To those who know me well, this will come as no suprise: I am terrified of bees and hornets. As in, I have jumped out of a moving car to get away from a bee. As in, I was voted "least likely to become an entomologist" at camp. As in, my father almost didn't let me get a driver's license because he was afraid of what would happen if I was the driver of a vehicle that contained a stinging bug. This life-long fear began as a child. I can't remember a time when I was not scared of the flying insects. And, as a result of this, I got stung. A lot. I have been stung on my eye, neck, arm, foot, and finger. Those are just the ones that come immediately to mind. Oddly enough, when you turn into a bumbling imbecile anytime a bee comes near you, they tend to freak out and sting you. I am also slightly allergic; I swell up pretty big. We have made at least one trip to the emergency room, but benadryl seems to do the trick.
As an adult I have begun to get a handle on my outrageous behavior. There have been hornets in the car, but I have managed to pull over without killing myself or anyone else on the road. I have even mustered the courage to unbuckle a child in a carseat and pull them to safety while we waited for the insect to fly away. This past summer, I enjoyed a picnic with bees flying around and was able to walk into a house surrounded by bees (without covering my ears, which is pretty much a reflex for me). In fact, I like to think I am almost over my irrational bee fear. Now, I would say I just have a healthy fear.
Unfortunately, the hornet phobia is alive and well. They are just so dang-scary looking, with those dangling leg-like things. This time of year, they descend on our home. One of them somehow got inside last week. Fortunately, we had some "kill on contact" 22-foot spray. You know the stuff that says that under no circumstance is it to be used inside? Well, I used it inside. Then, I opened all the windows and turned on the fan. We all survived. Well, not the hornet of course.
When we had kids, I was afraid I was going to pass my fear onto them. I have learned to somewhat mask it but I still freak-out if I am in an enclosed space with one. And, heaven help us if one lands on me. I lose all control then. Which brings me to the Anna part. She has already been stung 3 times. Two by hornets (or wasps, I don't know the difference) and once by a bee. One hornet she picked up thinking it was dead and not knowing what it was. The bee flew up her dress at the zoo and couldn't find its way out. And, the last time, she was standing on the deck right on top of a large nest. So, you can't blame the kid for being scared. I am seeing a lot of myself in her behavior. Today, she saw one on the deck. The way she was screaming and crying, I was afraid she had been stung again. And that was just because she saw one. I had to guide her in an alternate door.
So, what is a phobic mother to do? I decided to be honest. I told her I was also scared of them and explained how it had kept me from having a lot of fun outside. I told her that if she lets the fear dictate her behavior now, it will grow and grow and soon she won't be able to fully enjoy all the things she really enjoys, like riding her bike. I explained how there were hornets flying around the whole time she was outside and she didn't even notice them because she was having so much fun. So, we talked for a while and she decided she was going to be brave. Hopefully, she will have (much) more success than I've had. Fear is such a funny thing; I wish I could be as rational as my 4-year old is.
On a side-note, Jack came in from outside and reported that he also saw a hornet. Then he asked, "was it looking for Anna?"
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