Valentine's Day and Birthday Party!

Kara turned 4 on a Tuesday.  That's not a terribly great day for a party, so we had planned on having her party on Saturday.  Originally, I was hoping that we would be able to get away with a family trip to the zoo (or maybe a trip with some friends).  However, one of Kara's favorite books to look at is our 2011 Shutterfly Photobook.  In that book are all the pictures from Jack and Anna's fourth birthday party blowout.  She decided that ponies are a must when you are turning 4.  So, we decided to have the party here and have the same pony folks (Mary's Go Round) come down.  Fortunately, February is a slow month for them, so we had no trouble booking the ponies.

But, I am getting ahead of myself.  Since her party was planned for the weekend, we didn't do much on Tuesday.  Normally, I would cook a birthday meal.  However, for her birthday meal, Kara requested, "what we had on Thanksgiving."  I agreed, but said it would have to wait for the weekend.  Our birthday dinner compromise was chocolate chip pancakes, which my kids can scarf down!  Seriously, they ate more than I did (and I'm no light weight!).  She had some presents from family to open, and we staggered them throughout the day.  It was a nice day and she enjoyed all the special treatment of it being her day.

Cute sparkly hat from Grandma!

On Wednesday, the kids and I made Valentines for Jack and Anna's class.  I love doing crafts with them, but I often lack creative ideas.  I found this Valentine online last year and we decided to do the same one.  It was amazing what a difference a year makes.  I cut out the shapes, but the kids were entirely self-sufficient.  They really enjoyed making them.  It was a great time for all of us, I loved sitting at the table with them and watching them work.  They were very kind to each other and it was just a peaceful, pleasant moment.

As I mentioned, Kara's party was originally going to be on Saturday, but the forecast was pretty dismal.  We had more than 15 kids coming and I didn't want to try and entertain them inside.  So, we moved the party to Friday.  The kids were so excited, it was like Christmas eve in our house on Thursday night (well, for the girls, Jack was a little more contained).  The weather Friday (today) was beautiful!  The kids seemed to really enjoy the ponies and playing with their friends.  The pony folks brought two ponies: one was for decorating and the other for riding.  They completely covered the decorating pony in stickers and hair decorations.  Kara also spent a long time brushing her, it was very sweet.  I think everyone got the ride the pony multiple times, which was also nice.  Finally, there were 2 goats to feed and 2 bunnies and a duck to pet.

According to her owners, this pregnant pony loves the attention she gets from the "decorating."  

Cowgirl Kara!

For her cake, Kara chose a cupcake theme.  Mind-blowing, according to Thomas.

Opening presents.  She got lots of very cool things.

By the time we got around to pin the tail on the pony, most of our friends had left.  Macey was the definite winner of the game.

I had planned some activities (two crafts, some cowgirl themed library books, and some games) but it didn't really go as anticipated.  The kids seemed to enjoy just running around outside and I decided to leave well enough alone.  Fortunately, Kara told me it was just what she wanted and she loved it.  So, even though it didn't go quite as I'd planned, I am thrilled that she was so happy with the result.  I was also very thankful for all the friends who pitched in to help during the party (and stayed after to clean up!!!); it was a lot harder to run things without Thomas there.  Hopefully, this is the last birthday he'll have to miss!

Kara's Birth Story (and Happy Birthday Post)

Four years ago today, at almost the exact moment I am writing this, Kara came into the world.  I'll get to that, but I want to start with the moment we found out we were going to blessed with another baby.

Jack and Anna were approximately 9 months old.  I was sort of feeling like I might be pregnant, but I was in serious denial.  Did I mention Jack and Anna were only 9 months old???  Finally, I gave in and took a pregnancy test.  It was positive.  Just to be sure, I took another--same result.  By this time, I was already about 10 weeks along.  I called Thomas, but he had left his cell phone at home that day and was unavailable.  So, I had to sit on the news all afternoon until he finally got home.  He was super excited.  I was also very excited, but my excitement was mixed with nervousness.  It had been a rough year.  I had gone into preterm labor, and narrowly avoided giving birth at 30 weeks (another story in and of itself).  Following that scare, I spent the last month of Jack and Anna's pregnancy in the hospital.  They were still born prematurely and Anna spent her first 10 days in the NICU.  Then, there was adjustment to life with preemies. Except for doctor visits, they couldn't even leave the house for the first 2 months.  Then, it was the illness and death of my mother.  After that, I got very sick with a bad case of strep throat, followed by a horrendous double ear infection.  Couple all that with breast-feeding and a serious lack of sleep while working full-time at a very stressful job that required me to be in court multiple times a week, and let's just say I wasn't quite myself.

So, you may be able to get some idea of why I had the nervousness.  Anna had just started consistently sleeping through the night and life was finally feeling a little less nerve-racking.

Fortunately, as the pregnancy progressed and it became evident how much easier it was going to be for my body to handle one baby as opposed to two, the nervousness went away and only the excitement remained.  We didn't find out the gender (although we strongly suspected, thanks to an ultrasound tech who referred to Kara as "she" more than once).  I carried her to full term and she was born weighing a healthy 8 pounds and 2 ounces.  What a difference those extra 3 pounds made!  She only woke up once each night.  I called her our "angel baby," she was just so easy!  Well, until she hit about 6 months and developed a bit of a temper/stubborn streak.

Today, Kara is amazing.  She is super-independent.  She has been picking her clothes and dressing herself since she was two.  She loves imaginative play and can keep herself entertained for hours with dolls, toy animals, pretty much anything.  She is somewhat short-tempered, but gets over it very easily.  For example, yesterday she hit me.  I sent her to timeout.  A minute later, I walked past her and she reached out, hugged my leg and said "I love you, Mommy."  She is also very smart and super coordinated.  She is very cuddly and sweet.  She shares well and is kind to her friends and siblings.  She is pure joy and I can't believe how much I love her.  She was the perfect addition to our family and came at the perfect time.

Happy fourth birthday, Kara.  I am so excited for your future!

Eulogy

My favorite picture of my Mom and Jack.  

Today marks the 5 year anniversary of my mother's death.  In December 2007, she came up to visit.  The twins were only 2.5 months old and she already loved them so much.  She had come for 2 weeks when they were born and this was to be her second visit.  Unfortunately, she was sick.  I think she probably knew she wasn't feeling well enough to travel, but she wanted to be with the babies so much.  (If I had known how sick she was, I am sure we would have found a way to go to her.) On December 23rd, she was feeling so poorly that my Dad took her to the Emergency Room.  I got up in the middle of the night and could hear them talking.  I didn't know what exactly the diagnosis was, but I knew it wasn't good.  They revealed the next day that her cancer had returned.  She had been in remission from breast cancer for 5 years.  The cancer had already metasticized to her liver and the prognosis was not good.  She flew home a day or two later to see if she could begin chemotherapy.  Unfortunately, they didn't have any appointments for weeks.  My mother wasn't pushy enough to press the issue.  I wish she had, although it probably would have made no difference.  Approximately one month later, my father called and said we should come.  So, we did.  My three siblings and I all gathered round her as she died.  We saw her take her last breaths on January 29th 2008. She had just turned 65.

I never struggled in my relationship with my mother.  There was no time, even in the teen years, where  we didn't get along.  I always thought she was wonderful and always enjoyed her company.  She was among my best friends and I still miss her terribly.

She died when my oldest children were only 3 months old.  She never met her namesake--Kara Ann (my mother was Carol Ann).  While I always loved my mother, I don't think I truly appreciated how amazing she was until I had children of my own.  I wish I could tell her now.  I am no where near as patient, loving, or kind as she was--but, she has given me something to strive for.  If my children think I am anywhere near as successful a parent as she was, I will consider my own life a success.

My Aunt Pat gave an amazing Eulogy at her funeral.  It is relatively long, but I want to share some of my favorite excerpts that illustrate some of her best qualities.

My mom was brilliant:  "Carol was precocious.  She was speaking in complete sentences by two, and even then, had an uncanny ability to spot, and point out any illogical argument.  My mother used to tell the story of how, when Carol was barely two, she had left her with our grandmother and went to pick berries.  Carol wanted to go with our mother and once our mom had left began to scream and yell, having a real temper tantrum.  Finally our grandmother turned to her and said, "Carol, why are you screaming?  Your mother can't hear you."  Carol stopped crying, looked straight at our Grandmother and said, "But you can!"...She was avid reader by the time she finished Kindergarten... She was on a team of four students from our high school who competed on a local radio program called THE WHIZ KIDS.  The program aired on Saturday mornings and I would sit listening to the radio, waiting for her to ring her buzzer and answer a question.  She had all the right answers...She was on her high school debating team, was President of the Honor Society and was Salutatorian of her graduating class."

She was competitive (which made game nights so fun at our house!):  "Carol hated to lose and, whether it was checkers, monopoly or softball, she played to win.  And, most of the time she did.  With the birth of Kori and Thomas' twins, she was quick to remind me that she now had more grandchildren than I had."

She was giving and unselfish (and creative):  "One Christmas when Carol was about 12 years old, she had an idea for making Christmas Wreaths.  She took some old coat hangers and started tying princess pine to them.  She added holly leaves with berries and soon she had a beautiful, very professional looking wreath.  She was my own Martha Stewart.  As often as she showed me how to tie the princess pine on the hanger, I couldn't get mind to look like hers.  We agreed that my brothers and I would gather the pine, she'd make the wreaths, and the boys and I would go door to door selling them.  Carol wasn't a, "well, I'll just do it myself" person, but was always willing to take the hard job and give others what they were comfortable with.  We sold the wreaths, making enough money to buy our parents and each other Christmas gifts."

She had lots of interests:  "She had no interest in dolls, fancy clothes and girly things.  She did not waste her time with imaginative play.  She lived in the grown-up world.  She loved baseball.  She could recite all the stats for every player on the Boston Red Sox teams of the 1950's.  She was passionate about politics, reading everything she could about the candidates before deciding to campaign for John F. Kennedy in 1960.  She loved listening to the music of Elvis Presley; Peter, Paul, and Mary; and Johnny Mathis.  She loved writing: poetry when she was young and novels as she got older.  She loved sewing and crafts.  And, most of all, she loved teaching, deciding very early on that she was going to be a teacher.  Like all of Carol's loves, the enjoyment of these interests remained throughout her life."

She was loyal: "As younger sisters do, I had a bad habit of wanting to tag along with my big sister. She seemed to have all the friends.  I had only her.  I'd ask to go along to the beach, park, or wherever she was invited.  The conversation always ended with me pleading and her saying, "OK, I'll ask." When I'd hear those familiar words, I'd know I was in.  I believe I even went along at least one of her dates with Lucien, her then, future husband.  When Carol joined 4-H, like everything else she did, she excelled, learning quickly how to sew.  She was soon making her own clothes.  I may have been a little jealous, especially where new clothes were involved, and I asked if I could join 4-H with her.  There was some irritation, but yes, she'd ask.  The sewing circle consisted of a group of her friends, some of whom she would keep in contact with her entire life.  Carol always had good and loyal friends, and I'm sure it was because she was such a good and loyal friend."

She was wonderful and I miss her.

Pierced Ears!!!

Last week, while Thomas was here, we made a trip to Annapolis.  Thomas had been craving a good burger, preferably a #12 from Johnny Rockets and I was craving a trip to a good mall.  The Annapolis mall is awesome!  The only problem was that all our kids are too tall for the one play area they have open, which is really our bribing tool anytime we visit a mall.  I could have sworn there was another one last time we were there, but maybe I have it confused with the mall in Fredericksburg?  Anyway, we stumbled upon a free kid care area, we brought the kids in and they loved it!  We were able to leave them for up to 2-hours.  We left them for one, which was plenty of time for us to walk around the mall and find me some new sneakers.  When we came back to get them, Kara didn't want to leave.  That little advertisement is not really the point of this blog.  The point is that when we walked in, we saw a Claire's.  As is our custom, I asked Anna if she wanted to get her ear's pierced.  She has been asking to do this almost since she could talk.  I told her when she was 5 she could have them done (which is significantly younger than the 8 my parents made me wait for).  When her 5th birthday came, we took her to the mall and she chickened out.  Since then, every time we go to the mall, I give her the option.  It is almost more of a joke now. This time, she responded she wanted to think about it and maybe on the way out she would have them done.

So, we had our lunch at Johnny Rockets, complete with milkshakes all around and then decided to head out.  As we approached Claire's, I asked Anna if she had decided whether or not to get her ears done and she surprised us all by saying that she would.  I still didn't really expect her to go through with it.  I told her it would hurt, because that is how I remember it, but that the pain would be super quick and probably hurt less than the flu shot.  She chose her earrings and bravely sat in the chair.  The girl doing the piercing kept saying it wouldn't hurt, but Anna didn't believe her (neither did I) and kept pulling away every time the woman got near.  She was very patient and suggested that Anna sit on Thomas' lap.  Anna was still insisting she wanted to go through with it, so Thomas held her head still.  After the first ear was done, Anna reported that it didn't hurt.  After Anna was done, Kara, all smiles, jumped into the chair.  We didn't have the heart to tell her no.  Anna was excited to have Kara get hers done too, which helped our decision (we didn't want hard feelings because we made her wait and Kara didn't have to).  Kara didn't find it quite as painless as Anna, but she was still a trouper.  They were so cute admiring each other in the store that a few people even gathered around and remarked how sweet they were.

So, without further ado, the pictures:

While insisting she was ready, she kept moving away from the piercer.

It helped to have Daddy's lap to sit on.

My favorite shot.

All enthusiastic optimism.

Still feeling good.

Not quite so happy now, but proud after she was done.

The finished product.  

It was fun and the girls are still super excited about their pierced ears.  Anna has already been in my jewelry box to decide what she is going to borrow when the 8 weeks are up. I think she's going to be surprised, but I'll soften the blow by taking them to the store to pick out their very own pair or two.  It is so fun to have little girls!  (Note to Jack--little boys are awesome too!!!)

A Wonderful Surprise

On Saturday, January 12th, Thomas called.  Unfortunately, we were at the library and didn't notice the phone ringing.  However, a few minutes after the call, I noticed he had left a message.  That is pretty unusual; it costs a ton of minutes on the calling card to connect, so he will usually just call back later.  We played the message and heard a big surprise--they were sending Thomas to a meeting in DC!!!  He was going to fly in on Friday for the meeting and spend the long weekend with us.  We were all very excited.

On Monday, he called again, saying that the flight he was originally going to take was cancelled and he would be flying in tomorrow (Tuesday). There was actually a lot of back and forth on the details of which day/flight, but, to make a long story short, he was able to come in on Tuesday and was going to spend an entire week with us!

He arrived on Tuesday night and Kara and I picked him up.  Jack and Anna had their first gymnastics class and I didn't want them to miss it.  It was a huge production to get them there that involved renting a car to pick up Thomas with so that Jennifer could use the van to take them.  The things parents do for their children!  Anyway, I wasn't going to take Kara, because she is Terrible in the car.  She has always hated being in the car.  When she was a baby, she would start to cry as soon as you fastened her in.  When she was 4 months old, we moved to Tennessee and the drive was marked with 16 hours of crying (Thomas and I alternated who had to drive her every 3 hours--Jack and Anna happily played with their toys in the "quiet car").  She doesn't cry anymore, but she whines and complains.  Her favorite complaint: "it's taking too long...my back is sweaty."  This occurs, on average, 10 minutes into a drive.  So, I told her she could come with me, but no whining or complaining.  She agreed.  We got to Hughesville and she started whining.  I reminded her of our deal and she responded, "well, you aren't going to turn around."  She had me there.

So, whiny Kara and I picked up Thomas at the Branch Avenue metro.  I felt kind of bad about making him take the metro, but it was prime traffic time and it just made sense.  Although, I still feel lousy about it, so I should have just faced the traffic and gone to the airport.  We went to a Mongolian restaurant in Waldorf, which was really good.  It was almost surreal to have him with us.  We got home shortly after 7, just minutes after Jack and Anna came in from gymnastics.

We had a great visit.  The kids were so well-behaved.  After Thomas left in September, Jack began having a lot of behavioral problems.  Some of it has been kind of severe.  But, he was his old self with Thomas here.  It was amazing to see the difference.  It also provided me with a sense of relief, that hopefully there will be  an end to what we have been going through.  Anyway, we went to restaurants, did a nature walk, had a fun day in Annapolis, played a lot of hide and seek and other games in our house, and generally just had a good time.  Thomas also set-up our surround sound and got rid of the crazy way I had things hooked up in the living room.  It was a super-productive, laid-back week. The kids loved having him here, they insisted he do everything for them (brush teeth, read stories, etc.).  It was heart-warming to see them fight over who got to sit next to him or hold his hand when we were out.  It made me feel very lucky to have such a wonderful man as my husband.

Unfortunately, the visit ended at 5 this morning when I took him back to the airport.  The kids and I are sad.  Next week, we will finally cross the halfway point in his deployment.  It will be so nice to have our family back together again.

New Year's Resolutions (or lack thereof) & Random Thoughts

I wrote this a couple of weeks ago, but didn't "publish" for some reason:

So, I read my post from last New Year's.  While I still think resolutions are a good thing, 2012 was a fail year for me.  I am not thinner, nicer or keeping track of expenses.  Time has continued on and I am pretty much the same as I was on January 1, 2012.  So this year I am making no grand pronouncements.  Is it better to try and fail, or not try at all?  I am taking the lazy man's out.  However, I pass no judgment on those who choose a different path.  In fact, I judge those who judge you!  That grand pronouncement stems from how aggravating it is to listen to the people at the gym make comments about the annoying "resolutioners."  We all understand that you can't wait until March when the riff raff clears out.  You have obviously forgotten that you too, at some point started and were new to the gym.  Maybe it wasn't on January 1st, but so what?  (By the way, I am not an exercise resolutioner--I joined in November, so this is not defending myself--exercise has never been the problem.  Food on the other hand...).

Okay, enough about that.  I really had no thoughts for this blog.  I just felt it was time to write.

Jack and Anna are enjoying preschool.  Well, maybe enjoying isn't the right word.  Tolerating is probably more accurate.  I do worry about the years to come.  Aren't kids supposed to be excited to start school?  Mine don't want to do it.  They are dreading kindergarten when they have to be "gone all day (said with a whine and/or sigh)."

Hmm, I quickly (well, sort of quickly) see that my thoughts are on the negative side this morning.  Maybe not the best time to write.  Some happy thoughts: I love our new house and neighborhood.  It is so convenient to be able to make a quick trip somewhere.  We have also made some new friends, which is exactly what I was hoping for.  In fact, we have a picnic playdate with one of our neighbors in an hour.  I signed the kids up for gymnastics (starts next week) and they are excited about that.  Thomas is now at 43% completion on his IA.  Ohh, I can do a funny Thomas story.

So, he lost his cell phone and some girl called his house and said she had it.  Thomas was out running at the time, so his roommate took the call.  His roommate withheld this information for 24 hours, during which time Thomas frantically searched the base for his phone (it's a work phone).  Finally, his roommate tells him about the call, but didn't have any other information, he just told Thomas he figured he would know.  I am aggravated at said roommate, until it is revealed that roomie believes Thomas was with the girl who called and that is why he passively aggressively refused to give Thomas the info and didn't bother to get a name.  Way to have my back, complete stranger!  Of course, Thomas wasn't with the girl, and had no idea who she was.  He tried calling the phone, but it didn't work.  Eventually, the phone was returned to his office and all is well.

Christmas!

With two five-year-olds and a three-year-old, Christmas is very magical and fun.  The kids love Santa, don't expect a lot, and are happy with what they do get.  They are slightly excited about presents they choose for others, but it's still pretty much about them.  Hopefully, they will maintain their happy attitudes about Christmas and increase their capacity for empathy and the giving spirit in the coming years.  Regardless, this year was pretty darn fun.  We made Christmas calendars/behavior charts for the first time.  Anna somehow managed to make it the whole month without a single frowny face.   And, we continued some other traditions like baking for Santa, listening to lots of Christmas music, and looking for our Elf on the Shelf.  The only thing missing was Thomas.

Christmas Eve was exciting.  Despite all our counting down, they seemed surprised to learn we were actually just one night away from Christmas morning!  I let them open up their Christmas pajamas (another tradition), we kept an eye on the NORAD tracker, and watched Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.  It was a fun night.  It was easy to get them into bed, since they knew Santa wouldn't visit if they were still awake.

Unfortunately, bed time for them meant work time for me.  I had bought them a Power Wheels Dune Buggy.  Assembly required.  That is much more Thomas' forte than mine (I need to do a blog on all the things I have had to put together myself in the past 2 months).  Most reviews said assembly would take about an hour.  It took me around 3.  By the time I had everything ready for the morning, it was close to 1, which is way past my bed time.

The kids got up at their regular time (around 7:30), which was nice.  Thomas was going to try and Skype with us, but the Liberty Center didn't open until 9.  The kids opened their stockings and then got the rare treat of daytime t.v. (in this case, Dora the Explorer Christmas Special) while we waited.  They also had cinnamon rolls, which is Jennifer's tradition.  Finally, it was 9 and the computer rang.  

Thomas got to see them open about 1 present each before the connection was lost.  Too many people on the computers.  That was disappointing.  The kids opened another present and then decided to take a break to play.  The whole morning was filled with presents and play breaks.  It was relaxing and fun.  Jack had "lots of work" to do after opening up some new legos.  

Around 2, the girls decided they wanted to try out their scooters.  About the same time, we noticed a note from Santa under the tree.  In short, it said that there was another present that was too big to fit under the tree. They went on a hunt and found the Dune Buggy in the garage.  

Let me just say that Jack is a terrible driver.  Anna could only stand to be a passenger for about 3 minutes before she was screaming, "let me out of this thing."  However, she was only slightly better.  Kara was surprisingly good, probably because she actually listened to directions instead of insisting she, "knows how to drive."  Fortunately, there is a safety screw that keeps it at 2.5 mph.  It will be awhile before they have the option of the speedy 5 mph.  

Then, it was back inside to call relatives to thank them.  It was a fun day.  Jack kept calling it "Christmas Eve," so I was worried about his expectations this morning.  Fortunately, he was happy to get up and play with all his toys.  

Some of the aftermath. 

Kara's favorite present was her dreamlight.  She means "all of them."  Anna said she liked her polly pocket stuff.  Jack also said all of them, when I asked him for a favorite he said he needed a few minutes to think about it.  He finally chose a giant robot toy as his favorite.  Kara is also excited about a Toys-R-Us gift card their grandmother sent for whatever Santa may have missed.