Mid Week Update

The kids have now been doing online school for 4 days. It has gone okay. Anna, Jack and Kara had some online classes, but most work has been assigned via e-mail messages. Fortunately, the district was already set up pretty well for digital learning. All middle and high schoolers have their own laptop and class assignments were already done primarily online. So, while it is a big change, it is not as difficult as it would have been otherwise.

The middle-schoolers weren't interested in having their pictures taken. But, half of the Wilson class:

I am feeling a little down. Work has been really busy this week with lots of long phone calls, including several with my bosses bosses boss (my third level supervisor). I want to do a good job, but I have no desire to rise any further in the ranks.Therefore, I like to try and fly under the radar. With my current workload that has been impossible. Frankly, I am in a bit over my head. I have no issue with admitting that; I know I can't get better if I don't ask for help. So, lots of high level phone calls (not about my ineptitude, but the underlying issues). Some of these phone calls last for literally hours. That isn't difficult for the older kids, inconvenient, but they understand. But, for Luke, it has been torturous. Usually, Thomas or I can take a minute to redirect him, but sometimes both of us are busy. We are getting paid to work from home, and are expected to do so. Luke doesn't always understand. One day this week, I was giving him the standard, "do you like having a house to live in, food to eat, and clothes to wear" line and his response was, "why isn't this house paid for yet, it is taking forever!" Apparently, we've used that line a lot!

So, it has been stressful, we are doing the best we can, but it isn't easy. The other problem with working from home is I feel like I am expected to be available at all hours. The e-mails frequently go far later than I would typically be working. And, I know I am really lucky to have a job and the ability to work from home, but I would rather be baking or playing games or assisting the kids with their schoolwork. I feel pulled in so many directions! And, I don't feel like I am succeeding in any of them.

One exciting thing--I was able to order toilet paper from Amazon! I checked periodically to see if they had it in stock and just lucked out yesterday afternoon. That is one less thing to worry about. Our grocery stores were much better stocked this week, except for toilet paper and paper towels. Now, we will have plenty of both. And, it was a relief to see most grocery aisles full of food. I hope the "hoarding" part is over. I put hoarding in quotes, because I got frustrated at people directing us to buy only what we need. There were no further directions. Buy what we need for a week? A month? What happens if interstate commerce collapses and we can't get what we need, was it "hoarding" to buy extra frozen food, just in case? I am all about being a good citizen, but I also want to be prepared. So, I stocked our freezer a bit more than usual, but tried not to be overzealous.

Back to the toilet paper. When it first disappeared from shelves, I began counting our rolls. I knew we would need more than usual because we would be home all day. I literally laid in bed thinking about how many we had and trying to average how long they would last. And, even though the number didn't change, I counted them daily. It gave me comfort, I'm not even kidding. I read the toilet paper obsession was a way for people to feel in control and I think that was definitely the case for me. Now, with my latest Amazon purchase, I have freed up my mind to obsess over other things.

With all the stress and frustration I feel, I can't imagine what the 6.6 million people who filed for unemployment last week are feeling. All of this on top of fears of money worries?!?! Our retirement accounts have taken a major hit, but we still have a lot of years left to rebuild. So, I am trying to keep things in perspective. But, it can also be hard not to go down the rabbit hole of "what-ifs". What if this is not temporary, what if another deadly virus strikes? What if normal is never the same? But, then I talk myself down and I know that this too shall pass, or at least we will adapt as society always has, then I feel a little silly for overreacting, at least about those concerns. I think the increasing numbers of hospitalizations and deaths are scary and worthy of concern. We will do what we can and hope for a quick resolution and a minimization of harm.