Five Years in Florida!

Five years ago today we spent our last night in Maryland. Time for some reflection!

When we were debating whether or not to move to Florida, Thomas and I made a pro/con list. My recollection was that Maryland won, but that I felt really sad about not moving to Florida and so we put in for the transfer. If I recall, it took our boss a while to make a decision and we were about a day away from withdrawing our names from consideration when they notified us that the transfer was approved. Do I regret the decision? No. Do I wish we had stayed in Maryland? Yes. Don't those two responses conflict? Maybe. In an ideal world, it would have never even been an option, then I would not have felt like I was missing out on anything. In fact, several years before we moved, when I was still a stay-at-home-mom there was an opening in Florida that Thomas, at my request, put in for. I remember feeling a big sense of relief when they hired someone else and the decision was out of our hands. I really enjoyed our life in Maryland and moving was not an easy decision. So, if there had never been two openings, then I would have never felt deprived and would have continued living happily in Maryland. I also wonder sometimes if what I miss most is what life was like pre-covid and pre-all the extreme division in our country. 2019 was definitely a kinder, gentler time. 

At the end of the day, the kids have thrived here. We left behind some drama in Maryland with the girls and their 'friends' and that never resurfaced. They have all done well in school, they all have friends, and I don't think any of them regret the move. I am asking them to write for the blog, so although I don't know what they will say as I write this, you, my dear readers, will only have to keep scrolling to find out.

So, what do I like about Florida? What do I dislike? What do I miss most? 

What I like: I like being near everything we need. Our town in Southern Maryland had everything we needed to live happily on a daily basis, but we were far from some things, which made extended living less ideal. Some kind of silly, like a mall, some more important, like a children's hospital. I hated that when Kara had her appendix out we were hours away (with traffic) from a hospital that would help her. It made me nervous. We also had to go to Baltimore or DC for specialty visits. Here, all the hospitals, including the Children's are 15 minutes away. 

Another big "like" is the college options for the kids. In fact, that is probably the biggest "pro" on the list right now. Our kids can live at home and go to UCF, which is ranked 64th in the country for public universities. UF is ranked 6th, FSU is 23rd, USF is 45th, etc. Maryland doesn't have that level of variety. It does have the University of Maryland College Park, ranked 19th, which is amazing, but you wouldn't have the option of living at home and getting your degrees. Florida also has the Bright Futures Scholarship, which will make college really affordable. Hopefully, our kids all attend Florida universities and we receive this benefit. Otherwise, this "pro" disappears, and we aren't left with nearly as much to fill the list. Although, we would have had more money to afford college if we'd stayed in Maryland. My job there had higher income earning potential, our house payment and our cost of living was significantly less, so financially, moving was not a wise choice.

So, what else makes the "like" list? Being near family, although not in the way I thought. We don't spend nearly as much time together as I expected. But, I am very glad I am here to help with my dad. If not, that would have all fallen on my sister, which would have been terribly unfair to her, and I would have felt horribly guilty. So, for that reason alone, I am glad we are here. 

Another pro is the theme parks. It is so fun to be passholders at Disney and Universal. We are about 30 minutes from all the major parks (some a little more, some a little less) and the novelty of going to Disney on a Wednesday night is not lost on us. It is fun and we enjoy it.

What do I dislike? The weather. There are a few amazing months, a few tolerable months and many excruciatingly hot and humid months. In my dream world, we would be snowbirds and never experience the extreme cold or heat. Maryland's weather was actually pretty perfect, and I miss it. 

The drivers here are also the worst I have ever encountered. The less said on that, the better. Similarly, the traffic where we live is awful. I am not exaggerating when I say that probably 10 giant apartment complexes have been built in our area since we moved here, along with multiple single-family homes. There is one main road and it can be miserable to traverse. The drive to the middle and high schools is absolutely horrible with stop and go traffic. We knew they were still building, but we wrongly thought our specific area was a little more finished. After all, our house was built in 2003, it had been here for 16 years before we moved in and construction ramped up.

Other things I don't like include how expensive it is here. Florida has a reputation for being cheap. It isn't. Our car insurance is more than double what it was in Maryland, our homeowner's is at least 3x more as are our property taxes (those are the comparison numbers from when we moved, now it is much more than that, but I am assuming that Maryland has also increased). So, while there is no state income tax, they definitely get their money. There are also toll roads everywhere. 

I also dislike our house. It is too small and has been a money pit. At one point, I said I liked the layout better than our house in Maryland. I have definitely changed my mind! I miss our basement on a daily basis and our backyard almost as often. Although I do like our Florida neighborhood. It is pretty and shady and I love that the elementary school is within walking distance. There are lots of green spaces and it is very idyllic.

Some additional Maryland specific comparisons: I miss my friends. I miss the relationships I had with the people in our old neighborhood; we all moved in at the same time and our kids grew together. I miss the Wills across the street and the kids going in and out of each other's houses. I miss the bookclubs and the ladies nights and neighborhood group chats. I miss our monthly dinners with the Darrows. I miss having friends at work. I miss having a reliable friend/nanny (Summer!) that would watch the kids and let Thomas and I have a weekend away.

I also miss our weekend trips. I miss that within 3 hours we could be in Williamsburg or Philadelphia, both of which we frequently visited on a long weekend. I miss that New York was just a few more hours away. I miss all our trips to different battlefields and historical sites. I miss the topography. I miss Mount Vernon and the Smithsonian. I would trade the theme parks for the history.

Florida has been good and bad. Overall, I think it is good that we are here. However, I do hope that this is not my permanent home. 

Now, for everyone else's thoughts. I would not let them read when anyone else wrote before providing me their input:

Thomas:  I never wanted to move.  I really loved my life in Maryland. During our time there, Kori would periodically ask some form of the question "if you could live anywhere, where would it be?"  And my answer was always that I couldn't think of anywhere being better than what we have in Maryland. So not only did I love Maryland, I didn't like Florida.  While there are some good things about Florida (Kori's family, Spring Training) I hated the weather and various other things about the state.  And I'm sad to say that after living here for five years, it's not any better. I still hate it here.  A lot.  But that said, I understand this is our home.  I think everyone else in the family is happy here and I don't want to be a Debbie Downer.  In fact, my resolution for 2024 was to write something I liked about living in Florida every day. And I'm happy to report that I've managed to keep that resolution so far.  I try to keep a positive attitude and am truly happy that everyone else enjoys it here. That is, without a doubt, the most important thing to me. 

Anna: I’m glad we moved to Florida because I got to try a lot of new things like basketball, ice skating and lacrosse. I like going to the theme parks and going on cruises. I also think that people here are nicer and the schools are good. I miss the weather in Maryland. I also miss going to places like Mount Vernon, Williamsburg and especially DC. Overall, I am happy that we moved to Florida but I don’t want to stay here after I graduate college.

Jack: I’m really glad about all the opportunities here that weren’t there in Maryland- the tennis center or the YMCA for example. I’m glad that I live in our neighborhood, which is by far the nicest I’ve ever lived in. I’m glad, of course, for my friends. I miss the weather in Maryland. As well as how things weren’t as developed there- though maybe by now that’s changed. I miss how close we were to old historical sites compared to here (Mount Vernon, Yorktown, and such) as well as the cities- DC, Philadelphia, and maybe New York.

Kara: I am very thankful for the opportunities that I’ve had since moving to Florida. Since being here, I have gotten to meet so many wonderful people and create the best memories with them. I know the majority of my family complains and dislikes it here but I like to focus on the more positive side. I’m here and there is so much to be grateful for. Most of family dislikes the weather here, and while yes it can get hot, I like the feeling of the sunshine on my skin. And getting to swim and eat ice cream almost year-round. I also love palm trees. Just getting to see them every day makes me happy. And the sunsets here are gorgeous.  I also love Halloween Horror Nights at Universal. I couldn’t imagine living anywhere else and not being to go. It really makes my year to have the privilege to get to experience that. I also enjoy the opportunities that school has given me. I like to play lacrosse and the theatre program at my school is wonderful. But, the best thing of all is the people. All of my friends I’ve come to know are amazing and I love them all so much. Overall I am so glad we moved to Florida and I will cherish these moments in my life forever.

Luke: I wish we didn't move, but it is nice that I can play baseball year round. I also like my friends here. I miss our house, the backyard, our playset, the weather, my Maryland friends and everything else!