Absconding From Parental Responsibility

While parenting alone does have some benefits (I can watch the Real Housewives of New Jersey without judgement, for example). There are some definite drawbacks. Mainly, I get tired. Having 3 little kids while managing the home life is exhausting. Certainly, it could be much worse. I have a great babysitter and a pretty good work schedule. But, still. Planning dinners, shopping, doing laundry, cleaning (occassionally), and my least favorite of all--putting them to bed. Stories, songs, hugs, kisses, more hugs, searching for blankets, books, special pillows, etc. And the whining, oh the whining! It gets tiring.

Today, Kara was having an issue with her diapers. I am not quite sure what was going on. But, we finally decided to just forgo the things and let her put on underwear. Kara is not close to being potty trained. But, I figured I'd roll the dice and see what happened. She put the underwear on and I asked Anna if she wanted to potty-train Kara. I wasn't serious. But, Anna and Kara didn't know that. They thought it was a great idea. So, I put my 3.5-year-old in charge of my 2.5-year-old. I absconded from responsibility.

Anna started with, "Kara, I will show you what to do. Come sit over here." A few minutes later, I heard her ask, "do you need to go potty, honey?" Kara answered affirmatively, so off they went. Anna put the potty seat on the toilet and waited while Kara tried to go. This was repeated several times. Anna called her "honey" all night. I think Kara may have actually peed once, but I don't know--because I didn't bother to go in and see. They were happy, I was happy. And, there were no accidents. She stayed dry for the 2.5 hours she wore the underwear.

No need to call child services, I will not make a habit over letting Anna parent Kara. I don't think Kara would stand for it for much more than a night anyway.

3 Unsupervised Children + 2 Pairs of Scissors = DISASTER

Today, I made a bad decision. The lawn really needed to be mowed. I thought the best way to try and get it done was while the kids were napping. I told them I was going to mow the lawn and that if they needed me to come outside. We had a busy morning so I thought they would fall asleep relatively easily. I waited until they were quiet and headed outside. About 15 minutes later they all came out. I sent them back in with the promise of a "special treat" if they would go take a nap. Stupid, I know. In my defense I felt like they were safer inside than wandering the yard (it's a big yard and I can't mow and keep a good eye on them). I am not sure why I thought they would stay in their rooms. Wishful thinking? Pure idiocy? About an hour later Anna came outside. I thought she looked a little odd, but presumed her ponytail had drifted to the side while she was laying down. The others quickly followed and I told them they could play outside.



As I was finishing the yard, I caught a good view of Anna from the side. Something was definitely up. I asked her if she cut her hair and she responded, "no, Mommy." It quickly became obvious and I started to laugh. She began laughing too, obviously pleased with my reaction. Well, until I told her that her hair looked awful, then she started crying.



I went to round up Jack and Kara so we could hurry to a hair salon. It was already close to 4 and I really wanted to get this fixed (as much as it could be) before church in the morning. Then, I noticed that Kara was looking a little odd. I quickly realized we had a second victim (pepetrator?). Her hair was actually kind of trendy looking. Someone's skills were improving...



We went inside and I was able to identify the crime scene (yes, that is a Constitution laying next to the scissors--I am not sure which inalienable right they were trying to apply). There was another set of scissors and hair in the hallway (actually, there was a trail of hair in the hallway).



On the drive to the Hair Cuttery, I finally got the full explanation. Apparently, after they went inside they "decided it would be a good idea" to cut their hair. Anna asked Jack if he would do the honors and he said "sure." Only half of her hair was cut because "it didn't look so good." I really wish I had a video camera on when they were relaying the story--it was hilarious! The only part of the story that remained unclear was how Kara got roped into it.

Here they are waiting at Hair Cuttery. They were quite a hit with the staff and clientele.



When asked how her hair should be cut, Anna said to "make it smaller."



Kara suprised me with how still she sat.

The finished product.

I recognize that I am VERY lucky. Three small children with some very sharp scissors close to eyes, ears, and necks could have been truly disastrous. I will consider it a lesson learned for all of us!

The Consequences of Words

If you have children no doubt you have uttered an if/then ultimatum. In my house, there are at least 5 such occurences daily, per child, each hour. For example, "if you don't apologize, then you're going to timeout." Makes perfect sense, right? The problem with the if/then ultimatum is that when they do the "if," you have to do the "then." Sometimes, that's easy and comparatively painless, such as the above time-out example. Othertimes, you can box yourself into a corner. But, if you want to enforce that your words have meaning, then you really have no choice.

This Independence Day weekend, I boxed myself into a corner and it was I who suffered most from the consequences. The scene: our house. Chaotic as always, lots of crying, complaining, and general unrest. Oh, and three little kids (badabing--I bet you didn't see that coming!). The kids got up early, the excitment of the day looming before them. I was REALLY looking forward to going to a local concert that evening, complete with fireworks timed to a live rendition of the 1812 Overture. We told the kids about all the fun we were going to have. We had a busy morning, shopping at Lowe's for paint samples and going out to lunch. When we got home, it was naptime. The girls usually sleep at naptime, and Jack takes the opportunity to play quietly in his room, which most days he actually enjoys. The kids generally go to bed at 8pm. Since the fireworks didn't start until after 9, Thomas and I told them how important it was for them to be quiet and take a nap. They indicated an understanding.

Five minutes later, they're out of bed, jumping around, playing loudly with toys. Anna was actually singing quite loudly. So, I go in and ask them nicely to be quiet. They promise they will be quiet. Unfortunately, they have no idea what a promise is, because shortly thereafter, same scenario (minus the singing at least). This time Daddy goes in to lay down the law. Again, they indicate they will be quiet and affirm that they want to be able to stay up for fireworks. A few minutes later, they are out of bed again, communicating loudly through the walls. I go in again and this is when it happens.

I issue the if/then ultimatum: "If you don't be quiet and take a nap, then we are NOT going to the fireworks." Well, you can guess what happened. Nap time crawls by, nobody sleeps, nobody even attempts to sleep. They are loud and playful. I reissue the threat to no avail. Nap time ends. They ask if they can still go the fireworks. With a heavy heart, I am forced to say no. They cry. They beg. They "promies" they'll take a nap tomorrow (not falling for that one!). But, we warned them. The rules were clear. We are forced to follow through.

Twenty minutes later, they've forgotten about the fireworks. They are happily playing some game, while I am left to ponder what went wrong. Actually, there isn't much to ponder, I made a cardinal mistake. I set forth a consequence I really, REALLY didn't want to enforce. I tried to find some way to back out. But, there wasn't any wiggle room in this one. We ended up buying some sparklers and little fireworks for our yard. The kids could see larger fireworks in the distance and were reminded that if they had been quiet, they could be watching giant fireworks in the sky. But, they didn't seem to care, they were happy. It was me who suffered.

Later that weekend, we were going to a friend's barbecue. Nap time rolled around. Anna said, "if we don't take a nap, we can't go to the barbecue, right Mommy?" Her Daddy, the smart one, responded with, "if you don't take a nap, you can't have dessert at the barbecue." Everyone was quiet that day.