To make it extra special, Thomas took time off from work and picked Jack up early from school. Thomas gave him the option of going out to lunch or eating snacks at the movie and Jack chose snacks. They enjoyed their time together as well. 

Anna at Ghengis Grille. I didn't get pictures of the other outings.

Jack and Anna both got into the gifted program. Oddly enough, Jack got in for math and Anna for reading. I think it is good that they won't be in the same extra classes together, although frankly we are surprised Jack got in for math and not reading. We weren't expecting them to get into either, but if it was going to be one, we would have thought reading. Of course, as we told them, it is just a piece of paper and shouldn't change a thing. We work hard to stress to all our kids that the deciding factor on success will be the effort they are willing to exert.

In other Jack and Anna news, they got cast as Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum in their school play! May can't get here fast enough, I am so excited to see them perform. Kara didn't want to do the play, but then there was a shortage of flowers for the chorus, so she decided to participate. She really wanted to be stage crew, but that is only for 4th and 5th graders.

Final news is that Luke had his first dentist appointment! I know we were behind on this, but it turned out fine. He was fantastic. He was so cooperative, they were able to use the older kid tools on him. Best of all, our no cavity streak continues. I am always so fearful when it is dentist time. Thomas and I have told them how uncomfortable it is to have a cavity filled and stress to them that they have to brush, floss, and use their mouthwash every night to avoid the dreaded shot in the gums. It is a fine line to walk. Eventually, I am sure someone will need a filling and we are going to have to backpedal a bit on how awful it is.

2016, A Year in Review

Another year has come and gone. It was fun reading over my thoughts of 2015 and I am thankful for another year with only limited challenges. It was funny to read that Anna was sick with strep throat last New Year's Day, because she is sick again this year. However, this time it is a stomach bug. Luke is also afflicted.

Unlike last year, we (thankfully) didn't lose anyone close to us. There were no separations and none are planned. It was our first full year without any military obligations and while I miss the benefits of being in the military (i.e. extra income and discount tickets to Disney World), I don't miss the time it took away from the family. It was fun to plan weekends without worrying about drill schedules and other potential work obstacles. And, we did have a couple of fun weekends away, one to Philadelphia and another to Williamsburg. Our biggest vacation was our 9 day trip to Florida. Since I have already written about all of these trips, I won't rehash them here. But, it was another good year with lots of family time.

2015 was the Summer of Kings Dominion and 2016 was the Year of Six Flags. We definitely got our money's worth from our season passes, visiting an astonishing 18 times! It is a smaller park than Kings Dominion, so we rarely spent an entire day there, but we often tied it into day trips with other activities planned. For example, we went to Annapolis to see the State Building and then stopped at Six Flags on our way home. We did this with Mount Vernon, Baltimore and a few other outings. We renewed our season passes, because I thought the kids and I could spend a lot of time at the water park this summer. I envisioned, "Water Park Wednesdays," where we would go up, spend a few hours in the water park, have lunch (included thanks to our dining plan) and then get home around the same time Thomas arrived from work. Alas, Water Park Wednesdays are not meant to be, thanks to the other big news of 2016...

I got a job! I haven't started yet, and I don't know when I will. But, I have confirmed employment. Well, barring any unforeseen hiring freezes or other circumstances beyond our control. It is the same job I had previously interviewed for, but this time they actually offered me the position. I guess my persistence wore them down! As I have written many times, I have mixed feelings about this. The best thing about staying home is the low-stress home-life it provides. It gives me a chance to volunteer at the kids' school and be there when they get on and off the bus. I keep the house relatively clean and prepare nice dinners almost every night. If someone is sick, there are no concerns about who is going to take time off, which was the hardest thing when we both worked previously. Of course, many families have two working parents. On the positive side, I am looking forward to the intellectual challenges and the adult conversation. I will be happy when the adjustment period ends.

Now, on to the kids report.

Luke has grown so much in the past year. He is incredibly sweet and loves to give hugs. He is very attached to his siblings. One day, Jack and Anna stayed after to school to audition for a play. When they didn't get off the bus, Luke burst into uncontrollable tears. He is also smart. He talks in complete sentences, knows all the letters of the alphabet and can count to 14. He (mostly) enjoys going to preschool. He still loves anything that has to do with throwing, kicking or hitting a ball. He was the biggest fan of Six Flags and frequently asks to go. A couple of weeks ago, he insisted he was not going to school, he was going to the Six Flags Waterpark and didn't understand why he couldn't just take off his winter coat and throw on his bathing suit. He is very into electronics, much more so than any of our other kids were. He constantly asks to play our phone, kindles or to watch t.v. It is a battle for us to keep him away from it. His favorite thing is to watch YouTube videos of people riding roller coasters. His favorite show is probably Team Umizoomi. I just asked him what he wants to be when he grows up and he said, "I throw up in my bowl." He was sick last night and threw up multiple times. We tried giving him a bowl, but he never made it. So, I guess I could add that he sometimes isn't quite on point with his conversation. He also likes to repeat things. You can acknowledge him, but he will continue to ask the same question or make the same statement over and over. My three words for Luke this year are: inquisitive, sweet and chatty. Thomas' are cute, cuddly and athletic.

Kara has had some struggles this year. She has an unpredictable temper and doesn't do well with change. It is hard to figure out the problem, because she is generally amazingly good. She has never had a behavior issue at school, so we know she has some control. We are hoping it is something she will outgrow. Fortunately, she is usually good. She loves to be helpful and always asks to help with dinner or around the house. She is great with Luke. She is the only kid who has changed a diaper and it was completely because she wanted to. She is doing great in school and has become a talented reader. She also loves writing. She regularly writes to her penpal in Kansas and also enjoys writing thank you notes and lists. She is very competitive and likes to be the best at whatever she is doing. We never have to remind her to do homework. And, although she doesn't seem to enjoy school as much as she did last year, she still is an enthusiastic learner who gets excited about learning new things. She enjoys playing with Shopkins and Littlest Pet Shop. Her favorite show is Just Add Magic and she wants to be a lawyer or a doctor when she grows up. My three words for Kara are: helpful, unpredictable and hard-working. Thomas said sweet, helpful and temperamental.

Jack had a good year. His behavior has improved quite a bit. I am no longer fearful to send him out in the neighborhood. He did have a minor issue at school, but now that is more of an anomaly than a norm. He is very bright and brings home a lot of perfect papers. His interest in history has not waned and he has an incredible memory. I am consistently amazed at what he knows. He reads avidly and enjoys all kinds of books, although most still tend to be history or Star Wars related. He is quieter than the other kids, at least in some respects. He can talk for hours about a video game or something he read. But, is much closed off with his feelings and I think he takes things more to heart. He loves roller coasters, especially from the front row. He still enjoys light saber battles and playing war type games with his friends. Although, he is also perfectly happy to play on his own and often seems to prefer solitude. His favorite show is Star Wars Rebels and he wants to be a historian when he grows up. My three words for Jack are smart, kind and sensitive. Thomas said confident, mellow and bibliophile.

Anna has matured a lot in the past year. Her temper has calmed considerably and although she can still be very hyper, she is not nearly as temperamental. She enjoys school and is happy to go each day. She is also smart and does very well, although she lacks some of Jack's confidence. She has found a love of music and has enjoyed violin lessons and being in a children's chorus. She puts a lot of effort into her schoolwork and is enthusiastic about projects and learning new things. We are very proud of the growth she has made in the past year. She still enjoys playing LPS with Kara and also enjoys writing in her journal. She takes pride in keeping her room clean and likes having her things neatly organized. Her biggest wish is for a pet, which Thomas and I have not yet been willing to oblige. Her favorite show is Mutt and Stuff and she wants to be a veterinarian when she grows up. My three words for Anna are smart, intuitive and loving. Thomas said timid, loquacious and inquisitive.

The kids are definitely growing, sometimes faster than we would like. Luke frequently wears Jacks old clothes and it amazes me that it wasn't too long ago that Jack was wearing them. Some of the changes are fun to see, like the girls taking more time with their clothes and working to put together stylish outfits. Some are less entertaining. I am looking forward to 2017 and hoping that any changes that occur will be small ones. I am enjoying this stage of life and wish time could slow down just a bit. I am hopeful that my starting a new job will not be too disruptive to this wonderful life of mine. And, of course, my biggest hope is for continued good health and a home filled with love.

Christmas

We had a great holiday. We were very excited to see how Luke would react. Thomas and I remembered the other kids being overwhelmed when they were his age, so we decided he would do best with fewer presents. We figured he would probably want to play with his presents as he received him. However, we were wrong! He was all about the opening of the gifts.

But, I am getting ahead of myself. Christmas Eve was our typically relaxed day, with one awesome addition--a big dinner. One of my friends mentioned that her family always had their big meal on Christmas Eve and then had leftovers on Christmas Day, which meant a more laid-back day. We decided to give it a try.  We made cookies for Santa, finished our wrapping and enjoyed our turkey dinner. We watched a movie and really enjoyed the day. 

The kids enjoyed eating "family style,"usually we just make up plates for them, so this was a big treat.

We told the kids that they could wake us at 600, but that we wouldn't go downstairs until everyone was awake. Jack knocked on our door to ask if we said 6 or 630, since Thomas was still asleep, I told him to come back at 630 which he did with Kara in tow. Anna came in around 7, so it was just Luke, who woke at his usual time of 715. We went downstairs together and everyone was excited to see the gifts laid out before them. Unfortunately, Kara had a stomachache, which put a bit of a damper on her enjoyment, although, she did keep exclaiming, "I forgot about the stockings."

Taken before the kids woke up (we certainly didn't have the t.v. on Christmas morning)!

I had a really hard time getting a good picture this year. This was the closest.

For "silly faces" Luke wanted to be "backwards," I snapped this shot as he turned to explain. 

After we went through our stockings, we moved on to gifts. We like to open one at a time, so everyone can see what everyone else is getting and, more importantly, see people open the gifts they chose. We took a break after a few presents to enjoy a pancake and sausage breakfast. 

We finished unwrapping our gifts from each other, then moved on to ones from Santa, followed by the joint family gifts. We got tickets to Dutch Wonderland (Luke needs to go at least once while he is at this perfect age) and a WiiU, which has been Jack's dream for years. Nintendo is coming out with a new console this year, so we will remain years behind the current technology. But, for now, they are happy.  

Anna was happy to see that Kara liked the gift she chose for her.

Jack opening his lightsabers

Anna repeatedly checked out this book from the library, she was happy to get her own copy!

Me showing off 3 necklaces, earrings and gloves.

Luke with his big gift from Santa--a hotwheels garage

It was a fun, relaxing day. Everyone enjoyed playing with their new toys. As we like to do, we opened gifts slowly, allowing time to play in between. After the first few presents, Luke lost interest in the contents of the gifts. At that point, he decided he really wanted to rip open presents. If we had known, we could have just wrapped up a few matchbox cars in big boxes, since he didn't really care about the contents, although he did like to "ooohhh and ahhhhh." Once it was all over, Luke kept asking if Santa was going to bring more presents. We were waayyyy off in what we expected from him. After gifts, it was on to the relaxing part of the day and just enjoying each other's company and having fun with our gift. We put a leaf in the dining room table to make additional space for lego building. 

At the lego building table

Which is also the crafting table. Just not the eating table.

For memory's sake, when I asked everyone their favorite gift Jack said the WiiU, Kara said her pogo stick, Anna said the Big Book of Girl Stuff, Luke first said "blue", then changed his answer to "presents"; Thomas said a British newspaper from 1778, and mine was a crossbar necklace with everyone's birthstone.

Pre-Christmas, my thoughts on a variety of irrelevant topics

Leading up to Christmas, we had the kids first strings concert at school. Both Jack and Anna have been playing violin. It is their first semester and they have yet to use the bow. They plucked out "Up on the Housetop" and another song. And, it was surprisingly good! They are going to learn how to use the bow starting in January, so we shall see how that goes. Neither one has ever practiced. Anna told Thomas and me she wanted to switch to the cello and we told her we were going to have to see some serious commitment first. No way are we buying another instrument to gather dust, except for those 2 30-minute classes a week. Speaking of music, I am still teaching myself piano. It is slow-going. I can play super basic songs with lots of practice, but I really enjoy it and try and find time to play every day. I am also trying to show the kids that practice makes a difference and it is okay to find joy in things we aren't necessarily good at. I was really hoping one of them would show an interest and want to learn, but there are no serious takers and I don't want it to be something I have to force them into (although, I am sure they would thank me one day if I did).

Luke also had a performance at school. I got there super early to get a good seat. I was the first one there and had my pick of seats. Of course, I sat in the front row. Actually, it was the fourth row, with the first 3 being reserved for the kids at the preschool. Imagine my annoyance when they decided to open up the row right in front of us at the start of the performance? I made a snide comment and was somewhat clear in my frustration, which I later felt bad about. I think it was reasonable to be annoyed, but I also wish I could just let things just roll off my back a bit more. Back to the performance, it was cute. Luke sang and participated. And, I know I am biased, but he was the best singer amongst the two year-olds. He was the only one I could actually hear (maybe because I know his voice?). They also did a sign language song and Luke actually knew the sign language, I was impressed. He is a smart cookie.

Luke is the cutey sticking his tongue out. No idea why.

Speaking of smart cookies, both Jack and Anna were tested for gifted and talented. Apparently, they do a prescreen and then those kids get additional testing. While I am proud that they made it to the second round, I find the whole thing a little pretentious. First of all, why do they have to call it gifted and talented? What does that say to the other kids? For me, of our three older kids, I hope either 1 makes it, none make it, or all make it. I find it all irrelevant, they are smart enough to do whatever they want, the key to success will be the effort they are willing to put forth.

Back to Christmas, as previously mentioned--we love Christmas in this house! We are not the kind who succumb to strange theories about limiting gifts or holding back. Of course, we try to be reasonable. We don't want our kids to be spoiled or greedy. And, so far they are not. They all had very reasonable and very short wish lists. In fact, Kara only asked for a Shopkins toy, Anna wanted a desk and chair and Jack requested the game Risk. So, I feel as though our kids are rooted in reality. We spend the whole year saying no to their toy requests and it is fun to be extravagant once a year. Thomas and I enjoy the shopping and build-up to Christmas. We like putting a few gifts under the tree and letting the kids wrap and shop with us. They are surprisingly good at keeping surprises. As far as I know, no secrets were revealed. We have the kids draw names and this year, they earned the money that was spent on them with our behavior chart.

Luke wrapping the gift he picked out for Thomas (an over the door basketball hoop)

If I haven't mentioned it, we have a clip chart in our house. It is similar to the concept that many teachers here use. The kids start on green and then clip up or down based on behavior. They earn extra electronics time daily based on their clip up (in 5 minute increments) and they lose time if they clip down. There is also a monetary value that accumulated throughout the year of .25 cents for each clip up, they don't lose money for moving down. They clip up for being nice or helpful and clip down for fighting and speaking rudely. Most days, they are on green or higher. By Christmas, they had between $37-$42 and they had a great time shopping for each other. They all chose thoughtful gifts that they wrapped themselves (with a tiny bit of assistance, mainly cutting paper to size) and put under the tree. We have been using the clip chart for over a year now and it may be losing its effectiveness, but it has served us well.

In other Christmas news, we decorated gingerbread house cakes with our neighbors. It was sooooo much better than trying to make houses.

I didn't think to take pictures of them decorating, but one of the kids asked for a picture before they ate it :)

Thomas and I also attended the Darrow's annual Christmas party. It is one of our favorite events of the season and we always looks forward to it. We played minute to win it games. Despite our valiant efforts, our team did not win. We also played a version of the newlywed game, Thomas and I also did not win this. I could not accurately answer complicated questions like, "what is your husband's favorite ice cream flavor" and "what type of cake did you have at your wedding." The couple who won was actually the couple who had been married the shortest amount of time. Despite these devastating losses, we had a great time. Alecia served Thomas' favorite cookie, a snowball, and he found the one with a hidden chocolate chip, which won us a candle. Thomas has won that particularly prize several times, he just loves those cookies, so the odds are in our favor. We got fun gifts at the white elephant gift exchange and had a great night.

Thomas playing minute to win it.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

Fall is definitely my favorite season. I love the cooler weather, especially welcome after a hot summer, and all the cheerful spirit in the air. We had a busy first week of December welcoming in the Christmas season. On Friday, Anna's children's chorus had their first performance. If I haven't mentioned it before, she is in a children's chorus. The chorus is affiliated with an overarching Choral Arts program in our community. The adult singers are very talented and recognized a need to give children the opportunity to learn more about music. It is lead by two amazing singers. Practices are held once a week for 90 minutes. It is my favorite of my children's activities for several reasons: 1) it is cheap (I think it was $75 for the semester, which pays for music and building costs, it is non-profit  run by volunteers; 2) it is easy--the practices are held a mile from our house and we can just drop Anna off and return home; and 3) I love music and wish I knew how to read music and sing along to actual notes in harmony, so I'm glad Anna is learning.

Anyway, their first performance was on Friday night at the Calvert Marine Museum. We enjoyed her performance and then did the lantern walk down Solomon's Island. The next day, Saturday, we went to a craft show where the kids made gingerbread men cookies. We enjoyed seeing all the interesting crafts and left impressed by all the talent in our local community. That night, we did the lighted walk at Ann Marie Gardens. Sunday, we were kind of worn out and enjoyed a relaxing day at home watching Elf.

Other fun Christmas things we have done so far: decorate our house. Thomas changed it up a little this year and actually put lights on the roof. I thought I was going to have a heart attack (I am being somewhere between literal and figurative here, I was legitimately terrified). He put the ladder on the second floor landing, which is not a flat surface, and then climbed onto our very steep roof. I was forced to hold the ladder, as thoughts of it slipping and taking both us to the ground pranced through my head. Thomas always says that he is conscious of risk and wouldn't do anything he felt was too risky, so I tried to trust. But, the combination of ladder climbing and roof walking was NOT the highlight of my day. So, why am I listing this under "fun," because the end result is pretty nice. The house looks really good and every time we come home after dark, I really enjoy seeing the fruits of his efforts (not that I want to repeat the experience next year!).

We didn't use the garland outside like we normally do, which opened up an opportunity indoors.

The right corner of the house, our first year adding lights to this area.

We also went to the Six Flags Christmas event. It is not as elaborate as the one at Busch Gardens, but we were impressed. The lights were beautiful and the atmosphere was fun. A lot of rides were open and we saw a couple of shows. Everyone had a great time and almost daily, Luke asks to go back. In fact, yesterday when I told him it was time for school he said, "I not go to school today, I'm going Six Flags!" Wishful thinking at its finest! I hope to go back one or two more times before the season ends. My one regret was not buying the Santa photos. They had a cute Santa area and a very good looking Santa. Speaking of which, when asked what they wanted, Jack said the game Risk; Anna said a desk, chair and boots; Kara said Shopkins and LPS; and Luke said presents!

I only took a couple of pictures, which were terrible, but you can kind of see the lights of the "North Pole" section behind them.

The girls really like making silly faces at the camera lately.

Speaking of presents, we bought Anna a desk, which Fedex delivered right as the kids were getting off the school bus. Kara lingered outside and asked what it was. I replied that it was probably a small bookshelf I ordered for Daddy. The Fedex driver replied, "no, this is a desk," as she pointed at the picture. Ugh! We tried to cover it up by saying that a friend ordered it and had it shipped to our house, but the next day a desk chair appeared in the garage in plain view. I did not notice it until we all went outside. So, one surprise is ruined.

Anna had her second concert on Thursday. This one was just the kids singing all their songs. The Marine Museum was just a few songs and they will sing as one "act" at the Choral Arts concert next week. But, this one was just them. I got there early with Jack and Kara so we could get front row seats. They brought their Kindles and I brought a book and a good time was had by all. And, the concert was really good! My favorite song was probably "Various Themes on Fa-La-La" where a traditional carol was randomly interrupted by "Fa La La" sung to various tunes, like the William Tell Overture. It was a really cute number. They also sand Holiday Road, of National Lampoon's Vacation fame. All the songs were entertaining and fun. Although, for some reason, Luke kept shouting out "three more songs" after each number, which was funny the first time (and for us, continued being funny, but probably not so much for those sitting around us, fortunately, he was quiet during the singing).

Last weekend, we also went to Mount Vernon. We always go between Thanksgiving and New Years because they have the third floor open. Well, they used to have the third floor open. This year it was closed because they said crowds have increased. We were disappointed, but still had a good visit. Aladdin the Christmas camel was present and we enjoyed spending time in the museum. They also had a fun craft where the kids got to make an ornament using a puck from a tree cut down on the property.

This post is pretty sparse on pictures, I will try and remember to take one of the house tonight, but here is a bonus picture of Baby Bear taken by Anna practicing her photography skills.

And, that concludes the first week(ish) of December. Stay tuned to find out what happens next week at Tales From my House!

Thanksgiving and a parental visit

So, this post is obviously delayed. But, my dad and Maggie visited us over Thanksgiving break! My dad won't fly, so they took the train and I picked them up at the cutest little train station in Fredericksburg. The train was a bit late, but Maggie kept me apprised, so I wasn't too early (they got in around 630am, so I didn't want to get up and leave earlier then I had to). The train takes 17 hours (without delays), so I am sure they were relieved to step off. But, it is certainly less stressful than driving and my dad loves talking to strangers and meeting people, so it isn't a bad way for them to travel.

We took it easy on Tuesday morning/afternoon. Thomas was playing in a basketball game after work, so we went up and watched some of the game and I showed them the base. if you're wondering, Thomas played well and his team won. Then, we went to Golden Corral, which the kids love! It was a nice first day. Wednesday, we went to the Farmer's Market, library and out for ice cream with the kids. The adults went to dinner at a local seafood restaurant and it was good to just chat.

Little Lukey with big Lou

Thursday was Thanksgiving! My brother, who recently moved to Northern Virginia, joined us with his family. Well, most of his family, one child is grown and living out of state. We cooked, played games, and watched the parade. We introduced my girls to the game of spoons, which is one of my favorites. I thought they were still a bit young to play, but they held their own! Jack was too busy playing Wii to join us. Dinner was delicious and relaxed. My brother stayed almost all day and we really enjoyed being with everyone.

That night, I went to JC Penney and maneuvered my way into a $0.60 king-sized comforter and a $1.40 shirt. I love combining their coupons with Black Friday deals! The next morning, my dad and Maggie watched the kids while Thomas and I did a bit more shopping. We got some good deals, but well after the crowds had departed, which is how we like it. We are never looking for the big-ticket items, so it is easy to wait for things to die down. While we were gone, the kids played some more spoons and made some Oreo turkeys with Maggie. When we got home, they actually asked us to go back out because they were having so much fun. We had a Karaoke party that night and I can't remember what else we did.

Kara wanted to help cook.

Jack and Anna wanted to help in a different way.

Saturday, we went out for a drive around Solomon's and then to a late lunch. We also picked out our Christmas tree and spent the afternoon decorating. My dad and Maggie left that evening. We were all sad to see them go!

Thanks for Nothing, Facebook! A Good Reminder for Me.

Our neighborhood has a ladies only Facebook page. We use this page to give stuff away, alert each other to concerns (i.e. strange cars afoot, solicitors peddling vacuums, etc.), and lately--to complain. Kids are in yards they shouldn't be in, dogs are barking too much, unknown teenagers are playing basketball, etc. Some of it is valid, and should be addressed to the wide audience, but some of it could be addressed in person privately. I myself was guilty of an infraction last week when I asked if anyone else was being bothered by barking dogs.

Then, yesterday, I became a "victim". Our back yard shares a border with 4 different yards. One of these yards has two puppies that keep escaping. The first time this happened (that we are aware of) we were inside eating breakfast when the kids saw them in our yard. We stopped what we were doing and spent about 40 minutes chasing them down, getting in touch with the owners and making sure they were okay. The next time it happened, we were all outside. My kids were playing with some other kids on our playset. Another neighbor had stopped by to chat with her dog on a leash. None of the kids were interacting with the dogs, and we were not anywhere near the fence, but the excitement was just too much and her dogs worked their way out. Again, we gave chase and returned them. The third time, we weren't even home. The fourth time the kids were in the backyard (again, not interacting in anyway with the dogs). Another neighbor chased them down. 

Yesterday, my kids were in the backyard when the dogs came outside. Kara ran over to their fence and started talking to them. My kids are guilty of occasionally doing this, however, it only began after they spent all that time chasing them and it doesn't happen frequently. Thomas saw what she was doing and remarked that we would need to talk with the kids about leaving the dogs alone, since we don't want to entice them to escape.

Fifteen minutes later, my phone starts going off with text messages asking what was going on and telling me to check Facebook. The owner of the dogs posted a message on the page stating that the reason her dogs keep getting out is that the kids in our yard are calling them and pulling on the fence. She asked that parents talk to the children who play in that yard and stated she had "picture evidence." I was livid! I immediately responded that I would talk with my kids, but I pointed out that there are holes in the fence where the kids don't go (we all border a little pond and one area of her fence borders a very tall weed line adjacent to the pond where no kids play); that the dogs have escaped when no kids are present; and that I have personally seen the dogs get out when the kids were not interacting with them in any way. I didn't mention this, but Thomas also pointed out that all the houses we border have dogs and none of them escape. The previous owner of her house had dogs, they never got out. We both felt it was very unfair of her to blame their behavior on our children.

I spent the evening fuming. How dare she publicly shame my family? Why couldn't she just knock on my door and talk to me? Or, why not talk to the kids instead of taking pictures? She could have even sent a text, she had my number from the times I tracked her down to let her know her dogs were out. The kids were also mad, they promised that they have never "pulled on her fence." I believe them, because we are generally with them and Thomas had witnessed the same incident they saw that led to the post (an assumption based on the timing). However, they were guilty of talking to the dogs, which was a valid point to be addressed. 

After I was done fuming, I thought about it from her perspective. They are stressed because their dogs keep getting out. Another neighbor told her that people were threatening to call animal control. She sees my kid standing at the fence talking to the dog. It is a fair assumption. But, we have been friendly with this neighbor, their daughter (who is only 3 or 4) occasionally comes into our yard to play. There was no reason she couldn't have addressed it to me personally. Facebook and other electronic conveniences have made it easy to avoid human interaction, and this has lead to hurt feelings and anger (on both sides, I am guessing).

After an evening of reflection, I recognized the times I have been guilty of something similar, like my passive aggressive post about barking dogs. And, this was a reminder for me to personally do better. At one point in my younger years I was the victim of a vicious rumor. Like most gossip, there was a kernel of truth, but the story that got told eventually far exceeded the actual offense. At that point, I swore that I would never take part in gossip. I would actively avoid hearing it and I would never spread it. My further reflection showed that I am not as vigilant as I once was and that I need to do better. I understand where my neighbor was coming from and I am hoping the matter is resolved. I wish I had taken a higher road by simply knocking on her door and addressing it personally. With time, cooler heads will generally prevail and I should have waited. Hopefully, there will not be a next time, but if there is, perhaps I will be reminded of this and handle things better.

So, this is my public posting of frustration and realization. ;)