Falling Asleep

 This is going to be my most random post yet. Because, why not?

I love going to bed at night. Most of the time I can fall asleep easily, staying asleep is another story, but falling asleep is generally quick. Not always though. And, often, I enjoy those nights too, because I pick something to imagine and on the nights when I can't fall asleep, I can go a lot deeper into my fantasy. So, what are these fantasies? Well, I have a few that I rotate. 

Every now and then I buy a lottery ticket. I will only buy it if the prize is big and the lottery drawing is at least 3 nights away, and I happen to be in a gas station, so, in other words, not very often. But, when those events align and I buy a ticket, I spend the three nights thinking about what I would do if I won. If it is a really big drawing, I think about all the people I will put on a never-ending loop of receiving the maximum tax exempt amount each year (currently $16k). In addition to the obvious people like close family and friends, sometimes, I use silly criteria, like who wished me a happy birthday on Facebook or via call or text this year. Or, I think about a charity I might support and who I will want to volunteer with after I inevitably quit my job. Most of my musings don't involve anything too crazy. Although, it would be nice to choose where we want to live--in an ideal world I would be a snowbird and never have to experience extreme cold or heat. And, sometimes I imagine a yard with our own private lazy river and all the traveling we would do and, the manner we would achieve that travel. 

Other nights, I think about if there is any decision I would go back and redo. This one is tricky because I have to consider how that redo would effect my current life. I like my life right now and I don't want to risk changing it. So, a good variation is thinking about times I would like to go back and relive. I would like to go back to when the big kids were toddlers and we lived on base in Millington and spend a day or two as 32-year old Kori. I would also love to relive any Christmas vacations. There are trips with Thomas that would be fun to do again. 

Similarly, my final common stream of imaginings involves going back in time. I imagine going back to high school and being able to feel what it was like to be the age my oldest are now.  The difference in this one is that I have to try and convince my family that I am from the future. I think about getting to spend time with my mom, I imagine my current self as inhibiting my younger self for a few days. And, I wonder what I could say to convince them that I truly am from the future. Then, I think about the advice I would offer and what helpful tips I can remember that might positively impact their future. Obviously, I would tell my mom about her cancer returning and implore her not to ignore the signs or let the doctors attribute her concerns to "getting older." I think about contacting Thomas and what I would tell him to convince him that this strange girl from Florida is really his wife 10 years down the road and he should listen to my advice on things I know he wishes he could redo (but, making sure he knows to find me if he does, because again, slippery timeline slope). 

So, I enjoy going to bed and letting my mind wander. Interestingly, I am realizing that I don't imagine what the future might hold. Even in the lottery dreams, I only imagine what I would do in the immediate future, not the long term. Hmm, I wonder what that means? I wonder if anyone will actually read this strange blog. Oh, sometimes, I also think about what I should put in my blog. And, last night, I thought I should blog about what I think about when I fall asleep. So, here we are.