Saying Goodbye

Saying goodbye is not easy. It is one of my least favorite things to do. I try to avoid it all costs, which is more easily done when you aren’t the one leaving. Apparently, not everyone shares my aversion, so we have been saying farewell a lot recently. And, to be clear my attempted avoidance is not because I won't miss my friends here, it is because I will miss them and I don't want to directly acknowledge that we are leaving. But, we are leaving and we have had to say many hard farewells.

The first came when we had our May dinner at the Darrow’s. They were among our first friends in Maryland and have been the most enduring friendship we’ve had here. When we met, we had 5 kids between us. Now, there are 8. We both moved into new homes and have had job changes and other significant life experiences. Our kids match up fairly well in age and since we each have 4, everyone has a friend.  Our husbands both like sports and generally can find things to talk about, and Alecia has been one of my best friends now for close a decade. Ugh, I am getting teary just writing this! See, I told you I hate goodbyes!

The first photo evidence I could find of our friendship, May 2011. A playdate at our house with friends, including the Darrows.  Jack and Anna were 3 and Kara was 2. Which means Lily was likely 2 and Curtis was 1.

Anyway, we had dinner with them and it was sad for all of us. Although, I knew I would likely see Alecia again before we departed, but more on that later.

Our next goodbye came when we had dinner with the Reeves. They are newer friends--we met when Michelle and I did scenery together on the school play a few years ago.  More recently, we taught a Harry Potter LEAP together. She has a fifth grader who loves most of the same things my older kids love and they have spent lots of time playing games and discussing their latest literary finds. We had a fun dinner at Nicolettis. They are an adventurous family and I am confident we will see them again.

After the Reeves, my neighborhood bookclub had a get together to say farewell to me and another friend who is moving. We played bunco and ate good food and didn’t discuss any books, which is not rare for our bookclub.

Then, came the work goodbyes. It was hard to say farewell to the group I spend 8+ hours with each day. I really like all my coworkers. They are an awesome, helpful bunch. My immediate supervisor, Robin, is one of the best people I know. She is smart and friendly and helpful. And, I am afraid I may flounder a bit in my new job without her in the office next to mine. We had a cookie party and they gave me a really nice card and a WaWa gift card. I have never dreaded going to work and I firmly believe that 99% of that is because of how much I enjoy the company of my coworkers.

Oh, and since Thomas isn’t here to write about his work goodbye, his coworkers, who are almost as awesome as mine, gave him a very sweet, very Thomas farewell. He was insistent he didn’t want to do anything, so they agreed to just do their quarterly team-building at the bowling alley before he left. But, they turned it into a “this is not a party for Thomas” party. They had buttons with his face on them and a cake with a sign that said, “this is not a farewell cake for Thomas”. It was amazingly well-done and he was very touched. Anyone who knows Thomas knows that he hates social gatherings, and especially social gatherings where he is the focus of attention, but these wonderful people have known him for close to a decade and they knew what he would like. They kept it to just his office and had many kind things to say. And, he also got a WaWa giftcard. Score!

Last night (which was really many nights ago since we've been without internet), we went to dinner with Kayce, Kelly and all our kids (party of 11!). We went to Salsa’s and it was really nice.  Kayce has been the best neighbor! Our kids love each other like siblings. In fact, I am pretty sure that Luke thinks he is a sibling, or at least another cousin. He walks in like he owns the place, has a regular snack routine and hates it when a day goes by that he doesn’t see his friend Ben. Our families are completely comfortable with one another. We have so many memories together. Kolten was just a baby and Ben and Luke were barely a thought when we met. We have vacationed together (twice, not counting several GWL trips; and we’ve got at least two more in the works!), borrowed countless items; and helped each other through life’s trials. I am going to miss them so much! It is a comforting feeling to have someone so close, both physically and emotionally. Kelly is Kayce's sister and while we didn't interact quite as much, based on sheer proximity, she was also a good friend who I am going to miss greatly. They are both smart, fun women and I am looking forward to hosting them in Florida.

Of course, there are more goodbyes coming. Jack and Anna have been with their teacher, Ms. Molina, for two years now. They adore her and she has been so good for them. The other 5^th grade teacher, Mrs. Alanis, has also made a big impact in their lives. I know it will be hard for them to say those goodbyes tomorrow. And, of course, they have all their friends. Having made a similar move when I was their age, I know what it is like and I know how challenging the months ahead will be for all of us.

And, since we were without internet, I am finishing this blog up from our Orlando house, meaning all the goodbyes are over. The kids had a phenomenal last day at school. Ms. Molina had a surprise party for Jack and Anna. She made them cupcakes and going away gifts. They had cards signed by their classmates and were hugged goodbye. Even Anna's nemesis was nice to her and told Anna that she was sorry they had so much difficulty getting along. They left on a very high note. Kara got everyone's phone number and also felt the love in her class. Even Luke received a going away book, with letters written by his teachers, who wrote the sweetest things!

Our last difficult goodbye was with the Wills. As mentioned, we had dinner with Kayce and Kelly and the kids on Wednesday night. But, we said our last goodbyes on Friday morning. We are going to miss them so much!

So, the moral of this post is that goodbyes are awful and should be avoided at all costs. The second moral is that when you don’t have family nearby—it’s good to rely on friends and to allow them to step into the roles that family would traditionally fill. And, to put yourself out there and be the ones that others can rely on. We have built a nice tribe here and I am going to miss it tremendously. 

Me and the kids will physically leave for Florida tomorrow. Thomas has been there for about two weeks. It has been a very busy two weeks and there is a lot more I want to write about to memorialize. As a reminder for myself—the birds nest, packing, and moving day. But, that will conclude these sad, sad thoughts for today.