Packing and Moving

Moving is really expensive. Hello Captain Obvious, right? However, knowing this and actually seeing the numbers on paper are two different things. Originally we planned a full-service move that included packing. And, it cost about what we anticipated, maybe even a little less, however, after getting the estimates, I decided that I wanted to save the packing costs. I reasoned that those costs alone could purchase us annual passes at Disney World. So, I set off on a path to pack up our 4500 square foot house. Thomas helped initially, but since he left for Florida weeks before I did, I was mostly on my own. I wanted to go through all our things in an attempt to downsize. Our Florida house is significantly smaller and has very little storage. So, we really needed to get rid on things. Purging was theme of the month.

For those who are reading this because they are planning  a move, or just curious, the cost of the movers was about $7000, for the 850 miles move. UBox from UHaul would have been around $5500, but they had a two to three week transit time! The other box/cube companies were also around $7000, but you don't get the other services, so for us, a moving company made the most sense. Of the three estimates, two were right around the 7K mark, one was at 9K. Obviously, we went with one of the lower estimates.  I only contacted reputable companies with decent reviews (Wheaton, Allied and Atlas). The packing estimate, which included all supplies and labor was an additional $3500. The $7000 included furniture disassembly, loading of the truck, unloading and reassembly (so, a much better bargain than UPack). I could have hired packers separately from hireahelper or the UHaul website for around $1000. For this option, I would only have to purchase moving supplies; the people I hired, generally from a local moving company, would supply the labor, but for some reason that felt very complicated. I was nervous to wait until the end to have packers arrive, just in case, but I also didn't want to live in an empty house any longer than necessary. I am sure it would have been fine, but as mentioned, I also really wanted to go through our stuff and doing the packing ourselves seemed like the best way to accomplish that goal.

For those who want a full-service move, I would definitely recommend parsing out the loading and transport from the packing.  Also, for anyone who is curious, UHaul had the best boxes at the best prices. The moving company sold used boxes, but with the exception of the wardrobe boxes, their used prices were higher than UHauls new prices! I had boxes from a local moving company, Lowe's, and UHaul. (I did not have Home Depot boxes which are also supposed to be really good because there wasn't one nearby, but I can definitely vouch for UHaul).

I ended up spending about $200 on moving supplies. I got several boxes, including all our wardrobe boxes from neighbors and a military family I found through Facebook Marketplace. But, I still needed to purchase more boxes, wrapping paper, tape, etc. And, even though I started weeks in advance, it  took a lot more effort than I anticipated. I packed every night after work for weeks and the kids helped do their rooms and the basement, but there was still so. much. stuff! I also sold a lot on Facebook and gave tons away. It felt never ending.

Anna working in her room

The office was our inital staging room.

I took one day off work to devote completely to packing and Alecia and Michelle came to help. It was the last day before the truck arrived and all that was really left was two tvs, most of the kitchen, the computer equipment, and all the other last minute stuff. I figured it would take all day and well into the night. We got the kitchen, tv, and computer area packed in a few hours and I realized that I really should have asked for help much sooner. Lots of people offered and they probably meant it, but I knew that I could rely on Alecia and I was comfortable asking her for help. She and Michelle were awesome packers and they saved me hours and hours. 

Wheaton charged $188 to pack each tv and we hired them to do our curved tv. I bought $20 tv box kits at UHaul for our other two, but of course, I needed help to get them boxed. And, in the funnest moving fact ever: when we moved into our house in 2012, Thomas was deployed. And, two friends, Josh and Matt, came and mounted our tv over the fireplace. We later moved that tv to the basement. And, it was one of the two that needed to be packed. As I mentioned, Alecia and Michelle were the ones to help me. Josh and Matt are the husbands of Alecia and Michelle! It felt very full circle. Anyway, I was very thankful for their help. And, even though it felt like we had just about everything done, all the last minute items meant I was still up until about midnight. But, I would have been up literally all night if they hadn't come to help. And, I took the day at a more leisurely pace. I also kept running out of boxes. I don't even know how it happened, but I would think I was done and then something else would pop up. Fortunately, there was a neighbor who had just moved in who offered boxes. I walked up his driveway at 10pm to grab what I thought were my final 5. Of course, I used all those and ended up walking up his driveway again in the morning for another 5.  

From the basement. This is primarily the playroom, games and movies. In the right corner you can see one of our tv boxes. The $20 box did the trick, both tvs arrived in perfect condition.

The master bedroom. I should contrast this with the "for sale" picture of this room. 

It really is insane how much stuff we have. It feels very gluttonous. In addition to everything we rehomed, we also threw out dozens of bags of trash. But, we still had so many boxes of belongings. Every room in the house had several. I found myself thinking that with a few small exceptions, I wouldn't mind if the moving truck caught on fire and we had to start all over. I think I could happily be a minimalist or maybe a mediumalist. I think of Little House on the Prairie and how Laura treated her precious doll. It was all she had so it meant so much to her. We have too much; we tried hard to pare it down, and we had some success, but there is still too much. 

Tangent over. Wednesday was moving day! The truck arrived at 930. They had another job cancel, so they sent 6 movers. It still took them until about 4pm. I picked up Luke from daycare so he could see their big truck, he was very curious about the move, and we all waved goodbye to our stuff. In a fantastic turn off luck, they lined up another Florida job for Saturday, which meant they dropped off our stuff on Friday. So, Thomas was on his own, since I drove with the kids on Friday and Saturday. More on that to come.

Goodbye truck! Spoiler alert--our belongings did not catch fire.

Saying Goodbye

Saying goodbye is not easy. It is one of my least favorite things to do. I try to avoid it all costs, which is more easily done when you aren’t the one leaving. Apparently, not everyone shares my aversion, so we have been saying farewell a lot recently. And, to be clear my attempted avoidance is not because I won't miss my friends here, it is because I will miss them and I don't want to directly acknowledge that we are leaving. But, we are leaving and we have had to say many hard farewells.

The first came when we had our May dinner at the Darrow’s. They were among our first friends in Maryland and have been the most enduring friendship we’ve had here. When we met, we had 5 kids between us. Now, there are 8. We both moved into new homes and have had job changes and other significant life experiences. Our kids match up fairly well in age and since we each have 4, everyone has a friend.  Our husbands both like sports and generally can find things to talk about, and Alecia has been one of my best friends now for close a decade. Ugh, I am getting teary just writing this! See, I told you I hate goodbyes!

The first photo evidence I could find of our friendship, May 2011. A playdate at our house with friends, including the Darrows.  Jack and Anna were 3 and Kara was 2. Which means Lily was likely 2 and Curtis was 1.

Anyway, we had dinner with them and it was sad for all of us. Although, I knew I would likely see Alecia again before we departed, but more on that later.

Our next goodbye came when we had dinner with the Reeves. They are newer friends--we met when Michelle and I did scenery together on the school play a few years ago.  More recently, we taught a Harry Potter LEAP together. She has a fifth grader who loves most of the same things my older kids love and they have spent lots of time playing games and discussing their latest literary finds. We had a fun dinner at Nicolettis. They are an adventurous family and I am confident we will see them again.

After the Reeves, my neighborhood bookclub had a get together to say farewell to me and another friend who is moving. We played bunco and ate good food and didn’t discuss any books, which is not rare for our bookclub.

Then, came the work goodbyes. It was hard to say farewell to the group I spend 8+ hours with each day. I really like all my coworkers. They are an awesome, helpful bunch. My immediate supervisor, Robin, is one of the best people I know. She is smart and friendly and helpful. And, I am afraid I may flounder a bit in my new job without her in the office next to mine. We had a cookie party and they gave me a really nice card and a WaWa gift card. I have never dreaded going to work and I firmly believe that 99% of that is because of how much I enjoy the company of my coworkers.

Oh, and since Thomas isn’t here to write about his work goodbye, his coworkers, who are almost as awesome as mine, gave him a very sweet, very Thomas farewell. He was insistent he didn’t want to do anything, so they agreed to just do their quarterly team-building at the bowling alley before he left. But, they turned it into a “this is not a party for Thomas” party. They had buttons with his face on them and a cake with a sign that said, “this is not a farewell cake for Thomas”. It was amazingly well-done and he was very touched. Anyone who knows Thomas knows that he hates social gatherings, and especially social gatherings where he is the focus of attention, but these wonderful people have known him for close to a decade and they knew what he would like. They kept it to just his office and had many kind things to say. And, he also got a WaWa giftcard. Score!

Last night (which was really many nights ago since we've been without internet), we went to dinner with Kayce, Kelly and all our kids (party of 11!). We went to Salsa’s and it was really nice.  Kayce has been the best neighbor! Our kids love each other like siblings. In fact, I am pretty sure that Luke thinks he is a sibling, or at least another cousin. He walks in like he owns the place, has a regular snack routine and hates it when a day goes by that he doesn’t see his friend Ben. Our families are completely comfortable with one another. We have so many memories together. Kolten was just a baby and Ben and Luke were barely a thought when we met. We have vacationed together (twice, not counting several GWL trips; and we’ve got at least two more in the works!), borrowed countless items; and helped each other through life’s trials. I am going to miss them so much! It is a comforting feeling to have someone so close, both physically and emotionally. Kelly is Kayce's sister and while we didn't interact quite as much, based on sheer proximity, she was also a good friend who I am going to miss greatly. They are both smart, fun women and I am looking forward to hosting them in Florida.

Of course, there are more goodbyes coming. Jack and Anna have been with their teacher, Ms. Molina, for two years now. They adore her and she has been so good for them. The other 5^th grade teacher, Mrs. Alanis, has also made a big impact in their lives. I know it will be hard for them to say those goodbyes tomorrow. And, of course, they have all their friends. Having made a similar move when I was their age, I know what it is like and I know how challenging the months ahead will be for all of us.

And, since we were without internet, I am finishing this blog up from our Orlando house, meaning all the goodbyes are over. The kids had a phenomenal last day at school. Ms. Molina had a surprise party for Jack and Anna. She made them cupcakes and going away gifts. They had cards signed by their classmates and were hugged goodbye. Even Anna's nemesis was nice to her and told Anna that she was sorry they had so much difficulty getting along. They left on a very high note. Kara got everyone's phone number and also felt the love in her class. Even Luke received a going away book, with letters written by his teachers, who wrote the sweetest things!

Our last difficult goodbye was with the Wills. As mentioned, we had dinner with Kayce and Kelly and the kids on Wednesday night. But, we said our last goodbyes on Friday morning. We are going to miss them so much!

So, the moral of this post is that goodbyes are awful and should be avoided at all costs. The second moral is that when you don’t have family nearby—it’s good to rely on friends and to allow them to step into the roles that family would traditionally fill. And, to put yourself out there and be the ones that others can rely on. We have built a nice tribe here and I am going to miss it tremendously. 

Me and the kids will physically leave for Florida tomorrow. Thomas has been there for about two weeks. It has been a very busy two weeks and there is a lot more I want to write about to memorialize. As a reminder for myself—the birds nest, packing, and moving day. But, that will conclude these sad, sad thoughts for today.

Luke's a Graduate (of Pre-K)

Friday was Luke's graduation day. The first thing that hit me was how much easier it is to prepare a boy than a girl. All he had to do was take a shower and find some clothes. His teacher had told him to wear "play clothes". He was not familiar with the term and kept telling me he had to find play clothes. I am not sure what he was picturing, but it definitely made it easy. I imagine they did not want them to be too hot under their robes.

Although graduation fell on a day I would normally have off, I had to telework. Monday is my last day and I feel like there is still so much to do. I have been waking up at 4:30 lately, so I got up and got started. I do love teleworking. I get a lot more done without the distractions in the office and it is nice to do it from my couch in shorts and a t-shirt. So, I worked from about 4:30am to 12:15 and then put on some real clothes for graduation. I felt bad that it was only me going. Thomas is in Florida and since they are missing the last 3 weeks of school, I didn't want to push my luck pulling the kids out of school, especially since the girls had gone on a chorus field trip the day before. And Anna had missed Monday afternoon for a doctor's appointment.

I got there about 30 minutes early and got an okay seat. The place was packed, most kids seemed to have lots of relatives in attendance. It made me think of Florida and the hope that if we were there, Luke would have more people in the crowd to cheer for him. Of course, I think my dad would find it torturous to drive an hour to sit through a preschool graduation. And, Kim and Kevin would have been at work. But, I could see Marta taking the day off and actually wanting to come. Luke definitely was sad that it was just me. He came home very excited on Thursday, because Ms. Debbie had told him that all siblings could attend. Then, he saw our neighbors outside and wanted to invite them. It made me sad. But, I took lots of video to share with everyone.

The kids came out in their caps and gowns and they looked so big compared to where they were and so small compared to where they will be. Each kid go a turn to shine. Luke's moment was as Monkey #5 in the the monkey teasing alligator song. He was up there dancing and loudly singing. It was adorable. He was the most animated monkey and I hope he remains uninhibited and enthusiastic. I know it is not likely, but one can hope!

They sang their songs and collected their diplomas. Then, there was cake and a slideshow. It was very well done. I was impressed with his preschool. He learned a lot. He can count past 100, do basic addition and subtraction, he knows all his letters and their sounds, and reads lots of sight words. He is very well prepared for Kindergarten. And, he enjoyed going. Except he hated taking a nap every day. It was the only sore point for him. But, he liked the learning and the playing and the teachers. His main teacher, Ms. Debbie, told me he is wonderful. She said that she wished she had 20 of him and that she frequently finds herself telling the class to "do what Luke is doing."  She said he catches on to everything so quickly and is just such a sweet boy. I agree with all of that! I love my little Lukey!

Hard to believe I have attended my last pre-K graduation!

In his "play clothes"

Moving

After an extremely tumultuous few weeks I believe everything is finally in line for the purchase of our house in Orlando. We were supposed to close on April 22, but the bank wouldn't close until we had official offer letters from the Orlando HR office. That office is terrible! There are many steps in the process, some of which they have no control over. However, that doesn't negate the complete lack of communication or response to phone calls and e-mails. In short, the transfer is approved at one office, they send it to Orlando (little HR) who sends it to big HR. Big HR takes 3-5 days then sends it back to Orlando who sends it to security to check our clearances then returns it to little HR and then they can issue the letter. This requires a lot of communication on the part of little HR, which I understand. However, I spoke to them on April 18th and when they described the process, she indicated she would expedite it, so even though we weren't going to make the April 22 date I was confident we would make the new date of May 2.

Well, I learned on May 2 that the paperwork was still at the main office waiting initial approval. And, no one told me! I had talked to them on the 18th and left numerous messages and sent several e-mails--all of which were ignored. If she had told me the status, I could have talked to our local office and asked them to make an inquiry (which is what they are doing now). I could write 20 pages on how frustrating this has been. But, the utter lack of communication is inexcusable. Fortunately, we got our future supervisor to sign a letter explaining the status and the bank agreed on Friday night that we could move forward. So, I believe that May 10th is the new day. Which is great, because the sellers were getting (understandably) very annoyed and in order to give us the second delay, they wanted a non-refundable penalty deposit if we couldn't make the new date (which before we knew the bank would take the letter was unlikely).

Now, we are hoping things go smoothly on both ends. We are set to close on the Orlando house on May 10, and the Maryland house on May 24. It is going to be a stressful few weeks! The kids are going to miss the last 3 weeks of school here. I was willing to stay and make it work for a few weeks, mainly so Jack and Anna could participate in their 5th grade graduation, but they would rather get to Florida as quickly as fast as possible. School there gets out in May and starts in early August, so if they stayed here, it would be a really short summer.

As I'm surrounded by boxes, the reality has finally set in. We are leaving. It is what I want. But, I also don't want to go. I know that is contradictory. But, so are my emotions. I am excited to be close to my family and for a new adventure. However, we have been here for almost 9 years. We have been in this house for almost 7, which is longer than I have ever lived in any house. Ever. And, it is an amazing house in a great neighborhood. And, the kids are happy. They have been in the same school since Kindergarten, something Thomas and I never had. Thomas is happy, he loves his job and Maryland. I love my job and I like Maryland. So, I am also very sad. Happy and sad. Excited and scared. It is a crazy mix of emotions. I just want to get to relieved. It will be a happy day when all the work of moving is done. And, it is so much work. I think people should go through their belongs more than once every decade. Hopefully, I will remember that.

So, wish us luck--all these changes mean we are going to need it!