Personality Tests

Recently, our office spent a day doing Emergenetics. Similar to the Myers Briggs (INTJ) and other personality profiling (Red), I wasn't expecting to gain much insight during the process and I didn't. But, I did enjoy a day out of the office and self-exploration is generally an interesting way to spend a few hours. This particular test divides your personality into 4 areas: Structural, Analytical, Social and Conceptual. I was 64% Structural,  24% Analytical, 8% Social and 4% Conceptual. This means that I am governed by rules and numbers. This is similar to the majority of the population, although my structural (rules based) is considerably higher than the average and my social and conceptual considerably lower.

The other part of the test provided a scale of three qualities on a spectrum. I scored at the far left on the expressiveness scale, meaning I am much more quiet than gregarious. On the assertiveness scale, I was more easygoing than driving (which surprised me) and the last scale said I am focused and not welcoming to change.

Thomas scored similarly to me in all areas. It was nice that he got to take the test, although I think I could have accurately predicted his results. As we went through the day, I found myself wondering about my children. Where do they fall on these various scales and how does that affect our interactions? The older, and more introspective, I get, the more I realize how strong the "nature" aspect of personality is. When I was younger, I genuinely did not understand that two people could have the same experience and perceive it in two completely different ways. That is still something I struggle with. And, if people have different perceptions, then they have a different reality. So, how I parent one child may be ineffective for another. Understanding this, and putting into action, particularly when I have my own personality preferences, does not come naturally to me.

On a somewhat related note, in the class they gave an example of a group wanting to go to lunch. What would one person do when the group they were with wanted Italian when they really wanted Thai? Some personalities would work hard to change the mind of the group, some would go along with the group happily, convinced that Italian really was the best option after all. Some would vocalize their displeasure and others would be silent. I know exactly what I would do--I wouldn't try to change the group's mind, and if it really mattered to me, I would leave the group and go get the Thai. I know this is true because this exact situation happened to me recently. I was with coworkers at a symposium at National Harbor. When discussing lunch options, one person mentioned Chinese and the group as a whole nodded in agreement. When asked if I was going to join in, I simply responded negatively, that instead I was going to get a lobster roll. I had walked by the lobster roll place the day before and had decided that I would visit for lunch the following day. I didn't try to convince anyone to join me (although, I would have been fine if someone did); I wasn't swayed by the fact that I would be dining alone and the only one not eating with the group.

I didn't think much of it at the time, but when the example came up in class, I realized that not everyone would react the same way. And, my personality test had accurately predicted those very results! It is very interesting to me to realize that someone who really wanted Thai food would eat Italian just to be part of a group, just like it is probably very interesting to another personality type that someone would forgo the social interaction of a group lunch and eat alone just because they preferred a different type of restaurant (especially considering I like Chinese food). My expectation is generally that people will react and behave in the same manner I would and it was a good reminder that I need to be conscientious of innate differences.

Overall, I am content with who I am. Although, I do wish I was a bit more social. I wish I was better at maintaining friendships and I wish I knew more of the right things to say.  I also know I lack some other basic social skills. I am not thoughtful, even though I want to be, I am terrible at acknowledging birthdays and special occasions (except with my kids, but that is easy). And, I am lousy listener. It is often hard for me to tune in to what others are saying.  But, I am very loyal and a great secret keeper and I try very hard not to gossip and to be kind.

On the one hand, it is nice to have justification for the things I need to work on. On the other hand, I know logically it is just an excuse. So, while I didn't gain any insight, I did get a much-needed reminder to be patient with myself and those around me.

And that, my friends, concludes today's inner thoughts.