The Bad and Ugly

What I prefer to share on this blog is the good.  Those happy days when children are kind and well-behaved and life is idyllic.  However, sometimes I am so overwhelmed by a bad day, that I feel I have no choice but to share.  I am hoping that this makes our blog a more well-balanced portrayal of what life is really like in our house; something the kids can read one day with a fond recollection, smiling at both the happy memories and those depicting the less pleasant events that are far enough removed from time to be thought of with a smile.

Back to the matter at hand.  Yesterday was one of those bad days.  Jack got sent to the principal.  Again.  He mooned someone in the lunchroom.  Why you may ask?  "I was just trying to be silly," was the response I received.  I imagine we avoided suspension only because there is just one day of school left.  I consider us lucky.

Funny, without even thinking, I am using the terms "we" and "us."  As you might surmise, I have taken this event rather personally.  I just don't understand.  Between my 2 pre-k'ers, we (there it is again) have had 2 trips to the principal and 3 visits with the guidance counselor.  The other principal visit was Jack running around with some other boys pretending they had guns.  The counselor visits were for rudeness (Anna), meanness (Anna), and anger/frustration (Jack).

I just don't understand what we are doing wrong.  I wish I had not quit working, because I can only blame myself.  At least if they were in daycare, there would be some outside influences I could hang my hat on.  Speaking of which, I have no idea where he got the idea to drop his pants.  I can think of a scene in Robots that all the kids think is hilarious, but there is nothing exposed, just a bottom-shaking and a "nyah, nyah."

When I was younger, I wanted 5 children.  I thought I would be a great parent.  I imagined my children as thoughtful, smart and well-behaved.  Oh, the adventures we'd have!  Now, all I can hope is that we make it through a day without assaultive or embarrassing behavior.

When Thomas was gone, Jack had a terrible time.  He had screaming, destructive tantrums that sometimes lasted more than an hour (multiple times a week).  Thank goodness that behavior has stopped.  But now we are dealing with his lack of impulse control.  Besides being silly, he also tends to be physically aggressive.  Most of the time, it is because he plays too rough.  Less often, it is because he is just mad.  Today, at Chick-Fil-A, he was playing too rough with a girl and it ended up with her on the ground and very upset (I was already on my way to intervene when it reached that point).  We immediately pulled him out of the play area and told him he wouldn't be allowed to return.  We also didn't allow him to get an ice cream cone.  We then sat and talked about making good choices, keeping hands to self, etc.  We went from Chick-Fil-A directly to school. As Jack got out of the car, another kid started racing him to be the line leader.  Jack lost and immediately shoved the other kid.

I used to think that we were good parents (not great like I thought I would be, but not bad either).  I thought I had a good balance of when to react and when to ignore.  Now, I am not so sure.  I hope that he matures out of this behavior.  I hope one day we read this and think, "I can't believe our sweet son ever had trouble with his temper.  I can't imagine him hitting anyone!"

Any thoughts, suggestions, stories from anyone whose been through this are appreciated!