The Santa Dilemma (to lie or not to lie)

I remember the moment when the myth of Santa unraveled.  I was 7 or 8 and had just lost a tooth.  I was pretty creeped out by the idea of the tooth fairy.  I just didn't understand why anyone would want my old teeth.  Frankly, I didn't want the crazy lady coming into my bedroom while I slept.  I may have even had a nightmare.  My mother was left with no choice but to tell me the truth--the Tooth Fairy was not real.  From there, it all unraveled; if the Tooth Fairy wasn't real, then obviously Santa and the Easter Bunny were also make-believe.  As a side-note, I later learned that most people picture the Tooth Fairy as a small, fairy-like flying being.  Makes sense, right?  For some reason, I pictured her as a full grown, somewhat odd woman. It was no loss to discover that she was not real.  I can't say I was really surprised, I had suspected for quite some time that all of the mythical beings were in fact, just mythical beings.  The only one that I felt any loss over was good ole Saint Nick.

I kept the secret from my friends, and even listened while one friend insisted she had seen him and his reindeer on her roof on Christmas Eve.  Now, I am the mother and am confronted with my own misgivings on the matter.

When Thomas and I were in school we met a girl who presented the idea that when children are told Santa Claus is not real, they also believe that Jesus is not real.  After all, we get presents from Santa to celebrate Jesus' birthday.  And, their parents kept one truth from them, so the logic flows that parents may be harboring other secrets (betrayals). I had never heard that theory before but it's pretty prolific on the Internet.  The idea of my children feeling angry or betrayed when they found out there was no Santa Claus was a thought that has stuck with me.

Like most parents, I don't like lying to my children.  They have never asked point blank if Santa is real, but they are asking about Twinkles, our Elf on the Shelf.  Specifically, they indicated that we must have bought him at the store because he has a tag.  Good catch, kids.  I have given them a few answers when the question came up.  First, I suggested that if the question might result in an answer they don't like, it may be better to just not ask (i.e. maybe I'll say he is, and that's great, but if I say he's not, that may take away some of the fun, so do you really want to ask the question?).  This satisfied the girls who concluded I was going to say he was real and they didn't need to ask.  Jack was not so easily satisfied.  So, I asked them other reasons he might have a tag.  Perhaps the tag is a tracking device?  Maybe I bought him at the store because someone has to pay his salary while he's away from the North Pole (that was my contribution and it lead to a lot of discussion about why an Elf might need some cash and therefore diverted him from the initial question).  But, I couldn't bring myself to tell them that Twinkles was indeed a real Elf sent from the North Pole to watch them.  I am not sure if Thomas would have any such qualms.  But, unfortunately, he's not here to spread the magical Christmas cheer.

I believe that all three of (strongly) suspect the Elf on the Shelf is pretend and not really reporting their behavior on a nightly basis.  However, they aren't positive--if they are misbehaving and I ask Twinkles if he's planning to report it, they certainly take notice.  If they learn that Twinkles isn't real, will that unravel Santa Claus?

I know there is a difference between make-believe fantasy and outright lying.  We certainly do a lot of imaginative play in our house.  But, I have to be honest here--I am just not sure how to handle this one.  It is fun to believe in Santa and to pretend and I don't want to take that from them prematurely.  However, I also don't want them to think that if I kept this from them, what other secrets do I harbor.  I suspect I will just tell them that once they stop believing in Santa, they won't get any more presents from him.  That should keep them going for a decade or so.

ETA:  While a storm kept me awake last night, I did some research and found that just about everyone agrees that the vast majority of children do not feel betrayed by parents, nor does it make them question Jesus or anything else, except maybe the Tooth Fairy.  Rather, it is very helpful in encouraging all the types of imaginative play that is good and important for children.  So, I am good.  This post is pretty much moot.  Is that Reindeer I hear on the roof???