Flashback Thursday: Our First House

In 2004 Thomas and I embarked on many adventures: law school graduation in May, a cross-country drive to Nevada; a two-month stay with Thomas' Grandmother while we studied for the bar exam;  a flight to Florida to take the bar exam and a one-month stay with my parents.  Then there was a hurricane that closed the airport and almost made us miss the start of Officer Indoctrination School (OIS).  But we eventually made it and spent 6 weeks in misery at OIS in Newport, RI; 9 weeks of classes at the Naval Justice School; 1 week of orientation in Norfolk; 2 weeks of "lawyer at Sea" on a Frigate; and finally--our first jobs as lawyers in Jacksonville and Mayport, Florida.  As you can probably imagine, we were pretty excited to settle in to someplace permanent and to stop living out of our suitcases.  (In case you weren't keeping track, we went from VA to NV to FL to RI to VA to FL in 8 months).

Our plan was to rent an apartment.  We found one we liked and paid the deposit.  We planned to move in the following week.  However, during that week, we began watching a local channel that showed all the houses for sale in the area.  We started to realize that we could actually afford to buy a house.  A real house. Not a basement apartment with a constantly running dehumidifier (how we lived in school); or a guest room in someone else's house, but an honest-to-goodness, full-sized family home just for us!

The decision made, we found a Realtor.  Then, the search began.  We wanted something between the two bases we would be working at (Jacksonville and Mayport).  We hoped for 3-bedrooms 2 bath single family home (resale value).  And, that was about it in terms of our criteria.

I don't remember how long we looked, but I don't think it was very long--maybe a week before we found it. The perfect house.  Thomas didn't want to go see it because it looked ugly in the MLS listing (he thought it looked pink, it was actually brown).  But, as soon as we walked in, we knew.

We immediately put in an offer.  They (almost) immediately rejected our offer.  They didn't counter, they just rejected.  We were offended.  Our offer was not a low-ball, unreasonable one.  We decided that we would just keep looking.  But, nothing compared.  We had to have it.  So our Realtor called their Realtor and we found out what they wanted.  It was about $2500 higher than what we had originally offered.  I still don't understand why they didn't just counter.

But, the house was ours!  My unit was going to Miami for a conference, so Thomas ended up doing the closing by himself.  He said that after signing the mounds of paperwork, he just went to the house and layed in the empty rooms, amazed that it was actually ours.

It did feel amazing to be a home-owner.  We loved working around the house.  We (mostly Thomas) tiled the kitchen and entry-way.  We picked out bamboo flooring for the family room.  We changed the light fixtures.  We tried (in vain) to maintain the small yard.  We loved that house!

Of course, it wasn't all sunshine.  The people who lived their before us had a cat.  The cat left behind fleas. We couldn't figure out what was biting us.  About 2 weeks after moving in, we were sitting on the couch watching t.v.  I looked down and saw dozens of black dots hopping on my white socks (amazing how fast they multiply).  Fortunately, we didn't have a lot of furniture at that time, so we were able to relatively easily rid the house of the problem.  And, while the tiling was quite an accomplishment, we did manage to break a pipe that caused the kitchen to flood.  We also struggled constantly with the yard.  But, even those memories are more funny than tragic.

Recently, I came across pictures of when we listed the home for sale.  It wasn't fancy, there were no granite countertops or stainless steel appliances.  It was tiny compared to what we live in now.  But, I still think it was incredible.  I look at the pictures and remember hosting our first Thanksgiving dinner.  I remember how proud we were as we picked out furniture.  I recall having friends over for movie nights.  It was a good house.  I can't say I miss it, or would want to go back.  But, I do relish the memories of how I felt when we moved in.  It represented an exciting time in our lives.  We were independent, employed, responsible adults.
Now, being an independent, responsible adult is a decade old feeling.  But, then it was new.  It was exciting. It was a good house.

Definitely not a pink house  :)

Our office

Check out that custom tile work!  Designed and installed...by us!

These are the pictures taken by our Realtor when we sold the house, but we actually did keep it this neat.  Life before kids, I suppose.  

Class of 2027

Kara had her first day of Pre-K on the 22nd.  On the 21st we had her orientation.  At precisely 2pm, all the parents and children, who had been patiently waiting outside, were led to the cafeteria.  They gave a brief introduction and then took the kids off to their classroom.  Some kids were beyond excited, some were extremely apprehensive, and some were a combination.  I would say Kara fell into the latter category.  After she was gone, the principal read a poem about bequeathing to the world "a little girl with blonde hair and two blue eyes and a happy laugh that ripples all day long."  Since the description was Kara's (and probably 5 other girls in the room), it made me teary.

After some administrative matters, we were led to the classroom where our students were happily engaged. We stayed for a few more minutes and then went home.  Both of Kara's teachers seemed very nice and she was excited to go back the following day.

Thursday morning was hard for her, she really wanted to get on the bus with Jack and Anna.  She is in the afternoon program, which means she rides the bus home with Jack and Anna, but gets on around lunchtime (by herself).  She put on her carefully chosen back-to-school outfit and impatiently waited the morning away.  Speaking of her outfit, Thomas and I took them to Kohl's for sneakers.  We told them if they were good, they could look at the toys.  They were fine, so we headed to the toy aisle.  After about 15 minutes, we told them that we had about 5 minutes left in the store and they could continue looking at toys, or go pick out a new outfit.  Only Kara chose to get something new (a decision Anna later regretted).  Our kids have tons of clothes.  Anna still has a bunch of stuff I bought her from Gymboree that she hasn't even bothered to wear, so don't think they were deprived.

Finally, it was time to go.  We walked to the bus stop and for the first time, Kara showed some nervousness. However, she never wavered in her desire to go. Two buses went by, including the bus she would ride in the afternoon, and both times she waited expectantly for them to pick her up, but the drivers just waved and kept going.  Then, the third bus came, and it did slow down and it was time.  She hugged me a couple of times and told me she loved me, then she climbed onto the cavernous bus and was whisked away.  It was a sad walk home without her little hand in mine.

As I had done the day before, I counted the minutes until it was time to greet the bus and hear about her day at school.  She happily bounced off the bus and eagerly told me what they had done.  She pulled a raccoon puppet out of her bag and proclaimed that she liked school.  She had two complaints: the bus driver drove to fast and was not nice and they made her eat all of her lunch.  I promised to pack smaller lunches, but there was nothing I could say about the bus driver.  I imagine that after a lifetime in a carseat it is disconcerting to find yourself sitting on large bus with nary a seat belt.

So, that is it.  For about 3 hours a day, all of my children are at school.  It is a strange feeling.  I enjoy not having to listen to them fight, but I miss seeing them and knowing all that happens in their day.  I miss not being able to protect them and I don't like handing control to strangers. They are wonderful, special children and I want the world to be kind to them.

Here is the poem the principal read, apparently written by Dan Valentine and found in the book, "American Essays: Sentimental Classics Designed to Make the Heart Sing".

I Trust You'll Treat Her Well World, I bequeath to you today one little girl in a crispy dress.. with two blue eyes...and a happy laugh that ripples all day long, and a batch of light blonde hair that bounces in the sunlight when she runs. I Trust You'll Treat Her Well. She's slipping out of the backyard of my heart this morning and skipping off down the street to her first day at school. And never again will she be completely mine... Prim and proud, she'll wave a young and independent hand this morning, and say goodbye and walk with little-lady steps to the nearby schoolhouse... Gone will be the chattering little hoyden who lived only for play, and gone will be the delightful little gamin who roamed the yard like a proud princess with nary a care in her little world. Now, she will learn to stand in lines...and wait by the alphabet for her name to be called... She will learn to tune her little-girl ears for the sound of school bells, and for deadlines... She will learn to giggle and gossip... and to look at the ceiling in a disinterested way when the little boy across the aisle sticks out his tongue. Now she will learn to be jealous...and now she will learn how it is to feel hurt inside...and now she will learn how not to cry.  No longer will she have time to sit on the front porch steps on a summer day and watch while an ant scurries across a crack in the sidewalk... Or will she have time to pop out of bed with the dawn to kiss lilac blossoms in the morning dew.  Now she will worry about important things...like grades...and what dresses to wear...and whose best friend is whose.  Now she will worry about the little boy who pulls her hair at recess time... and staying after school...and which little girls like which little boys...And the magic of books and knowledge will soon take the place of the magic of her blocks and dolls.  And she'll find her new heroes.  For five full years I've been her sage and Santa Claus...her pal and playmate...her parent and friend.  Now, alas, she'll learn to share her worship and adoration with her teachers (which is only right). No longer will her parents be the smartest, and greatest in the world. Today, when the first school bell rings, she'll learn how it is to be a member of the group...with all its privileges, and, of course, its disadvantages, too.  She'll learn in time that proper young ladies don't laugh out loud...or keep frogs in pickle jars in bedrooms...or watch ants scurry across the cracks in a summer sidewalk... Today, she'll begin to learn for the first time that all who smile at her are not her friends. That "the group" can be a demanding mistress... and I'll stand on the porch and watch her start out on the long, long journey to becoming a woman. So WORLD, I BEQUEATH TO YOU TODAY ONE LITTLE GIRL in a crispy dress, with two blue eyes, a happy laugh that ripples all day long, and a batch of light blonde hair that bounces in the sunlight when she runs. I TRUST YOU'LL TREAT HER WELL.

Back to School for the Class of 2026!

August 21 was a momentous day; Jack and Anna started Kindergarten!  We had been counting down the days with great anticipation.  Unfortunately, there was no back-to-school night or special Kindergarten orientation, which was a bit disappointing.  Nonetheless, everyone was excited.  They loved picking out their school supplies and looking over the lunch menu.  On August 20th, we got to go and see their classrooms and meet their teachers.  They were both nervous about being apart and didn't understand why they couldn't be in the same class.  Anna decided that boys and girls must be in different classes.  I am not sure how long she was operating under this assumption, but when she learned that wasn't the case, she got especially angry. We could have requested the same class for them, but we felt it would be good for them to be separated.  I don't mind that they rely on one another and I like that they can bring each other comfort.  However, they also make each bold.  There was more than one occasion in Pre-K where they got in trouble for "defending" the other (i.e. Anna shouting at her teacher, "you can't talk to my brother that way!").  I also thought it would be nice for them to have their own stories; there were many days where they fought over who got to tell us about something special that happened.

Back to orientation.  Both of their teachers seemed very nice and had warm, inviting classrooms.  We also learned that Anna and Jack's classes would have lunch at the same time.  Jack has to sit at the peanut free table and we got permission for Anna to sit there as well.  They also have recess together.  It makes me feel better knowing that they will see each other during their day.

I was afraid they would have trouble waking up, but everyone was up when I went into their rooms at 7:10. We had laid out clothes the night before and they quickly got dressed and went downstairs for breakfast. Jack ate his usual (enormous) amount.  Anna asked for toast, but couldn't finish it.  She said her tummy was too nervous.  Jack ate it for her.  We were out the door and taking pictures by 7:50.  One of our neighbors was walking by and took the below shot of the 3 of us.

I took lots of pictures.  Pictures of just Jack.  Pictures of just Anna.  Pictures of Jack and Anna.  Pictures of Jack, Anna, and Kara.  We had a good time.

Then, we made our way down to the bus stop.  Let me just say for the one millionth time--I love living in a neighborhood!  There are 5 kids (counting J & A) starting kindergarten this year (there is actually 6, but one of them is going to a private school).  Everyone got to the bus stop early and we did more pictures.

For this one, they let the little brothers and sisters join in.  Kara was a somewhat reluctant participant.  I think she was feeling pretty left out.

Then, the bus arrived.  Anna was still nervous, but also excited.  I think a bit of nervousness finally hit Jack who gave me a big hug and announced he was really going to miss me.  I walked them onto the bus and waved and waved.  I couldn't see Anna, but Jack waved and blew me a kiss.  He kept waving until I couldn't see them anymore.   I didn't think I would be a mom that cried, and I didn't.  However, I did come very close and I felt sad.  Very sad.  I realized it's not about missing them (which I did), because I was excited to have some quiet(er) time, but it was more about the end of one stage and the beginning of another.

Here comes the bus!

They looked so small  :(

After Jack and Anna left, it was just me and Kara.  She was lonely without them.  We did a puzzle together, played, watched some t.v. (something we never do during the week in the middle of the day).  Then, we met Thomas for lunch.  We took Kara to a Japanese Steakhouse.  We thought she would love it and wanted to do something nice, since she was feeling so left-out.  We thought wrong.  She was very scared of the fire. But, she enjoyed the food and the little fan they put in her apple juice and said she would like to go back.

We had Kara's Pre-K orientation (class of 2027 blog to follow) and finally it was time to go and greet J & A.  We were so excited.  I could not wait to hear about their day.  I met them at the door of the bus and they both bounded off excitedly.  

Anna announced, happily, "I LOVED it!!!"  Jack was not quite as enthusiastic, but he had good things to say.  Anna's favorite part of the day was, "going through the lunch line and buying lunch."  Jack liked that he got to play a lot.  They both said their teachers were nice.  Jack already made a frenemy.  He played with a little boy, but then Jack knocked over the boys blocks and the boy told him he was going to "get his 10 brothers to beat him up and wasn't going to be his friend."  We'll keep an eye (ear) on that situation.  Fortunately, Jack didn't seem too bothered.  In fact, this detail was shared well into the evening.

We gave them some options to celebrate: go out to dinner, go out for ice cream,  make cupcakes, or have ice cream sundaes at home.  After some debate, they chose to go to Red Robin.  That is also where they chose to celebrate their Pre-K graduation.  Of course, this one was for Kara too, since she had her orientation and would officially start the next day.  

It was a very eventful, exciting and emotional day.

Monkey Monk, Yellow, and Chickie

All 3 children with their special items.

Like most children, each of our kids has a comfort item.  Anna has Yellow blankie, Jack has Monkey Monk (stuffed animal), and Kara has Chickie and Stripe (blankets).  Monkey Monk was created at Build-a-Bear by Jack on his first birthday.  Jack will choose Monkey Monk as his companion for out-of-town trips and often sleeps with him, but he does not rely on him for comfort.  If we were to forget to bring Monkey Monk on vacation, Jack would not lose any sleep over it.

Next on the attachment scale is Anna.  She sleeps with Yellow every night.  However, Yellow typically stays in her bed during the day.  Occasionally, she will grab him if she is watching a movie or wants him to accompany her on a local car ride. If we went on vacation without Yellow, I think Anna would be upset, but would be able to sleep without much trouble.  Yellow was her nap blanket when she was in daycare and has been her blanket/comfort item of choice since she was around 2.

Finally, there's Kara.  Kara relies heavily on Chickie and Stripe.  Now that she has reached the ripe old age of 4.5, she has gotten slightly less needy.  She used to need a blanket to hold if she was in time-out or in the car.   She wouldn't even let me wash them--I would have to sneak them away to put them in the washing machine.  Although she frequently still brings one in the car, she no longer cries if she forgets. There have even been nights where she has almost gone to sleep without realizing her precious blankies were downstairs. They are also somewhat interchangeable.  At the moment she prefers Chickie to Stripe, but she will take either in a pinch.  After we sold our house in Mechanicsville, Chickie accidentally got packed.  When the movers came, I took everything we wanted to bring to Florida and put it in a special pile that the movers knew not to pack.  However, Kara had taken Chickie out, walked around with him, and apparently left him somewhere. Fortunately, we still had Stripe.  After a brief period of panic, she asked if we could all refer to Stripe as "Chickie," which we did.  Stripe, now known as Chickie, was fully accepted and her constant companion while we were between houses. When we arrived at our new house, two months later, and unpacked the real Chickie, Stripe was again relegated to back-up status.

Chickie and Stripe were baby gifts for Jack and Anna.  I can't remember exactly when they became Kara's companions.  I believe that she started carrying them around as soon as she could walk.  They are now in pretty rough shape, especially Chickie, which has holes that I can't figure out how to patch or sew.  We have let her pick out replacements, but we can't find the exact blankets and although she is always happy to let us buy her a new one, none have served as adequate replacements.  There have been numerous nights where Thomas and I have spent many minutes searching for Chickie or Stripe at bedtime.  Once, Chickie somehow found his way into an old backpack, which got placed in our basement closet.  We went weeks without him and when we did finally come across him, it was a very happy day in the Wilson house. Thankfully, we have never lost both Chickie and Stripe at the same time.

Although she is attached and relies on the blankets, especially at night, we have never let any of the kids bring their items out of the house or car, unless we are going somewhere overnight.  On rare occasion, we have made an exception.  For example, we were looking at a house and Kara insisted on bringing Chickie in.  Of course, she then left it there and we had to call the Realtor and arrange to get back into the house which, fortunately, was empty.

As mentioned, the kids are growing more independent by the day.  I imagine it won't be long before they all easily forgo their comfort items.   I wanted to make sure I captured these moments of innocence before they became a thing of the past.  With Jack and Anna starting Kindergarten and Kara beginning Pre-K this week, I am feeling nostalgic.  I love the age they are now and while I know that each stage brings its own benefits (and challenges), it is hard to leave this sweet, sweet stage behind.  I love that Kara loves Chickie.  I will probably miss seeing her with her blankie far more than she ever will.

Chickie modeled by Jack (Kara would never stand for this now).

A close-up of Stripe, pre-holes.  Shown here with Anna.

Kara and Stripe

Anna sleeping peacefully, thanks to Yellow.

A more recent shot of Kara and Chickie

Just for old time's sake: Jack and Anna with Chickie and Stripe

My Favorite Facebook Statuses

The other night when I couldn't sleep, I found myself perusing my own Facebook wall.  There were many captured moments that I had completely forgotten.  I decided to do a blog with my favorites to ensure those moments are not lost.  (this kind of makes me think of sitcom clip shows).  With much consideration (much being pretty relative), my top 5 are written in red.

Joined Facebook:  November 10, 2007  (I think I was too busy until late 2009, you know with 3 kids under the age of 2 to post much).

September 14, 2009:  I find it really amusing that Anna (who will be 2 next month) has taken to calling Thomas, "Daddy Thomas".

October 25, 2009:  Has anyone else had a toddler that went through a scared of everything stage? For example, this morning, we are eating breakfast, Anna looks out the window and sees a bird. Yes, a bird. She immediately starts whining "Anna don't like it, Anna don't like the bird." She then gets down from the table and leaves the room. Jack likes this stage, he got to eat her yogurt.

July 16, 2010:  Anna and Jack were very excited when Thomas asked them if they wanted to watch the Tigers and Indians play baseball. Their excitement quickly turned to disappointment, followed by anger when not a single tiger or Indian took the field. Yo Gabba Gabba is now being shown in place of the game.

July 24, 2010:  Is very excited! Thomas got a job in Maryland. About 8 more weeks in Tennessee and then we move again (hopefully for the last time in a long time).

October 25, 2010:  Misses being paid to deal with difficult people (currently 3 year olds, previously adults who acted like 3 year olds).

December 24, 2010:  NORAD shows Santa just left Italy. Thankfully, his sack still looks plenty full. There will be hell to pay in the Wilson house if there's no princess clock and Zurg in there!

January 9, 2011: Had some new friends over for dinner tonight. Within 5 minutes of their arrival, I was removing charred bread from the oven while the sounds of the smoke detectors echoed throughout the entire house.

April 7, 2011:  Pondering the irony of Anna fighting with her imaginary friend while insisting said friend is "crazy."

August 14, 2011: Anna was arguing with me about how much time was left for nap. I told her 20 minutes. She started crying that 20 minutes was way too long. I asked her long she thought it should be and she said one hour. I told her we had a deal.

August 28, 2011:  Power just came on! So excited, it was getting really warm in here. Appreciative of the SMECO workers who have been working to restore power to over 108K households. Glad we weren't 107999 on the list and feeling bad for the neighborhood that is.

September 3, 2011:  I told the kids today, "you know my sole purpose in life is not to serve you, I know it may seem that way, but it's really not." Jack responded, "Mommy, that's not the truth." Such is my life.

September 17, 2011:  I love that Jack gets himself dressed so easily. But, we're on the fourth wardrobe change of the day. Every time I look at him, he's wearing something different. It's like he's hosting the Oscars or something.

September 30, 2011: Kara's response when I tell her I am not going to pick her up is, "but I can't carry myself!". Umm, isn't that called walking???

November 9, 2011:  Kara, who is currently wearing a Tinkerbell costume, has been crying hysterically for almost 10 minutes because she "can't fly.". Not sure why this realization is just now kicking in or what to do with her. However, my saying, "that's true," only further inflamed the situation.

December 28, 2011:  Anyone want a child? Anna would like to move in with someone who, "won't force me to clean-up." I told her I didn't know of any such place, but we could ask around.

January 10, 2012:  Jack and I were talking about college today. I said to him, "did you know I went to college for 7 years!" Far from being impressed, he replied, "and what do you do?" Excellent question my son, excellent question.

April 16, 2012:  Kara (my 3-year old) just got angry with me and said, "I'm not gonna be your best friend anymore...and I don't like your shirt!

May 22, 2012:  Okay, I can't resist a second child quote of the day. "Anna: I saw an animal out my window. It wasn't a rabbit. I think it was a bear. A small bear. Or, maybe a beaver.

May 28, 2012:  Has a vastly different idea of the meaning "easy to sew," compared with Simplicity's. (present day note--I was trying to make Kara's Drizella costume for Disney World).

August 24, 2012: 9 minutes into our 16-hour drive and Kara just commented, "you're right, Daddy, this is a long drive!" #prayforus 

September 13, 2012:  Overheard conversation between Thomas and Anna:
Anna: We get to have Mommy days at preschool.
Thomas: That sounds fun.
Anna: Yeah, and my boyfriend gets to have a Daddy day.
Thomas: Wait, your what?
Anna: My boyfriend. He gets to have a Daddy day.
Thomas: Anna, you do not have a boyfriend.
Anna: Daddy, he's just some guy at preschool.

Can't wait to see what things are like 10 years from now.


October 12, 2012 (posted by my friend Mary Yakovets after a Florida play/lunch date that ended in a tantrum):  So did you put the hooligans down for a nap? Jack was so mad..."I want to go back home to AMERICA!!!" He's ready to escape this axis of evil down here.

October 20, 2012:  Spending our last night in Florida in tents. But, we're at Fort Wilderness so there's not much "roughing it" involved. 

November 13, 2012:  Jack is worried about this whole Christmas thing because, as he readily admits, "it's just really hard for me to be good."

November 23, 2012:  Jack just told my father to, "tell your daughter to stop calling me Jack Attack."

January 13, 2013:  After a particularly trying day, I pulled a couple of my parenting books off the shelf. I opened one, only to discover what happened to my missing stamps. Is it ironic that my kids have defaced a book that is supposed to help me learn how to help them not do that sort of thing???

February 11, 2013: I asked Kara what she wanted for her birthday dinner tomorrow. Her response? "What we had on Thanksgiving." That's a new one.

March 7, 2013:  We are finally into double digits on Thomas' deployment. 178 days down, 99 to go!

March 17, 2013:  Breakfast of champions--green milk and Lucky Charms. Happy St. Patrick's Day!

April 25, 2013: Kara (4) has been talking nonstop all afternoon. I just said to her, "Kara, you sure are talkative today." Her response, "that's because I am a scientist and I need to tell you lots of stuff, so you'll learn it."

May 9, 2013: Eating the "kitchen sink" at Disney's Beach Club.

July 27, 2013:  Anna: I'm stuffed!
Kara: what does that mean?
Anna: it's a polite way of saying you're full.